Profundis

[scatteroflight]

The silence is a falling silence here
through the endless fathoms down
eyes tilted, palms down, through the melting ether

Port sunlight is below
round and swaying on the ocean floor
the grail of hope
in this place of loss
and death in the dead green water

Swimming down to the light
rather than up
away from landlocked memories
of pushing your way through nothing
and darkness without form or content
and bittersick love

Below is port sunlight
the window of solidity
which may or may not yield to the outstretched hand
and dissolve into liquid light

Something is waiting
through that golden gap in time and space
something to kill all fear and human emotion

It waits
through the gap
in light

----
I wrote this about 2 1/2 years ago but I still like it more than a lot of the poems I've written. I'm in a bit of a dry spell now but I've been jotting down random lines that come to me, so I hope something more complete comes soon.


------------------
So wind blow through to my heart
So wind blow through my soul

 

[Flood & The Mercury Acid]

the window of solidity
which may or may not yield to the outstretched hand
and dissolve into liquid light

Something is waiting
through that golden gap in time and space
something to kill all fear and human emotion

so you have been able to write like this for quite some time it seems... your metaphors and imagery are so incredibly vivid here...

there is one thing I am curious about though, did you change much of this from how you wrote it originally? I have a difficult time resisting the urge to alter things I have written, although I admit that once I post them here, I don't alter them for whatever reason, I guess because I feel like they are done and the moment I was in when I wrote them is gone, it's weird maybe? It may seem silly, but I almost feel like once I have shown them they are words you can't take back (not that I would want to, but you know what I mean, I feel like they are out there and that's that... kinda like a song that's released to the public)

--------
lovers form dead excuse
and blur the line with soul abuse
my lonesome lines just have no use around here
let me give the world to you my love
cause in my grief i'd forgotten what was mine



[This message has been edited by Flood & The Mercury Acid (edited 11-07-2001).]

 

[zooropamanda]

scatter u truly are a beautiful poet
that was gorgeous

 

[scatteroflight]

I didn't alter it at all, not this time, anyway. Usually when I write poems, I don't do drafts. It's happened, but not usually. As a rule, I write the poem, then change a line or two and a few words, and that's it. I often feel I should actually do more revision and that I should be less happy with what comes out first. I don't know. Poems come out in interesting ways, though. I often come up with the first lines and the last lines, and then the middle ends up kind of weak because I feel like I'm producing filler to go inbetween. One of my favourite poems that I've written came out in a very interesting way. What later became the last line popped into my head one day when I was driving. I wrote it down after I parked. A bit later--days, weeks?--I wrote two more lines which came before the original line and made it a stanza. Then I sat down one day and wrote a whole bunch of lines and stanzas. I discovered that they were out of order--I assembled them like a jigsaw puzzle--then they made sense. It was quite strange.

Thanks for the kind words, that was probably more than you wanted to know

------------------
So wind blow through to my heart
So wind blow through my soul

[This message has been edited by scatteroflight (edited 11-07-2001).]

 

[BabyGrace]

eyes tilted, palms down, through the melting ether...

the grail of hope
in this place of loss
and death in the dead green water...

Below is port sunlight
the window of solidity
which may or may not yield to the outstretched hand
and dissolve into liquid light

Something is waiting
through that golden gap in time and space
something to kill all fear and human emotion

It waits
through the gap
in light


sheesh I might as well quote the whole thing..

scattero, i wish i could say something here that would express how this poem makes me feel but I can't..
let me just say that this is some of the best imagery I've read in quite awhile.
thanks so much for sharing

------------------
but for the grace of love I'd will the meaning of heaven from above...