MrsSpringsteen said:
There are plenty of threads on Int like that 
but I don't think this one is like that at all. I'm really enjoying it
Btw, my pick for most beautiful man I've ever seen (famous) is probably Aiden Turner-you can Google him if you'd like and let me know what you think 
If this question is too personal, please just say so, I hesitated to ask it for that reason
What is the most hurtful/hateful thing you've ever experienced because you're gay?
aiden's gorgeous. i wasn't aware of him -- thanks for pointing him out.
this is a pretty anonyous forum -- i am fully prepared to answer any questions, so please do not hesitate. seriously. if you want to ask deeply personal questions, or nuts-and-bolts sex questions, or just want to know my favorite color (hint: not pink), please ask.
as for the question ... i think i need to divide that into 3 categories: the personal, the political, and the social.
the personal: nothing really hateful has ever happened to me. i am a very lucky person, and all of my friends -- really, all -- could care less. on this level, i can happily and honestly say that nothing hateful has ever happened to me because of my seuxal orientation, at least that i'm aware of. of course people have been assholes to me (and i'm sure i've been an asshole at various points), but there is nothing i can link directly back to sexuality.
the political: all this anti-marriage stuff, all the things you hear in the media from the Christian Right ... this really hurts. when you hear your own personal desires lampooned and turned into an object of derision by people who you really have no other option than to call ignorant bigots, it takes a bit of a toll. gay men have enough issues with self esteem to begin with. the whole amendment thing seems downright nasty, almost intentionally cruel, like the playground bully picking on the weak kid, and the teachers not only watching but applauding. seriously: why is it necessary to target a small minority who have already been ravaged by the deadliest disease since the Bubonic Plauge and have endured a history of social ostracism (on the basis of an involuntary characteristic) and who are arguably the most persecuted people on the planet and try and write them out of the Constitution?
the social: once, i got a phone call from someone who i barely knew. we had met out one night, and we exchanged phone numbers, but nothing else. he called me one day saying he really wanted to see me and that we should hang out, etc. i agreed, and within 20 minutes of hanging out at his house he announced that he and his boyfriend had broken up and he was seriously depressed and he was thinking about killing himself. we talked, and talked, and talked ... he was a bit older (35) and had basically left his wife and 2 children to be with this much younger man (23) and couldn't deal with being gay and being without this boyfriend. he kept saying over and over "he said he would never leave me," and i remember trying to explain that 23 year olds might say that but they probably don't mean it. it was a very circular conversation, and looking back, he was probably mentally ill. he was funny, smart, sharp as a tack, not unattractive, and utterly incapable of seeing beyond the absent boyfriend. it was extremely dramatic. he said that they'd been exchanging vicious voice mails, the two of them, and that the younger boyfriend wasn't out to his parents, but he called the mother and started screaming at him that she was killing her son because she was religously opposed to homosexuality, etc. he said that the mother started crying, saying "my perfect son is gone." the boyfriend called back, yelled at this person for yelling at his mother, etc.
it was pretty fucked up.
i remember we got to a point where he assured me he wouldn't kill himself, and that he was going to head to the airport and head down to a southern city (where he was orignally from, and where the boyfriend lived). he got to this point by reassuring himself that, "i think we're gonna get back together." which seemed weird to me -- he couldn't get beyond that, he was infatuated with that. anyway, it had been raining the whole time, and as we waited on the sidewalk for the taxi to pick him up, the clouds started to part and the sun came out. the cab came, we hugged, and he went off. as it took a left turn at the end of the block and drove out of sight, i remember looking up at the sky and seeing a rainbow.
i called him: "look up in the sky, there's a rainbow."
him: "oh my god. it's so beautiful."
me: "take it as a sign. things are going to get better. you're going to be okay."
him: "you're right. it is all going to be okay."
i didn't hear from him the next day. the day after that, i called his cell phone and asked him to call me to tell me how how he was doing. i got nervous, did some frantic internet searching.
and i found his obituary.
had i not been gay, had he not been gay, this would never have happened.
homophobia kills.
but it's more of an evolution than a realization, at least for me. i was essentially straight until the end of college, then i would have called myself "bi-curious" then even until mid-way through my first real relationship i kept insisting i was "bi" (he knew better, but understood ... said something to the effect of, "yeah, i was bisexual once too"). it probably took until the end of that relationship to realize what had happened, and that i could both live with myself. and it's a constantly evolving thing.i wanna answer a question!!!!
I went on an online chat w/ him once and he's very nice. He seems very nice in general. He's British. He's engaged. I'm slightly obsessed w/ him 
Bono is hot!
