AttnKleinkind
The Fly
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Messages
- 181
Hey everyone. I think this might be something that I just need to get off my chest, so hopefully this isn't too boring (but any other thoughts/advice/related feelings would be much appreciated!)
I'm a 22 year old young woman and I just came from a wedding last night. I'm not really someone who goes out and goes dancing or clubbing - not because I don't want to, but because I feel so awkward when I try and dance. However, I always thought that if I was actually relaxed enough I could probably do it, and I had never tried dancing before after a couple drinks either. The last time I danced was at my high school grad, so it's been a while. I thought that with the confidence I'd gotten throughout university and through different relationships would help me, but holy crap I was so wrong.
I've always wanted to be able to just dance and have fun, but I had always been held back from fear of what others thought of me, thus making myself dance awkwardly, which of course made me even more self-conscious. Tonight though, at the wedding...I found out that it's not just that I feel self-conscious (which was still true, but a far cry from the extent that I used to feel) I actually did not know what to do.
I was pretty relaxed, but like...I couldn't even think of what to do with my body. When I first started my boyfriend was trying to help me and was telling me to not worry and to just 'feel it' - I discovered I have actually no concept of rhythm. No exaggeration, I did not know how to find the beat much less move to it. And when I finally was able to settle into some sort of awkward pattern, I just couldn't think of what to do. Like...what do you do with your hands? I have no idea how to move my hips or what to do with my upper body. I actually don't know what to do.
Anyway so it's 6 in the morning now and I've been thinking about the night, I am just so mortified thinking of how I must have looked. I just keep running it over and over in my head, and I think that's why I can't sleep. I mean...I feel like just about every girl my age goes out clubbing and stuff, and so of course can dance...and the fact that I am just stumped makes me feel very abnormal...and also just unsexy! I would love to just be able to dance and be hot and let go, but I just feel so unattractive, and bad for my boyfriend that I can't do anything for him in this area.
In the past I have thought about taking lessons, but whenever I picture myself actually doing it I just don't feel like I could pull it off. I feel like that is something that just screams 'awkward' about me and that I couldn't be taken seriously when dancing. My boyfriend was really being sweet and trying to help me, but when I finally felt like I was able to move more freely he started giving me tips like to move slower or whatever, or to lower my hands and that just made me so self-conscious again. So even when I'm relaxed and not worried what anyone is thinking, I don't even look good, which is why I feel like lessons wouldn't help.
I know that this is probably deeply rooted in certain insecurities and some social anxiety that I haven't gotten over yet, and I guess I'll just have to work on that. But I really thought I was doing so much better! Maybe it just takes practice, but the basic movements seem to come naturally to everyone else, especially girls. I just feel so unfeminine right now. I don't know how to stop going over tonight in my head, and I just feel so mortified.
I'm not sure if there is an overall point to this...but mostly I am hoping that once I get this out I will be able to go to sleep. If anyone has any advice or feels the same way I would love to hear about it
tl;dr - I can't dance and I hate it and feel nerdy and unsexy and I don't even know where to start to help myself. It's really that bad.
I'm a 22 year old young woman and I just came from a wedding last night. I'm not really someone who goes out and goes dancing or clubbing - not because I don't want to, but because I feel so awkward when I try and dance. However, I always thought that if I was actually relaxed enough I could probably do it, and I had never tried dancing before after a couple drinks either. The last time I danced was at my high school grad, so it's been a while. I thought that with the confidence I'd gotten throughout university and through different relationships would help me, but holy crap I was so wrong.
I've always wanted to be able to just dance and have fun, but I had always been held back from fear of what others thought of me, thus making myself dance awkwardly, which of course made me even more self-conscious. Tonight though, at the wedding...I found out that it's not just that I feel self-conscious (which was still true, but a far cry from the extent that I used to feel) I actually did not know what to do.
I was pretty relaxed, but like...I couldn't even think of what to do with my body. When I first started my boyfriend was trying to help me and was telling me to not worry and to just 'feel it' - I discovered I have actually no concept of rhythm. No exaggeration, I did not know how to find the beat much less move to it. And when I finally was able to settle into some sort of awkward pattern, I just couldn't think of what to do. Like...what do you do with your hands? I have no idea how to move my hips or what to do with my upper body. I actually don't know what to do.
Anyway so it's 6 in the morning now and I've been thinking about the night, I am just so mortified thinking of how I must have looked. I just keep running it over and over in my head, and I think that's why I can't sleep. I mean...I feel like just about every girl my age goes out clubbing and stuff, and so of course can dance...and the fact that I am just stumped makes me feel very abnormal...and also just unsexy! I would love to just be able to dance and be hot and let go, but I just feel so unattractive, and bad for my boyfriend that I can't do anything for him in this area.
In the past I have thought about taking lessons, but whenever I picture myself actually doing it I just don't feel like I could pull it off. I feel like that is something that just screams 'awkward' about me and that I couldn't be taken seriously when dancing. My boyfriend was really being sweet and trying to help me, but when I finally felt like I was able to move more freely he started giving me tips like to move slower or whatever, or to lower my hands and that just made me so self-conscious again. So even when I'm relaxed and not worried what anyone is thinking, I don't even look good, which is why I feel like lessons wouldn't help.
I know that this is probably deeply rooted in certain insecurities and some social anxiety that I haven't gotten over yet, and I guess I'll just have to work on that. But I really thought I was doing so much better! Maybe it just takes practice, but the basic movements seem to come naturally to everyone else, especially girls. I just feel so unfeminine right now. I don't know how to stop going over tonight in my head, and I just feel so mortified.
I'm not sure if there is an overall point to this...but mostly I am hoping that once I get this out I will be able to go to sleep. If anyone has any advice or feels the same way I would love to hear about it
tl;dr - I can't dance and I hate it and feel nerdy and unsexy and I don't even know where to start to help myself. It's really that bad.