Mrs. Edge
Bono's Belly Dancing Friend
Maybe I am defective somehow, but I just don't care much for babies. I don't think toddlers are cute either with all their screaming and wrecking things. I can tolerate older children, but I still don't see myself having any. Maybe if my husband desperately wanted them, I might get motivated, but he couldn't care less either way. So I am STILL in baby limbo.
Today, I had to go to a friend's "new baby open house". The place was packed with babies. I sat there holding my glass of wine, a smile frozen to my face wondering what was the matter with me, and why I wasn't desperate to hold the baby and have it burp milk all over me! And besides, whenever I try to hold one, it cries! It makes me feel so badly I can't bear to even attempt to hold them! I can sort of see that they are kind of cute (I guess) but the way these people carry ON about them!
Most of my friends have babies and no one can understand how I could be married for almost 11 years and not have one of these adorable things. What really bugs me is that as soon as a friend has a baby you lose them. That's all they can think about forever. It's very depressing. One thing is for sure, if I ever do have children, they will be an important PART of my life, but not my ENTIRE LIFE.
My mother says that once you have children, your life is entirely wrapped up in them and you gladly live through their accomplishments and events....you get all your happiness and fulfillment through them. Well nuts to that! I want to have my OWN life, and my OWN accomplishments! Am I crazy?? I am not ready to throw in the towel and be a mere vessel for someone else! BAH! I am not articulating this well, but you know what I mean.
What is the matter with me? My sister didn't have her first until she was 35, so I have a bit to go.....but it's not looking promising.
Today, I had to go to a friend's "new baby open house". The place was packed with babies. I sat there holding my glass of wine, a smile frozen to my face wondering what was the matter with me, and why I wasn't desperate to hold the baby and have it burp milk all over me! And besides, whenever I try to hold one, it cries! It makes me feel so badly I can't bear to even attempt to hold them! I can sort of see that they are kind of cute (I guess) but the way these people carry ON about them!
Most of my friends have babies and no one can understand how I could be married for almost 11 years and not have one of these adorable things. What really bugs me is that as soon as a friend has a baby you lose them. That's all they can think about forever. It's very depressing. One thing is for sure, if I ever do have children, they will be an important PART of my life, but not my ENTIRE LIFE.
My mother says that once you have children, your life is entirely wrapped up in them and you gladly live through their accomplishments and events....you get all your happiness and fulfillment through them. Well nuts to that! I want to have my OWN life, and my OWN accomplishments! Am I crazy?? I am not ready to throw in the towel and be a mere vessel for someone else! BAH! I am not articulating this well, but you know what I mean.
What is the matter with me? My sister didn't have her first until she was 35, so I have a bit to go.....but it's not looking promising.