namkcuR
ONE love, blood, life
I had to go to a family reunion today. It was all on my father's father's side of the family...that is, my paternal grandfather's side of the family. But this was an unusual family reunion for us.
My father's father died of a heart attack when my father was 2, so my father never knew his father. For whatever reason, after my father's father died, there was little contact between my father's father's family and my mother, and as such, my father never really got to know anyone on his father's side of the family very well. Since he never got to know them very well, my brother and I never knew any of them at all. It's sort a unique situation. My father knows who some of them are on a very redumentary level(i.e.name and relation to him), but until today hasn't seen some of them in 30-35 years.
So my dad, my mom, and I went to this reunion today(a two hour drive), and I met these people for the first time in my life and my dad saw them for the first time in decades.
For my dad, it was interesting and held some meaning for him because, even though he didn't have that much interest in going to a reunion of people he was related to but could barely remember, he did have a good deal of interest in talking to some of these people because they are his only connection to the father he never got to know - that is, his older cousins who were old enough at the time to have some memories of their uncle(my dad's dad), and my dad's 90 year old aunt(my dad's dad's sister) - who is in shockingly good shape for a 90 year old, walking on her own two feet and still having all of her mind - who grew up with the guy and could tell my dad firsthand about his dad. So even though it was somewhat of a chore for my dad, it was educational for him too.
For me however....I mean, after meeting them, I have no objections to them. These are perfectly nice people. Really. But should I consider them family? How can someone I just met today, a month shy of my 22nd birthday, be family? I've always thought of family as people you grow up with and who you know better than anyone else. My mother's family is the only family I've ever known. I have two cousins who are like brothers to me(even though I only see them a few times a year), an aunt(mother's sister) who loves me almost like I was her own, and a grandmother(mother's mother) who loves her grandchildren more than anything(and she's my only living grandparent - I knew my mother's father, loved him, but he died of diabetes when I was 7). My mother has aunts and uncles and cousins that I know too, although admittedly I'm not really quite as close with them as the aforementioned people, but still, I've known them my whole life.
They are my family(with my mom and dad and brother too, obviously).
I'm just having a hard time with the idea of actually thinking of the people I met today - as perfectly nice and mostly unobjectionable as they were - as family. I have NO problem thus far with these people, but I also don't feel anything other then maybe friendship with any of them. How could I feel anything more than that for people I just met 12 hours ago? And is it fair to consider people I've known for a day to be family when the people I do consider family(everyone on my mother's side) have been in my life since the day I was born?
Can anyone relate to this? Are these fair questions that I'm asking myself? Am I thinking too much about this? Any input is appreciated.
My father's father died of a heart attack when my father was 2, so my father never knew his father. For whatever reason, after my father's father died, there was little contact between my father's father's family and my mother, and as such, my father never really got to know anyone on his father's side of the family very well. Since he never got to know them very well, my brother and I never knew any of them at all. It's sort a unique situation. My father knows who some of them are on a very redumentary level(i.e.name and relation to him), but until today hasn't seen some of them in 30-35 years.
So my dad, my mom, and I went to this reunion today(a two hour drive), and I met these people for the first time in my life and my dad saw them for the first time in decades.
For my dad, it was interesting and held some meaning for him because, even though he didn't have that much interest in going to a reunion of people he was related to but could barely remember, he did have a good deal of interest in talking to some of these people because they are his only connection to the father he never got to know - that is, his older cousins who were old enough at the time to have some memories of their uncle(my dad's dad), and my dad's 90 year old aunt(my dad's dad's sister) - who is in shockingly good shape for a 90 year old, walking on her own two feet and still having all of her mind - who grew up with the guy and could tell my dad firsthand about his dad. So even though it was somewhat of a chore for my dad, it was educational for him too.
For me however....I mean, after meeting them, I have no objections to them. These are perfectly nice people. Really. But should I consider them family? How can someone I just met today, a month shy of my 22nd birthday, be family? I've always thought of family as people you grow up with and who you know better than anyone else. My mother's family is the only family I've ever known. I have two cousins who are like brothers to me(even though I only see them a few times a year), an aunt(mother's sister) who loves me almost like I was her own, and a grandmother(mother's mother) who loves her grandchildren more than anything(and she's my only living grandparent - I knew my mother's father, loved him, but he died of diabetes when I was 7). My mother has aunts and uncles and cousins that I know too, although admittedly I'm not really quite as close with them as the aforementioned people, but still, I've known them my whole life.
They are my family(with my mom and dad and brother too, obviously).
I'm just having a hard time with the idea of actually thinking of the people I met today - as perfectly nice and mostly unobjectionable as they were - as family. I have NO problem thus far with these people, but I also don't feel anything other then maybe friendship with any of them. How could I feel anything more than that for people I just met 12 hours ago? And is it fair to consider people I've known for a day to be family when the people I do consider family(everyone on my mother's side) have been in my life since the day I was born?
Can anyone relate to this? Are these fair questions that I'm asking myself? Am I thinking too much about this? Any input is appreciated.