IO: I live under a bridge

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My talk of IKEA tool sets was a logical segue to your discussion of the band Tool because the band's name is Tool, which is a word also included in the phrase "IKEA tool sets."
 
As far as wine goes, I was always a big fan of grapes and was shocked to hear wine was made from grapes, so I bought some wine to see how it compared to the taste of grapes and I didn't like it as much as I had hoped or as much as I like grapes.
 
I remember reading The Grapes of Wrath in high school. I didn't understand it so I went and bought some grapes and got really mad at them but it didn't help. Many years later, I tried to re-read the book, this time on tape, but no matter how long I stared at the tape, I couldn't really read it properly.
 
I once was going out to get some ice cream late at night and I was going to miss my favorite late night talk show, so I decided I would tape it. And I came home and was eating my ice cream, and I played the tape and it hadn't taped at all because I forgot to turn the VCR to channel three. It was disappointing. I'll bet Craig Ferguson was funny that night. The ice cream was good, though.
 
That sounds similar to another time I wanted to watch Mighty Boosh DVDs so I bought some over the internet and had them shipped to me under my bridge but for some reason they wouldn't play in my DVD player, which I use to play my DVDs. I tried to find out why on the internet and apparently the DVDs can't be used on American DVD players because they can only be used on European DVD players.
 
Do you remember the time I bought that Europe DVD, from their concert in Sweden? Because it was taking place in Sweden I thought I needed to speak Swedish so I bought a Swedish to English dictionary but the DVD was in English so I didn't need the Swedish to English dictionary, just the regular dictionary.
 
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I had a tatoo of a wild turkey, and then it changed it's name to Paramus

No spoken words said:
I once visited Woodbridge, NJ because they have a mall there. Before that I shopped in the Paramus mall but I wanted to try another mall so I went to the mall in Woodbridge.
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phillyfan26 said:
I used to live near Woodbridge, New Jersey. I do not now, but I did when you visited Woodbridge, New Jersey. You should have told me that you were there. It's too late now because I do not live near there anymore and also you aren't visiting there anymore.
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I used to live near Paramus, New Jersey. I do not now, but I did when you visited Paramus, New Jersey. You should have told me that you were there. It's too late now because I do not live near there anymore and also you aren't visiting there anymore.

I think you should have purchased a book about Paramus in the mall because you were in the mall in paramus and liked the mall in paramus and wanted to learn more about paramus, a city of malls.
 
I tried to buy a book about Paramus but accidentally bought Aramis cologne for my dog because my dog smells like poop and Aramis sounds like Paramus so it was confusing but it made my dog smell nice at the time because it was cologne.
 
The next day, I was walking my dog, and he barked at some kids. I told him to stop that (barking at the kids).
 
I like to watch movies with partners. Last week I really wanted to see a movie in theaters. I could not find a partner. I still went to the movie, even though I didn't have anyone to go with. Movie theater food's expensive.
 
I'm actually about to go see the informant. I was going to go alone but I'm winding up going with a partner because someone wanted to come with me, so now I'm not going alone. I also heard the original story the informant was based on and would like to see if the movie measures up to that story since I already know it and enjoy it quite a bit.
 
I once went to a Snow concert, because I like his music. I had bought his album and was wondering if the songs sounded as bomb diggity'd out in person as they did through my speakers because I like the songs and wanted to know if I'd like them more so I went to the concert.
 
Diemen said:
As an employee of IKEA I know that there is an IKEA store in Woodbridge, Virginia
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OMG i have totally been to this IKEA several times because i occasionally like to shop at IKEA and there is a store located in Woodbridge, Virginia, which isn't too far from where i live in Arlington, Virginia, because they are both in Northern Virginia and so i shop at that IKEA because i like IKEA and it isn't far from me although sometimes it's just as convenient to go to the IKEA in College Park, Maryland, because of the Beltway traffic and i don't like traffic and in both places i always get the meatballs and almond cake though i buy different furniture each time.
 
I tried watching Middle Men on AMC but then I realized it was called Mad Men and I didn't really want to watch that because I don't like when people get mad so I couldn't watch Mad Men.
 
I heard that it was called Mad Men, and not middle men - which I bet would be like Malcolm in the middle, only with men - because the Mad Men worked on Madison Street in New York City. I think this is true.
 
I remember reading "The Bridges of Madison County" and wanting to visit Madison County but I didn't have a map so I could not find Madison County and instead ate a pint of Dolly Madison vanilla ice cream to console myself because ice cream makes me feel better so I felt better after eating the ice cream.
 
I've been around this block twice now. Looking for something. A clue. I've been looking for clues and something led me back here. Yeah. So here I am. It could have been me, the one who was at Ringo's place when the shit went down. Hey. I know how it is. I've been there. We've all done bad things. We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart. I'm going to take your brain out of your head and wash it and scrub it and make it clean. I don't know. But I'm going to have to settle this. First we're going to check the hole and see what we can find. We're going to get nice and wet, and you're going to spread your legs. Oh, that's good. So you know me. You know my reputation. Thirteen inches of tough load, I don't treat you gently. That's right. I'm Brock Landers. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where the fuck is Ringo?
 
Irvine511 said:
OMG i have totally been to this IKEA several times because i occasionally like to shop at IKEA and there is a store located in Woodbridge, Virginia, which isn't too far from where i live in Arlington, Virginia, because they are both in Northern Virginia and so i shop at that IKEA because i like IKEA and it isn't far from me although sometimes it's just as convenient to go to the IKEA in College Park, Maryland, because of the Beltway traffic and i don't like traffic and in both places i always get the meatballs and almond cake though i buy different furniture each time.
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As a former resident of the Woodbridge area, I too frequented this IKEA, because I like IKEA's $0.99 eggs. I like eggs, spending $0.99, and I like IKEA, so it was like a gangbang of joy for me. The next time I go to IKEA in Woodbrige, VA, I will eat their eggs because they are only $0.99.
 
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