but you forgot the british part!
drunk #1: we need batteries
drunk #2: let's go find a gift shop
*drunks wander through lobby*
drunk #2: we need the kind of gift shop that sells
stuff
drunk #1: yesss.
*drunks approach man*
drunk #1: excuse me, do you know if there's a little shop in here...you know, like, a little shop that sells sundries and such?
man:
drunk #2: we need double A batteries.
man: OH, right over there!
drunk #2: I'M SUUUUUUURE did you just say sundries and such??? what the fuck is this now, LONDON??
*drunk #1 doubles over with laughter, pees pants a bit*
drunk #2 IN MOCK-BRITISH: 'ello, do you have a lit-uhl shop that sells sundries and such?
*repeats until...*
*drunk #1 pees more, can't breathe*