Sex before marriage....thoughts?

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Living with somebody isnt a good test as to whether you can be with them forever.
It takes more than just compatiblility. You can live with somebody without the committment of marriage but it takes a real committment in your head to make compromise, and learn to live with things you dont particularly like about the other person
Theres a way out when youre not married. But once youve tied the knot you might start seeing the things that really drive you nuts in a different light :shrug:
I wanted to wait, but I didnt. But I didnt really enjoy it either. It was just recreation to me.
Now that Ive found the person I truly love its totally different. The whole experience has changed from a physical action or reaction, to an emotional and sensual experience.
Now sex effing rocks! :rockon:
But I had an emotional connection with my guy, and got to know him on a really deep level before I even saw him. That makes a huge difference
 
I don't know if I'll wait until marriage or not. But I don't see myself having sex until I'm in a serious and committed relationship, whether it be marriage or not. I'd rather wait for someone who's worth it than have sex just to say I have.
 
melon said:


So people get married only to have sex? I think there's reason enough why people shouldn't get married. They do it for all the wrong reasons.

Melon
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I totally agree. I grew up in a really traditional, somewhat conservative Christian community so sex before marriage is NOT ok, but then there's all these couples getting married and they're only 18, 19 years old, neither have a real job or degree or whatever...they just want to be able to pretend they're already grown-ups and screw. :rolleyes: When I tell people Phil and I have been going out 2.5 years and are not engaged they're like "WHAAAA?!?! how can you stand it?" and I'm like "puleeeeze...I'm not some animal!"

In general, I say wait b/c personally I see no point in having sex before marriage. For me it's too risky, emotionally, physically...you just never know. But, I really don't like people getting married b/c they want to have sex and feel good about "waiting".
 
I worked with a girl who was contemplating marriage at 21 so she could have sex with her boyfriend (they were both v. Christian). How they don't see the insanity in this line of thinking is beyond me.
 
I think people should wait until they are ready to have sex. To me marriage doesn't enter into it, but for some people it does. So I think whatever works for the individual is what that individual should do.

And never let anyone pressure you to do anything you're not ready for -- not sex, marriage, children, investments, nothing.
 
Well, if my gf don`t want sex before marriage,..i have no choice. ...and no way i would try to change her mind.
 
Well,as if that would be the only reason to love a girl,...:| ( or boy )

Everything can be learned :wink:
 
LivLuvAndBootlegMusic said:


I totally agree. I grew up in a really traditional, somewhat conservative Christian community so sex before marriage is NOT ok, but then there's all these couples getting married and they're only 18, 19 years old, neither have a real job or degree or whatever...they just want to be able to pretend they're already grown-ups and screw. :rolleyes:
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Sounds like where I grew up. I was an old maid at 20 becasue I wasn't married or even engaged yet. :yikes: THere was a girl I had some classes with in college who'd been dating her boyfriend for about three weeks when they suddenly decided to get married right away. When asked why everything was so rushed, she siad, "We both have been really tempted by lust lately and we know that God wouldn't let us be tempted beyond what we can handle, so he must want ust to get marrried immediately." :huh:
 
redkat said:
I know a couple that waited till married but they didn't wait till their reception I think they found a closet somewhere after the ceremony. They seriously are the most "active" couple I know.
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:)


I think that is great, and people should realize that it can be that way. I hear a lot of people complain that sex drops out once marriage begins, but I think people just get lazy and don't make it work. If you can make time to make love to your love, then that is your fault.

But ... waiting till marriage... has become increasingly appealing to me... I don't know, I realize now I am one of those "one and only" types. And if I could just do it with one person forever, I wouldn't regret it at all. I might end up doing it forever with that one person, then, but hey, that would be fine too. Hahaha.
 
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u2bonogirl said:
But I had an emotional connection with my guy, and got to know him on a really deep level before I even saw him. That makes a huge difference
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I don't mean to pry, but, if you could elaborate a little I would be much obliged. I think I may be in a slightly similar situation, though I haven't had sex yet. But the fact that you got to know him deeply before you saw him is ... reminicent... of my sitaution.


But that might explain why even thoughts about sex are so different now, because there is a lot of emotional involvement on both parties....
 
meegannie said:


Sounds like where I grew up. I was an old maid at 20 becasue I wasn't married or even engaged yet. :yikes: THere was a girl I had some classes with in college who'd been dating her boyfriend for about three weeks when they suddenly decided to get married right away. When asked why everything was so rushed, she siad, "We both have been really tempted by lust lately and we know that God wouldn't let us be tempted beyond what we can handle, so he must want ust to get marrried immediately." :huh:
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I hope they can use that inspartion to keep the marriage flame alive years from now... :huh:


But really, I don't think a working marriage has much to do with sex at all. Sex may indicate how well you two interact and communicate (communication... it's not a dirty word - Bono, Kite, U2 Go Home!). So perhaps in a really good "working marriage" relationship, sex could be very good since they key elements are there. And there are different kinds of chemistry, too. Some people are good for business, some for sex, some for love, some as friends.


Some people like emotional commitments and such, and some don't. So I guess the real question is


What does marriage mean to you?


After you find out, then worry about waiting in regard to sex.
 
Techie2000 said:
Honestly, I don't know what my views on this are. I've seen many good arguements on both sides.
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I suppose I really don't have any real credibility since I am still a virgin, but, really, I think you can tell. I'm pretty good at reading and recognizing traits in people, but I'm sure someone's sensuality isn't really that hard to see.


I know a girl who is... really.. just... totally sexual and talks about it all the time, and yes, is not a virgin. Unfortunately, she's made the mistake about associating sex with an external method to feel good about yourself..... She is easily addicted to things.... but that is another story for another thread.....
 
Like all things sex must be in balance.

However I think it is still taken too seriously. I don't understand how virgins can form an educated opinion on sex. THEY'VE NEVER HAD IT!

Basically sex is like food. Don't indulge, but have enough to satisfy your appetite. Don't go for fats, but have a taste different dishes and flavours. Oh and don't let a rump steak rape you. Always be careful.

If it turns out you don't like sex, go back to being a virgin. Who's gonna know?
 
Obviously, this is an interesting topic for me, as you can see by my previous posts. I went through most of this thread and read what was said.




For my own personal beleifs......

It is so much, as anitram said, (I believe), dependant upon who you are. Ideally, you should find someone who you are compatible with in what you think marriage is/should be about. THe old "expectations".

But personally, this is how I feel: I didn't believe in love. I met someone, and I love her. I realize we may not last forever, or work out, but she has inspired a lot in me. She made me realize how much passion I can have for another in that sort of realationship type way. From the first time we spoke - met online, there was a spark, a connection, coincidences, all sorts of things. It was just ... totally different from anything else I have ever experienced. And meeting her really has changed my life.

Secretly, I wish she could be my one and only, and I could marry her, and wait until we were married to have sex. If I could know that she'd be mine in that sort of "forever-y" way, I would wait forever. But... one thing is damn sure - - we a both incredibly sensual people. Maybe it is best that we do not have too much time to spend alone with each other, because maybe we wouldn't be able to resist the temptation.

But for us... there is something always... dreamy, or... ... fantasy-ish.


And you know, I realize, that is sort of childish, to have dreams in that manner. But I don't really care. I ... I didn't think love existed, and now the depths of my passion are astounding me. So who knows. Maybe I should allow myself to dream, and be a kid for once. I've never really hoped for something. But even if I don't get it, it is still something that is worth hoping for, in my opinion.

And I've never been afraid to at least try for something that I thought would be exceptional, exceptionally great.



So, in conclusion I guess....

Waiting for marriage? I likely will. However, if I find someone that I truly love and care about and know that I will care about forever, then if... things... come up, I don't know how much I would be able to resist. I'm one of those, (for better or worse), people who relates real, passionate sex to love.

Sex to satisfy a simple craving is alright. I can respect it.
But...
Something about trying for the more grand is appealing to me.


I mean.... I don't know..........

wouldn't you want to be someone's dream?
For me, someone's knight in shinning armor?


that is what I would sign up for :| :)
 
Palace_Hero said:
What did I say that isn't true?

You shouldn't go for fat people on a sexual basis.
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I have a mate who 'went with' an overly large lady, JUST to see what it was like....



....he said he wouldnt be going there again!:ohmy:
 
redkat said:


You know what they say a carpenter never does any work for his own wife:wink:
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Fuck about I get it now. Its late.

I'd be best off not doing any work, who knows the stuff she'd be swimming with from her profession. :love:

u2bonogirl, I think I get the vague snide remark you made there, but its ok because your pic makes me randy.
 
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