Stories for Boys
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hey. you know, in all my time on interference, this is my first time in this forum. i wish i would have found it sooner, but it came at a good time. i'd like to say a little about myself and situation and would greatly appreciate if those with different points of view would offer advice of any sort.
my life has been in a "christian reformed church" bubble. i live in the crc jerusalem. my parents raised me conservative crc. i had christian education, and now to go "calvin college." yes, john calvin. required courses here include those about the crc faith, and part of the college's goal is to integrate faith in all areas.
that's my superficial upbringing. now i'll say something about my personal religious upbringing. when i was young, i believed what my parents did, as most children do. the summer before my sophmore year of high school, i was very involved with a charismatic vineyard church. i went to conferences and church there almost every sunday. i mostly went because my best friend did, but i also became friends with a group of people from there. it was such a drastic change from my earlier years that i felt rebellious for going there. i loved it. when they discussed speaking in tongues and being "slain"...it made me uneasy, but i sort of ignored that sort of thing. school came and i forgot about vineyard.
now that i'm in college, the freedoms were the temptation, as they often are. i am not talking about partying or anything like that...rather in that i stopped going to church. i did not lose faith, rather i just sleep in. easy as that. now, in all my classes, i'm often the one to spark an argument about the crc religion simply because some people here are a bit closed minded. it bothers me. i have become close friends with people of very different religions for the first time in my life. this has given me the perspective to pause and think...suddenly it's not so easy to condemn those without my exact doctrine, or that of my parents.
i guess that's what bothers me the most about the crc church. they tend to emphasize theology to the point that they forget about praising god.
now, as to my inquiry:
like i said, i don't go to church. maybe once a month i go to a chapel here which consists of praise songs and a speaker. i love this time, but mostly i love the praising part. my faith is not yet firm, but my beliefs now are as follows: i believe that god is lord and father of all. he sent his son who died for us. my job in life is to live to the glory of god. all things i do should be in praise and thankfulness.
is it bad that i don't go to church? am i being a luke warm christian that christ so rebuked? where two people are gathered in the name of christ, there too god will be. is discussing faith enough? should i break down and go back to a crc church? it may be difficult to find a church in the area that embraces my beliefs. i'm beginning to distrust my emotional strength on the matter...i don't want to conform to believe what others believe, yet i don't want to be alone in faith.
i guess i'm just struggling. even if you don't respond, it feels good to get that out. i don't feel as if i have anyone here to discuss this with. sorry about the novel.
my life has been in a "christian reformed church" bubble. i live in the crc jerusalem. my parents raised me conservative crc. i had christian education, and now to go "calvin college." yes, john calvin. required courses here include those about the crc faith, and part of the college's goal is to integrate faith in all areas.
that's my superficial upbringing. now i'll say something about my personal religious upbringing. when i was young, i believed what my parents did, as most children do. the summer before my sophmore year of high school, i was very involved with a charismatic vineyard church. i went to conferences and church there almost every sunday. i mostly went because my best friend did, but i also became friends with a group of people from there. it was such a drastic change from my earlier years that i felt rebellious for going there. i loved it. when they discussed speaking in tongues and being "slain"...it made me uneasy, but i sort of ignored that sort of thing. school came and i forgot about vineyard.
now that i'm in college, the freedoms were the temptation, as they often are. i am not talking about partying or anything like that...rather in that i stopped going to church. i did not lose faith, rather i just sleep in. easy as that. now, in all my classes, i'm often the one to spark an argument about the crc religion simply because some people here are a bit closed minded. it bothers me. i have become close friends with people of very different religions for the first time in my life. this has given me the perspective to pause and think...suddenly it's not so easy to condemn those without my exact doctrine, or that of my parents.
i guess that's what bothers me the most about the crc church. they tend to emphasize theology to the point that they forget about praising god.
now, as to my inquiry:
like i said, i don't go to church. maybe once a month i go to a chapel here which consists of praise songs and a speaker. i love this time, but mostly i love the praising part. my faith is not yet firm, but my beliefs now are as follows: i believe that god is lord and father of all. he sent his son who died for us. my job in life is to live to the glory of god. all things i do should be in praise and thankfulness.
is it bad that i don't go to church? am i being a luke warm christian that christ so rebuked? where two people are gathered in the name of christ, there too god will be. is discussing faith enough? should i break down and go back to a crc church? it may be difficult to find a church in the area that embraces my beliefs. i'm beginning to distrust my emotional strength on the matter...i don't want to conform to believe what others believe, yet i don't want to be alone in faith.
i guess i'm just struggling. even if you don't respond, it feels good to get that out. i don't feel as if i have anyone here to discuss this with. sorry about the novel.