Shuttlecock! Part XVII - No Broken Cocks, Just A Swing!

[corianderstem]

I'm listening to Cootle and Scum Rudder and Come Wibble and Rum Shuttle and Bum.

I haven't listened to it in ages.

 

[martha]

Sadly, i think there are actually worse pictures from other shows with the same outcome...

Really? Has she no shame? Or is she...."special"?

 

[impy13]

Well, according to the news, some guy got the shit beat out of him and died on Sixth last night.

Sorry, guys. It wasn't me.

 

[phillyfan26]

Well, according to the news, some guy got the shit beat out of him and died on Sixth last night.

Sorry, guys. It wasn't me.

It should have been, Thom.

 

[corianderstem]

Well, she was a meth-head. Maybe it's had lasting effects on her.

But again, I look forward to hearing Fergilicious. I'll snap out of my pouty funk to shake my groove thing and be up in the gym just working on my fitness.

 

[phillyfan26]

Wash first, please.

This will be the first time in my life anywhere where earthquakes happen.

 

[martha]

Just as this place gets going, I have to go to bed.

 

[impy13]

This will be the first time in my life anywhere where earthquakes happen.

This is of course omitting the night Lance's Mom made you a man and rocked your world.

 

[Irvine511]

be up in the gym just working on my fitness.

i this lyric.

 

[martha]

Well, she was a meth-head. Maybe it's had lasting effects on her.

Really?!

(That seems to be my standard response to anything having to do with those people.)

 

[martha]

This will be the first time in my life anywhere where earthquakes happen.

They don't happen that often. You should be fine.

 

[martha]

Ok, now I really am going to bed.

 

[corianderstem]

i this lyric.

It's one of those songs I'm a little ashamed to admit I love, but I can't help myself. As god is my witness, I like Fergilicious!

 

[phillyfan26]

This is of course omitting the night Lance's Mom made you a man and rocked your world.

It ended more like George Bluth when he hired Justine Bateman as a prostitute.

 

[impy13]

As god is my witness, I like Fergilicious!

I do too, but only when this guy does it:

YouTube - PAUL BROGAN - NBA RAP (Original)

It ended more like George Bluth when he hired Justine Bateman as a prostitute.

Do you just want YLB to be jealous of your money?

 

[phillyfan26]

Do you just want YLB to be jealous of your money?

Why can't I have money and hair and him nothing?

 

[u2popmofo]

She's the Hugh Jackman of the music world.

This made me laugh out loud. I like.

My favorite part of the whole song is when Kiv keeps ending his lines with "motherfucker" and T-Pain repeats it in the background.

Agreed, it's beautiful.

It's one of those songs I'm a little ashamed to admit I love, but I can't help myself. As god is my witness, I like Fergilicious!

Is that the "Flossy Flossy" song?

 

[Irvine511]

It's one of those songs I'm a little ashamed to admit I love, but I can't help myself. As god is my witness, I like Fergilicious!

it's personal, myself and i, but may or may not sing along to "big girls don't cry."

guess i've got some straightening out to do.

and ah'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blaaaayn-kayt ...

btw, when is our puce wedding?

 

[corianderstem]

Is that the "Flossy Flossy" song?

No, that would be Glamorous. Again, ashamed I know that. But damned if her solo stuff isn't right up my Big Dumb Pop Song Alley.

btw, when is our puce wedding?

I'm not sure yet. I need to do all the hand-stitching on my wedding gown. It's got, like, millions of sparkles and beads and stuff and I need to sew them all on myself. By candlelight. With a dull needle.

I'll keep you posted, darling. I'm sure it won't be too long ... how is 2020 looking for you?

 

[Irvine511]

how is 2020 looking for you?

by then, i'll be able to gay marry you anywhere!

except Mississippi.

 

[corianderstem]

We can have "Naughty Girl With a Bad Habit" as our first dance song.

 

[lazarus]

When was the last time anyone wrote a Shuttlecock song?

It's been a while.

We still have many holes to fill, no pun intended.

 

[impy13]

I'll do one tomorrow. Piff Diggity hasn't updated a lot on the site. Missing are:

City of Winding Serves
Crabs on My Table
Stuck in a Rally You Can't Get Out Of
Staring at the Cock
Last Cock on Earth
The Playbird Mansion (or whatever you renamed it)
Crabbyface
Until the End of the Match
Contagious Ways
Cockrobat
Cocks of the Disappeared

And possibly more.

 

[lazarus]

The Playbird Mansion (or whatever you renamed it)

The Playbird Clubhouse, thank you.

 

[lazarus]

I just tried writing One Cock Hill and quickly became bored out of my mind.

I liked this part, though:

And in the world a court of darkness
A tourney zone
Where players speak their mind
and get fouled for it
Dalton sang - his song a hatchet
In the hands of one
tribal blood still spills
On the ground

 

[impy13]

I like that a lot. That's been my problem with a lot of the songs I've tried to do. Even a lot I finished and submitted I don't think are very funny. For every "All Because of Cock" I've got a "Out of the Court."

The trick is finding one that just completely jumps out at you with a funny theme or idea. Even if it's just one funny lyric, you can build on it.

 

[lazarus]

Well, short but needed to be done:


COCKS OF THE DISAPPEARED

Midnight, the pimps and hookers
They come down and take the streets
Hear the cockbeats
We hear their cockbeats
In the wind we hear their sales pitch
In the rain we see their johns
Hear their cockbeats
We hear their cockbeats
Ooh....
She hangs like a butcher's rack
Stretched out, black and blue
Hear her cockbeats
We hear her cockbeats

On the bed her son lies naked
Through the walls his mother cries
See her tears as she gets balled
Ooh....

 

[Lancemc]

Bravo.

The last little stanza makes it.

 

[impy13]

Midnight, and Lance's mother
In cut offs and old halter tops
Walks the dark streets
She walks the dark streets

In the dark she sees their headlights
In autos making her wage
Walks the dark streets
She walks the dark streets

Heels clang, an entrepreneur
Spread legs and cheap tattoos
Walks the dark streets
She walks the dark streets

In their cars her tricks sit naked
Works the balls till they're spent and dried
Hear her moans like a siren's call
Ooh...

Originally posted by Laz, despite him apparently forgetting
City of Winding Serves has some funny moments, but this one is just fucking CLASSIC. One of your best. I don't think I'll be able to get through Joshua Cock without laughing now, which is a bit of a shame.

I dig yours and everything (especially the bit Lance mentioned), but I figured your glowing praise would be enough for you to realize it's already been done.

 

[Lancemc]

Laz's is better. Has the better (cock)punch-line at the end, and fits better syllabically.

Although I should say "Works the balls till they're spent and dried" has a rather effective nonchalance about it.