Jive Turkey
ONE love, blood, life
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2005
- Messages
- 13,645
Isn't he the best?aaaah! jean parmesan! he did it again!
Reached for comment at his ranch in the Basque country shortly before press time, U2 drummer Larry Mullen Jnr. promised a 'full testimony' on the 'Great Fan Awakening of 2009' would soon be forthcoming from Bono and fellow band members Dave Evans (also known as The Edge) and Adam Clayton.
"Bono always knew that one day the light would shine forth on our fans, and that the consequences might be unpredictable," Mullen said.
Already the Vatican has asked for documentation on the leading cases of stigmata, which if proven to be legitimate, could set in train the process leading to beatification of the U2 singer and main lyricist, Bono.
At press time a wild mob of U2 fans assaulted the offices of journalist Ted Connors, demanding that canonisation proceed forthwith.
After passing through the stages of libertopianism, extropianism, time dilation and Randian Singularity, sources say the former geology undergrad returned to an empty Sydney junkyard late on Monday night.
His/Its arrival was heralded by a blinding ball of blue-white lightning and the sight of several old car door panels being blown off their hinges to smash against a nearby brick wall.
He/It, the Godhead, the Transformed, was apparently quite naked, entirely hairless and extremely muscular.
Sources say that A_Wanderer has returned to the present era in order to punish uneducated unenlightened man for failing to usher in His/Its transhumanism sooner than they in fact did. And also Dutch girls, who the Transformed allegedly maintains should be punished for having large breasts.
"AI (wandering) gods will make everything better in the new past," an insider observed.