Oh I loves me a good old fashioned rant. You do yours while I type mine. Deal?
Fuckin' deal hell yes please.
Okay, so, so fuck, I was like, I was on the fucking O-BAHN coming back from spending way too long at a mate's place doing absolutely nothing (well, we got some Domino's and watched some idol performances by that poxy fat drama guy they've got now, so it wasn't a complete waste) and so I'm all on a motherfucking bus that goes straight through the CBD to the southern suburbs near where I live, so I was just expecting a pretty relaxing warm evening cruise in which I could ponder about the day's earlier activities (i.e. going to youtube with the sole purpose of rewatching Australian Idol performances; having a brisk stroll at Glenelg), and that was really great and all, if a bit boring. Then we stop on King William St. and these two girls rocked up on the bus amongst another large group... one I originally thought was someone who did the same art course as me, and the last thing anyone wants to do is talk to someone who took the same course as them, so I wasn't looking forward to that. However, things were considerably worse than that.
These girls were loud, obnoxious and swore all over the fucking place, in public, in a bus nearly full of people. I was sitting in the second to last row, and they decided to sit right fucking behind me, and they were complaining on how the bus smelt, and they fucking smelt like alcohol and sweat, and it was DISGUSTING.
THESE FUCKING GIRLS. It was impossible not to eavesdrop because they were louder than Jeremy Clarkson crashing an Aston Martin into a caravan. They were fucking drunk! And when the bus sided up next to a police van at the stoplights in Vic square/Tarndanyangga, they were all like
"oooooh shit haha! I'm breaking like two laws right now!"
"I'm banned from Noarlunga because of theft! Even though I'm meant to do TAFE in Noarlunga, those bitches!"
"That's super gay! Those fuckers are super gay!"
"I know, so gay. They got like secret agents looking for me. Super gay."
All this while they both periodically coughed on my neck, without covering their hands. Shit doesn't seem like it can get any worse... UNTIL ANOTHER ONE JOINS THEM AND SITS NEXT TO ME
OH MY GOD
"Hey guys, oh hey [this one grrl's name], do you think you could get some trips for me from [this one dealer's name] sometime?" It was around this time I learned that the girl with the dealer friend who had been drinking goon and pre-mixed pina coladas since 3pm in the Adelaide CBD was the ripe old age of 14, and I have no doubt she was puffing on some Winnie Blues while doing so. She was just one of those 14 year olds that could probably pass for 18. Then she started to recount some of her hilarious acid experiences, really loudly and swearing a lot, and how it's so cool to get crunk and smoke durries, and that she's
soooo sick of this one guy she knows doing morphine all the time and it hella bothers her, but fuck his problems and shit, and all the while reminding us all that she's! four! teen! and wow I'm 14 and I'm doing all this crazy shit, I'm so fucking cool! My parents don't even check on me until like 2am so I break my curfew ev-e-ry night! and after I got off at my bus stop I started ranting about them to my brother because THESE GIRLS,
THESE GODDAMN FUCKING GIRLS.
FUCK YOUR FUCKING PRE-MIXED PINA COLADAS, YOU LOUD, SLAGGY BITCHES.