Chickens in Libraries
A chicken walks into the library. It goes up to the circulation desk and says: "book, bok, bok, boook".
The librarian hands the chicken a book. It tucks it under his wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the first book into the return bin and goes back to the librarian saying: "book, bok, bok, bok, boook". Again the librarian gives it a book, and the chicken runs out. The librarian shakes her head.
Within a few minutes, the chicken is back, returns the book and starts all over again: "boook, book, bok bok boook". The librarian gives him yet a third book, but this time as the chicken is running out the door, she follows it.
The chicken runs down the street, through the park and down to the riverbank. There, sitting on a lily pad is a big, green frog. The chicken holds up the book and shows it to the frog, saying: "Book, bok, bok, boook". The frog blinks, and croaks: "read-it, read-it, read-it".
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Light Bulb Jokes:
How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb? Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!
How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.
How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one provided it is in AACR2.
How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb? (with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"
How many reference librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None if it has a LCSH heading.
How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).
How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb? At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.
How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)
Q: What happens when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A: You get all the information you want, but you can't understand it.
There was a young couple from Delhi
Who went around belly to belly,
Because, in their haste,
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.
What did one math book say to the other math book?
" Do you want to hear my problems?"
What does the librarian say when she has to leave?
Time to book!
What did the book called "Chills" say to the other book?
" I feel chills running down my spine!"
What is a book's favorite food?
A bookworm
What's the difference between an accountant and a dectective solving the Case of the Stolen Book?
One's a bookkeeper and one's a bookcaper
Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
Because she was in the non-friction section.
What does a library book wear whenever it leaves the building?
A pager.
Where was the librarian when the lights went out?
In the dark!