sarah_U27
The Fly
My 14 year old girl has very long hair and is attractive but thinks she's ugly. She is shapely without being too thin, and while i think this is great, in some respects, she also slouches and has a few boyish mannerisms (she has had some close guy friends over the years) and refuses all attempts at make-up but (recently) told me she might try eye-shadow and before you start telling me how good this is is, or bad this is ... i am rather undecided as to how to proceed with allowing her to change in to HER VIEW of womanhood. Cuz at this point i think she views herself as "punk" and nothing more . . . certainly not a lady. Since she has low self-esteem and an estranged relationship with her father (on her part, i am more inclined to say) altho she's still working on it, at times her attitude is shit. she likes two boys and i smell trouble. one of her girl friends is an idiot (this is only my opinion & what i've observed...) i am just pointing out the differing viewpoints towards make-up and fashion. some say it's shallow and leads to vanity while others can manage it effectively and are more concerned about the spirit of the thing. the inner person, whether they glow with love etc. i feel my daughter has a low self-esteem when it comes to how she views herself and think that a little eyeshadow and a new haircut can work wonders, since she keeps on dressing in black and wants blue streaks in her hair. i'm not so sure about the whole punk scene. i am not so sure about the wonders these changes can bring about now, it seems, her friends are of supreme importance and i am being shoved to the back stage. *anyway* my idea (and my husband gives me full rein in all of this) is to expose her to mediocre stylists and put some eye shadow on her. she wanted blue streaks in her hair but we (husband & I ) are only allowing simple low lights ---Not high lights...she wants low lights which is fine with me---Meanwhile, I will keep on being kind to her (as kind as humanly possible even tho she thinks i am a pain in the ass) and i will KEEP ON trying NOT 2B irritated and I will stop telling her to stand up straight!!!!! instead i will emphasize the importance of the heart of womanhood. No modeling classes are in store for her. I wish she'd stop slouching. why oh why does she like punk? I really would like to sit down and do her whole face. but if she's on the outskirts of the drug/party scene you know i feel leery of the whole thing. yes, ALL is vanity even youth. you think I should force her to submit to my make-up session on her face, because believe me, she'd fight me. then she'd give in. any advice or comments prayers etc. would be most appreciated. i DID buy a book on etiquette and thought of forcing her to read it but then i became QUITE interested in it and read the whole thing, so now I am just informing her as events arise. It's fun. okay well i know i wrote alot and it's jumbled but that's it.