my grandfather is fucked in the head

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I read this to my younger sister who is terminally ill. I haven't heard her laugh so much for many, many months, so thankyou, Brush :hug:. I hope your grandad is okay and hasn't done anything too scary recently. Do keep us updated!
 
Okay, I was giggling through this whole thread but the bug story just about made me pee my pants. Your gramps sounds like a head case, but a cool head case. :cool:

I know he must make you nuts sometimes, but think of all the great stories and memories you'll have after he's gone. :)
 
I love the fact that this thread continues....people are really interested in Grandpa's idiosynchasies and habits. I love the internet !:up:
 
okay.......he is outside as we speak shoveling. i was like shit i should go help him. i look outside .25 of an inch. i can see the fucking ground through the snow.
 
you all want an update..........................well i was picking up the front lawn the other day(paper and stuff like that) and i look in the flower bed. you know the one with the trophy's in it. and i see a picture(drawing) of a dog taking a shit with a red circle and a line through it.(like a no smoking sign). thats embarrasing............so i was like alright i will let that go.....................but you all are starting to know me and i could not let this oppourtunity pass by. so i retorted. i went into his bathroom and drew a picture of a man pissisng(very cartooning and not graphic, PG rated) and i drew him missing the toilet and pissing on the floor. and i drew the same red circle with the line through it on it.i thought this was funny and i knew it would piss him off. but it backfired. he likes the sign. he said "thats a good idea, that way if company comes over they know were not to piss."
i couldn't tell if he was joking so i said "yea, i was confused myself and have been pissing in the sink and shiting in the tub" and he just stared and shook his head
 
here's another that i cant believe i did not post. day after christmas. he was watching the news on the tsunami when i came down stairs. he says did you here about the sa-sami."

i just look at him i dont know if the t at the beginning threw him off.

i reply "yea its 5.39 a pound at the deli, that aint bad"

"NO" he says. " the su-sami it killed over 100,000 people"

i say "well yea, besides pastrami it is probably the saltiest of the deli meats. that shit will kill you"

i should note i kept a completely straight face during this

"NO NO NO NO NO its a wave of water "

"well there is water in most food but a wave, no your just getting ridiculus"

he says "im ridiculus................." he starts ranting and raving. i sat down to humor him and watched the news with him.


i hope no one takes offense by this story. the tsunami was a terrible thing and i dont mean to be an asshole. but i thought it was a funny story.
 
he is the face of evil............the devil sent him from hell to destroy me
Click to expand...

I am laughing out loud!!! Sorry, but you tell your story so well. Hang in there...oldies are so bizarre about some things. I know, I am rapidly approaching.:sad:
 
I love your thread... I emailed it to all my friends and family, including my unfortunate Gran who is ill. She responded and said it made her feel better, which is good. She's fairly nutty but has not taken to labeling things yet!
 
Last edited:
Numb1075 said:
Ok, TheBrush, we need an update:wink:
Click to expand...


yea i have been in phx for a couple weeks ( 2 u2 concerts) and to visit my friend, some good stuff has happened i will fill you all in later tonight


i was actually going to make a

my grandfather is fucked in the head pt dos but this thread lives on

stay tuned
 
okay first off i just want to say phx is an amzing city. u name it me and my buddy did it. While on vacation We went shopping, went to the grand canyon, to Vegas, to see george Carlin, went to a d-backs game. All very cool.

the concert was amazing. for phx one me and my buddy had GA's and during the opener(LAPOE) comes comes right over and stradles the rail and reaches out to people right next to us. so what the fuck we grab onto his hand/forearm while hes singing. quite the experience for my first u2 concert let along song. i got sweet pictures of the edge and bono. but its good to be back home.


as for gramps......well things were pretty normal for a while. well normal for him. he even stopped labaling the bananas. so i knew he must of compensated somewhere. i hear him in the back yard, so i go back there and what do i see....... in the garden there are about 20 bowling balls up on sticks/pegs. its very freaky looking.

also, the mall i work at used to display these huge flags in the parking lot. they took them down and one day during his walks gramps stumbled along the flags near the back of the mall scattered about the place. he fucking brought them home. these are like 10 feet long and like six feet tall. hes polish (i am about half) so he puts the polish one up and the others are just sitting there. i told him him jokingly to alternate them every day.............me and my fucking mouth, hes doing it. he wont put up countries like russia (he still thinks they are going to get us) i told him the cold war is over and the space race kinda slowed a tad...lol.


oh yea i forgot the most freakish thing of them all. his car over 30 years old and still chugging along. first off he painted it with house paint. grey and green......yea baby. the bumper is duct taped on. and there is this huge CB antena on the back


i may have mentioned this before.....i will describe him. imagine a man who looks like sean connery and acts exactly like jack nicholson from as good as it gets and mel gibson from conspiracy theorey. he tapes his conversations with any company and will not give info about himself over phone.......(ie social security number)


in the front garden, i told u guys about the bowling trophy tops in the flower bed, he has added a toy. its a thundercat. needless to say my friends are only allowed over at night.

his worst mistake of all he said that u2 is

RAP CRAP......i was laughing all about the place. although i did play some songs for him and two of them he was kinda tapping his foot to in the car. i've got u under my skin with frank sinatra and bono and stay.


there is more but i need to think of it perhaps a walk to the back yard and to the basement are in order i shall return
 
okay, gramps was cool for the first time in a long time. he made a birdhouse out of old license plates he had. even though i had heard of people doing this before i thought it was neat because he is doing something constructive. the coolness did not last long however. i went into the garage a day or two ago and WTF.......he has like a billion lawnmowers. he has at least 12. old ones too. he has a good one, but he says he takes them (when people throw them out) and likes to fix them. which is fine, i mean it gives him something to do. but i still must repeat how much of a fucked up site it is to see a dozen lawnmowers in a one car garage. he also has two snow blowers, one is a very nice toro. the other seriously has like an eight inch cut(not exagerating).


since things were semi normal, i felt it was my duty to spice things up a bit. Since i know he thinks any guy who has an earing is gay, i decided to push that particular button. now i didnt get an earing, cause he would seriously kick me out of the house. but last night i shaved my beard and dawned the handlebars. i walked downstairs with my new moustache and he did the most freaky looking doubletake i have ever seen.

he looked at me and asked....

"what are u a vevurka?"

vevurka(not sure on spelling) means squirrel in polish. which was him basically asking if i was gay. i started laughing and said

"no gramps, not yet" and started laughing more, i cant keep a straight face around him"

more updates as they become availible

-the brush
 
Wrong! :wink:

You just need to upload it somewhere like photobucket or snapfish, then you just post the link here to the pic here. :yes:
 
Awesome !! The Brush, your grandpa rules ! The bowling ball and flag thing had me in tears.

PS, great to hear about your experience in Phnx.

Tell your grandpa I wanna go out drinking w/ him. I'll make sure to get my ear pierced just for this occasion and I'll have a chain going from my ear to my nose.:wink:

Classic
 
ask and thou shall recieve. pick from two weeks ago from the grand canyon of everyday dan, and one from today of creepy popmart dan..lol



 
Hey, be thankful that your granfather is still relatively normal. My grandma, in her last days after her stroke, now she was something else! Imagine your grandma who has always been very mild and docile, now saying that someone is a dirty mothaf**ker, and her daughter in a law is a f**king whore, and all kinds of mess like that. :| It was serious, but boy did we do some snickering behind her back. I miss that woman.

My grandpa (not related to my grandmother), he had his moments too. After his wife died, he got bad off and tried to kill himself, ended up shooting part of his nose off. So someone had to sit with him at all times. I was there almost everyday. He used to make me play freakin' checkers for HOURS and HOURS. If that wasn't bad enough, he cheated every chance he got, and if I dared call him out on it, I got an ear full. If I won, of course I cheated and he would go ranting and raving about how I did an illegal move. I played checkers so much back then that I will never ever again touch a damn checker board!!

The things we put up with for our grandparents! :wink:
 
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