feeling guilty for being happy

[LoveTown]

Well it's a gorgeous day here, the sun is shining, Im listening to U2 and I just got 2 tickets for the tour on ticketmaster after giving up on ever seeing the band again.......

but as I noticed the date today I felt guilty for being so happy. Eight years ago today my cousin died.

I guess I don't want anything out of this thread other than to remember him in a public place.

Rest in peace, Bill. You were and are loved even though you didn't know it.


Parents, love your kids no matter what, so they dont ever have to feel alone in the world.

 

[dandy]

 

[lauren430]

 

[carrieluvv]

LT...Im sure Bill would want you to be happy dear.
or should i say dee- ah......

this little old lady mainer who lived next door used to call me dear she pronounced dear like dee-ah

anyway...have fun at the show and congrats on gettin tickets = )

 

[tiny dancer]

 

[LoveTown]

aww thanks everybody... you all made me get misty

 

[LoveTown]

And Carrie, yes, it's sort of like my happy moments in life are lived for him now too because he died so young....2 months before his 21st birthday so I know he would want me to live my life to the fullest.

heh maine accents are fantastic aren't they?

 

[carrieluvv]

yeah ...im starting to say things the way they say em...the mainers...im catching on. i try not to stick out like a sore thumb

anyway..ya know relatives and friends who move on ...as long as you remember them...they are with you.
thats sad about how young he was....when your that age you can fool yourselfinto beliving you have noone and dont need anyone.

 

[LoveTown]

yeah when you are 20 years old and think the world is against you you dont have the life experience to know that most things do get better over time. Or at least your feelings about them will.

It's odd, Bill and I are the same age...well or would be...I was born in april and he was born in june. I got to grow up but he didnt. Sometimes that's a weird feeling.

I'm sure people are wondering what happened....he went on a binge of drinking and stuff ( likely drugs too) because he was very depressed. My aunt and uncle have never offically told people why he died but I knew one of the guys living with him at the time and he says that it was suicide because Bill felt he wasn't loved or accepted by anybody. Especially by his parents. The roomate also said that Bill was gay and was struggling with that and that is why he got so depressed, he knew his father would never accept a gay son.

So...that's why I urged parents to love their kids no matter what and to show them every single day. Too many young lives have been lost this way.

 

[carrieluvv]

that is depressing
and your right alot of parents tend to focus on other day to day crap and kids really need to be hugged and told that they are loved.
me and my sister were just talking about suicides today and how alot of times its the people who ya think would never ever go that route.who seem like the most balanced people ever.
and then ya might say that those people must have never been fortunate enough to struggle...and then get through it...but im starting to re- think that.
my son is havin a hard time right now ...he was a star athlete at schol..until he got tendinitis and now his back has been hurting for weeks on end.
he takes really good care of himself...but yesterday he hit a low..and now im worried about him...i always tell my kids i love em and I do tend to spoil them a bit.
....but its scary....
esp these days.

you remembering Bill shows that youve put him in your heart...
and thats enough

 

[LoveTown]

I'm really sorry to hear about your son Carrie. Hopefully he will be able to bounce back and find happiness again. He's lucky to have a great mom like you

 

[carrieluvv]

thanks
he'll bounce back