my brother in law is addicted to coke

[Mofo]

fuck...so today...or yesterday my sister found out her husband is addicted to coke since he was 18, he is 30. They been married for a year and a half and she basically moved to another continent leaving her family behind. My sister is the most modest, simple person you could ever meet, you'd never catch her saying anything bad about anyone and if anything is the type of person I aspire to be and probably never get to be, she doesnt deserve this and eventhough her husband's family has been 100% supportive she feels completely alone

I'm so pissed of right now, so thanks for letting me vent since she want's to keep it private and I won't be able to tell anyone, god it's been years since I last cried and it really sucks.....

 

[Angela Harlem]

Is he seeking help?

 

[Cin]

what an asshole.

people have addictions but this is waaaay to big to keep from his girlfriend/wife.

 

[Mofo]

Is he seeking help?

yeah he is going into some kind of treatment for 2 months and apparently doctors/psychiatrists have recommended him not to work for a year, he has a very successful business and has running it for at least 5 years that I know of, this last year his younger brother started working with him so I gues he will run things for a while..

 

[Mofo]

what an asshole.

people have addictions but this is waaaay to big to keep from his girlfriend/wife.

I won't make excuses for him, would he be living in the same city as I, I would beat the crap out of him for hurting my sister, but he is truly a good guy, hard working, and very responsible, I mean no one in his family knew about it, apparently the youngest brother started having his suspicions when he started seeing him on a daily basis. But for fuck sakes 12 years using this crap!! I still don't know all the details how often he took it, his parents and my sister think that it was mainly to keep up with work and stress but God only knows...

He got along great with my parents, me and my brother, the rest of my family our friends who went to the wedding, everyone, it's truly a shock to all of us

 

[BVS]

I don't want to sound insensitive but how is someone addicted to coke that long and no one notice?

You aren't a constant user for 12 years without anyone knowing. Now he may have used every once in awhile for 12 years and it just recently became an issue.

Regardless it's a horrible situation for your sister to be in. But I'm willing to bet it's something that just escalated recently and that's why no one knew. If this is the case then he has a better chance at recovery and escaping any long term damage physically...

 

[Mofo]

I have no idea...I guess he never used it around his family and was an occasional user, he isn't the type of guy who frequently goes to nightclubs and partys all night long.

My sister has been putting the pieces together...little things here and there...but like I said he was never unreliable, irresponsible at work or family comittments, no debts, only he knows how he managed...

 

[The Disciple]

I'll pray 4 them....

 

[Liesje]

yeah he is going into some kind of treatment for 2 months and apparently doctors/psychiatrists have recommended him not to work for a year, he has a very successful business and has running it for at least 5 years that I know of, this last year his younger brother started working with him so I gues he will run things for a while..

I think he should take that advice. Many people with severe addictions need a very simple job with little stress so that they can work on stress/control/coping issues without having a job that continually sets them back and often causes them to relapse.

Sure, it's strange it went on so long and nothing was done, but the important thing is that he comes clean now and stays in treatment...

 

[Mofo]

thanks disciple...

liesje I think a year is a lot, but then again I have no idea what it feels like to be addicted to something. My mother is flying to Spain in the next few days to be with my sister, hopefully that will cheer her up a bit

 

[DaveC]

I don't want to sound insensitive but how is someone addicted to coke that long and no one notice?

You aren't a constant user for 12 years without anyone knowing. Now he may have used every once in awhile for 12 years and it just recently became an issue.

Regardless it's a horrible situation for your sister to be in. But I'm willing to bet it's something that just escalated recently and that's why no one knew. If this is the case then he has a better chance at recovery and escaping any long term damage physically...

Agreed, on all fronts.

There's no way someone could be hooked on yayo for 12 years and keep it secret from anybody, even strangers on the street would be able to tell just from looking at him. This has to be something recent, which is good news.

Best of luck to your family

 

[Kiki]

thats good that your mom is flying there to be with your sister.

That's gota be even harder on your sister to have found out so many years later with out a hint of exactly what it was. What a slap in the face kind of a shock too. I'm sorry she's going through this and the best thing I can tell you in regards to the sort of things she's going to go through----she's been through the absolute hardest, but the hard times aren't going to be over yet.

I dealt with similar problems last year with my husband. I knew it was coming to a head where the story would break, etc. so I had some warning. I can't imagine being in your sisters situation though.

They don't have any children yet, do they? I'm just wondering because I can only imagine how that would make things even harder on both your sister, the kids, and your brother in law.

I also don't mean to sound like an idiot here, but maybe it's a tiny bit of a glimmer of hope or encouragement that your brother in law was able to keep this ---under control----for lack of better wording, and not let anyone know exactly what he was dealing with. Now that it's out in the open maybe that's a sign of encouragement that he's hit the breaking point, he knows how horrible this is, he knows what this has, is, and could do to his wife, family, job, etc.
Plus, if he's willing to get help or has asked for help, that's a HUGE step.

I hope they encourage your sister to talk to a counselor or a support group too. At least with a support group she'll be able to see she's not alone in the world and she may be able to start her own recovery of how to and not to deal with this.

I'm praying for you and your family and your brother in laws family.

 

[Mofo]

Kiki actually my mother isn't flying there anymore, probably in December, my sister called and said that due to work she wasn't going to be around the house and she's being getting major support from her husband's family she's hanging in there, yesterday I talked to her and looks like she is doing a bit better.

Apparentley he did have his addiction under some control, he didn't use it frequentley, and he's being doing ok in rehab, he will be "released" until January

And they will all be going to counseling, my sister, him, his parents, and even his brothers and sister, anyone who want's to come into contact with him will have to attend some type of counseling

Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers

 

[Carek1230]

I am really sorry to hear this. I will keep your brother in law and family in my prayers that he can find the strength to kick the addiction.