[As the two women gaze silently at the pants, smiling and in awe...the discobooos suddenly begins to shake and rattle....]
Boom! crash! bang bang bang! ramalamadingdong!! KaBOOOOOM!!!
Hippy: What the hell was that??
Eliz: Watch your mouth!
Hippy: Sorry! What the feck was that!
Eliz: Better. Huh. I don't know what that was about. Should we go investigate?
Hippy: NAH. The 'booos will be fine. Let's go for the paaaants.....
[Hippy begins to rise and tries to step forward toward the pants in the window BUT-]
a voice:
WAIT!!!
Hippy: HEY! I can't move!
Eliz: Uhhh....Hippy....
[Eliz, staring behind them at the 'booos, taps Hippy on the shoulder. Hippy turns. Both women are in shock.]
Hippy: Holy sh-
Eliz: Yeaaahhh-
Hippy: It's-
Eliz: HIM.
Adam: Yes. It is I.
Hippy: Listen to his mastery of grammer...
Eliz: Duuuude.....
[Adam, clad in his sexiest pair of pants, hovers a few inches above the ground, surrounded by a cloud of extreme sexiness.]
Hippy: Umm, Adam? Is that you?
Adam: Almost. I am the spirit of Adam's pants. I have come to warn you.
Eliz: To warm me??? SWEET! I was feeling a little chilly!!! YES!
[Eliz jumps up and runs toward Adam, arms outstretched. Hippy struggles to run, too, but finds herself still glued to the ground.]
Adam: wait wait wait-
[Eliz, too far gone to listen, runs straight at him and passes through him, smacking the discoboooos face first. She falls backwards on to the ground. Hippy laughs, then covers her mouth. Then laughs again.]
Adam: I
said I'm a spirit!!
Hippy: Hey spirit of Adam's Pants, a little help here? I'm still frozen?
Adam: Sorry.
[Hippy is released and walks casually over to Adam. As she passes him, she tosses her head and her looong brown hair whips through his spirit form.
Woo hoo! she thinks.]
Hippy: C'mon eliza. Get up.
Eliz: I'm fine, I'm fine. No biggie. Do it all the time. It's a stunt I'm working on.
[Hippy exchanges a knowing look with Adam. Woo hoo! she thinks again. We shared a knowing look!]
Hippy: Ahem. Now, you said you were here to warn us?
Adam: Yes! Those pants you see before you are FALSE! They are not the true pants. You must keep searching!
Eliz: NOOOO! We have searched so far already! Spirit of Adam's Pants, GUIDE US! Help us! All we want is one pair to share! Do you have a pair to spare? It's what a girl wants, what a girl needs! A pair to share on a cold and lonely niiight!
Hippy: GAH! Debbie Gibson??? That is sooo low.
Eliz: I'm desparate!
Adam: Apparently. However, I cannot grant your request right now. You must search for some time longer. But consider, perhaps you should search not only in stores, but somewhere more intangible...someplace you can't reach in the Discoboooos....somewhere like...
Eliz: Like the internet??
[Hippy rolls eyes. Adam looks just as disgusted.]
Hippy: Didn't you tell me you went to
graduate school???
Eliz: Huh?
Adam: ANYWAY. I meant, searching for the pants is also a spiritual journey. There may be a time when you discover that no matter how far you travel, the pants will be waiting where you started...
Eliz: YOU MEAN THEY'RE IN PITTSBURGH?? get on the boooos hippeeee!!! COME ON!!!
[Eliz runs to the bus door which is unfortunately shut. She smacks face first again and stumbles back. She then opens the door and runs in.]
Adam: What is her
problem?
Hippy: She's overwhelmed by the pants I guess. Can you blame her? It's hard for some people to remain in control.
Adam: I guess. You seem fine. Aren't you affected by my cloud of sexiness??
Hippy: Well yes, I..I am. Certainly! Umm...I mean...of course. It's a powerful cloud of sexiness. I mean, I just...well, I am pretty cool about these things and I can handle myself. That's all.
Adam: I see. Very admirable. You are very close to the spirit of the pants. Coolness is essential.
Hippy: Well yes...it's something I am just lucky to have, I guess...
Eliz: HIPPEEEE!!! DEAR GOD GET ON THE BOOOS!!
Adam: Go. Join her. Share with her the paths of coolness.
Hippy: I will. I hope we shall meet again.
Adam: Perhaps. Farewell.
[Hippy strolls over to the bus, and tosses her long hair once agains as she looks back at Adam over her shoulder. She begins to board the bus and trips on the first step, falling onto the bus.]
Eliz: BWHAHAHAHHAA! Coolness my ass!!!!
Adam: Keep searching!!! You will both soon find what you seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
[Eliz and Hippy gaze out the window as the spirit of Adam's pants fade into nothing. Eliz jumps off the bus and starts running around and making motions like she's in the shower.]
Hippy: what are you doing now??
Eliz: The cloud of sexiness is still partially here!!!
Hippy: You are SOOO pathetic.
[Hippy watches her bizarre friend then leaps off the bus and showers the cloud of sexiness also.]
Let the spirit of the pants guide you....
[This message has been edited by elizabeth (edited 02-14-2002).]