I am reluctant to post this because its personal and I don't want to reveal too much but I gotta speak out somehow.
My parents have been married for 42 years. Sounds like an accomplishment but its really nothing to be proud of because it hasn't been a happy marriage. It's mainly my dad's fault. He's verbally and emotionally abusive, controlling, possessive and manipulative - especially with my mom who lets him walk all over her. She's aware that he does those things to her, but either blames herself for his behavior or makes excuses or makes lame comebacks.
It really saddens me to hear or see my mom blame herself or make excuses. She taught me and my sisters not to let a man hurt us, yet she allows my dad to hurt her. Why can't she walk the walk?
My parents just got back from a vacation and it was a lousy one. They are barely talking now and my mom is pissed off because of how my dad controlled her and insulted her during those two weeks. But the sad thing is she won't do anything. She'll stay mad for a few more days then shrug it off and act like nothing happened.
Its moments like this that I wish I could talk my mother into throwing my dad out of the house. But she won't. I suspect she stays married out of fear of being alone.
I don't necessarily live with my parents. My house is a two family with an apartment on the lower level and I live there. So, I have my own space in the house. But I hear them argue a lot. The other day they woke me up they were screaming so loud.
This has been going on for years, but it has gotten worse over the last 5 years. I do not look to my parents' marriage as a model for any relationship I get into. There's nothing there to admire.
OK, I got this off my chest. If anyone has any ideas on how to cope with this, feel free to let me know.
My parents have been married for 42 years. Sounds like an accomplishment but its really nothing to be proud of because it hasn't been a happy marriage. It's mainly my dad's fault. He's verbally and emotionally abusive, controlling, possessive and manipulative - especially with my mom who lets him walk all over her. She's aware that he does those things to her, but either blames herself for his behavior or makes excuses or makes lame comebacks.
It really saddens me to hear or see my mom blame herself or make excuses. She taught me and my sisters not to let a man hurt us, yet she allows my dad to hurt her. Why can't she walk the walk?
My parents just got back from a vacation and it was a lousy one. They are barely talking now and my mom is pissed off because of how my dad controlled her and insulted her during those two weeks. But the sad thing is she won't do anything. She'll stay mad for a few more days then shrug it off and act like nothing happened.
Its moments like this that I wish I could talk my mother into throwing my dad out of the house. But she won't. I suspect she stays married out of fear of being alone.
I don't necessarily live with my parents. My house is a two family with an apartment on the lower level and I live there. So, I have my own space in the house. But I hear them argue a lot. The other day they woke me up they were screaming so loud.
This has been going on for years, but it has gotten worse over the last 5 years. I do not look to my parents' marriage as a model for any relationship I get into. There's nothing there to admire.
OK, I got this off my chest. If anyone has any ideas on how to cope with this, feel free to let me know.