reflecting on with or without you

[popsadie]

A reflection I made this morning on WOWY...not sure if this is in the right section....

I know that the grand majority of u2 fans have viewed WOWY as a love song, but I have always seen it as a spiritual song. Actually, two days ago I saw it as both. I realized that my spiritual struggle and my relationship struggle were more similar than different. Both involved trust and my ability and willingness to surrender. My simultaneous fear and desire to submit to God is quite similar to my desire to love and submit to my husband and an accompanying feeling that I could lose my self and my identity in the process.

I have read through interpretations of this song in the past and have noticed that they only see this song as having two characters. Most interpretations seem to see the "you" and "she" as the same thing, but I have never understood this. The thorn twists in the side of the "you" while the "she" has him with nothing to win. The "you" is portrayed as someone who "gives his/herself away" while the "she" ties his hands and puts him on an ironic bed of nails. To me, the "you" is a self sacrificing, loving character while the "she" is a self, lustful, tempting, but ultimately destroying character. Caught in between the two is the narrator.

I think I started crying two days ago because I saw myself as the narrator in this song. In both my relationship with Christ and my husband I find myself daily fighting the "she's" in my life and in my heart. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude and love to God or my husband and find the she's weakened in my life, but sometimes the "she's" seem more real. Sometimes the temptation to depend on money or the applause of man seems stronger than the sacrificial love I know Christ extends for me. Sometimes my prior dreams and my desire for independence seem stronger than my desire to do what I can to love those I dearly desire to.

With or without you...I can't Live with or without you. I think this is true. One cannot serve two masters...I can not serve myself and my fantasies and truly love others. I cannot live in the flesh and live in the spirit. One must die. Recently I read in Galatians 5-24 "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there". I know that this is ultimately true....but there is a part of me that is afraid of it....choosing crucifixion was not easy for Christ to do. He knew that it ultimately had to be done, but also asked his father if He could "take this cup away from him". My sinful nature knows not what love is....only fear and the constant search to devour...yet is seems better equipped to deal with this evil and faithless world. Conversely, the tools of love, of God- forgiveness, meekness, humility seem at odds with this selfish world.

So...going back to the song...what seems to be the final choice made by the narrator? Although this ending is not on the recorded version, most live versions end with "we'll shine like the stars in the summer night...we'll shine like the stars in the winter light...one heart, one hope one love" This tells me, that in the songs struggle between long term love and temptation, that love wins out. May I persevere so that my story ends that way too...and that the stories of those I love end that way.

 

[Trinity3000]

Wow thanks for that, very insightful.

 

[kingofsorrow]

i have never made the mistake of thinking WOWY was a lovesong. and thanks for "your" insight into the song.

 

[U2isthebest]

That is amazing. I've always looked at WOWY as both a song to God and to one's partner. Bono talks about it that way in U2 by U2 as well. I don't have my book currently; I was letting some family borrow it. I'll try and paraphrase. Bono talked about the song being born of a struggle after he and Ali married to either choose domesticity or the life of a musician. He thought he would eventually have to choose between the 2. Choosing his relationship would mean betraying the gift and calling he believed God had given him. Choosing his gift would mean betraying the relationship he believed God had given him. He also talked about the spiritual tension he was going through as he tried to reconcile his life as a potential rock star with his life as a Believer. He said it's about having (and I do remember this quote because I loved and identified with it) "a heart to know God, but a head to know the world. ....a rock star who likes to run amok and a sinner who knows he needs to repent." He thought these contradictions would ruin his life, but he realized without them, he wouldn't be who he is, and he wouldn't be who he had been called to be. That is why I love him so much: sheer honesty.

 

[blm]

Bono has a gift with words, from witty to wise, he expresses his beliefs and ideas so eloquently.
Such an interesting man......

 

[socceroo]

To me initially the song seemed to be about likening a relationship to a drug addicted couple - the thorn twist was the needle & the tied hands the torniquet. She gave herself way - prostituting for drugs.
Now I see the Ali & long distance relationship thing (painful situation analogy) & perhaps the Biblical Jesus/thorns simile. Giving yourself away might even refer to Mary Magdaline.
Anyway this song has grown on me the most over the long years & is the goosebump one for me live.

 

[PhoenixGNX]

I'll agree with Bono on this one that 'With Or Without You' is about the "the violence of love".

 

[BonoFox1]

I love that U2 has songs that can mean different things tgo different people...

 

[BonoVOX40]

I absolutely love this song as well. I have that book "Into the heart" which tells what the lyrics mean (a lot from interviews directly with the band) I vaguely remember Bono talking about how with his lyric writing often he will jump between perspectives like when he begins singing "and you give yourself away" he's actually talking about himself, while throughout the other parts of the song he is talking about love between people I think, also I think he said there is a part in there about God. My dad told me they were very leery to publish this because it destroys personal perspectives of the song (just as I might have now). Don't know where he got that info considering he never reads articles on them or anything, prob just something he heard on the radio. Hope I helped a little...

 

[blm]

I thought I heard an interpretation of it that was Bono and his fans/audience. That he couldn't give as much to his fans, as they want to give him (their adoration and love). He would sometimes feel that he let them down (or might). And that he was torn between domestic life and his love for Ali and family,and being on the road, and being available to people and needing to have their approval and love . Don't remember any more than that, though.

 

[BonoVOX40]

It seems like it's very relevant, For me, and i'm pretty young, songs i've written 5 years ago mean different things as time has passed, the routes are still there (the frustration with something ((faith, love+woman)) but as time passes you might relate it to something more recent (but I don't know what era your info comes from) and that's just my song habits, everyone's diff. But you've def. got good relations there, and his songs are so hard to analyze cause' there from SO many different perspectives, but it only makes it that much better... lol, when I was in 8th grade...I used to think "Still haven't found what i'm looking for" was about women...as I found Christianity...matured...well we can all just laugh at that take care Dave

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

I always thought the "and you give yourself away" part was referring to revealing something about you that you didn't want to reveal.

And like I posted on another thread "Sleight of hand and a twist of fate" sounds like some sort of decit from his lover, especially with how it's follwed up by "on a bed of nails she makes me wait."

I think it does go hand in hand with "Sweetest Thing" with how he suffers with this person but can't seem to let go. And even though she is hurtful to him he still stays and thus "giving himself away" to someone who doesn't deserve his love.