I'm Officially a Refugee........

[Bonochick]

431. He thinks his mom is hot.
432. He thanks God everyday that he can tolerate the smell of his own snot...otherwise how would he be able to live with himself, breathin' that in constantly???
433. He likes to bury treasure in his front yard (though I don't know if you could really describe it as "treasure"...).
434. He collects empty tennis ball containers and is trying to create new lifeforms in them.
435. He wants to construct a hamster wheel big enough for him to run in.
436. He wants to name his first born child after David Hasselhoff (yes, even if it's a girl...).
437. He enjoys covering his body in paste and rolling around in pine needles.
438. He likes to gnaw on wood because he has a secret desire to be a beaver.
439. He tied a bunch of helium balloons to himself, in hopes of being able to fly. Unfortunately, he tied them all to his hat.
440. He worships claymation characters.

 

[Bonochick]

441. He thinks Madonna is naturally blonde.
442. He likes to make naked snow angels on the church lawn on Sunday morning.
443. He once poured hot oil over his body to see if he could make himself scream like a girl...but he realized that the pitch of his scream was the same as it always is.
444. He is still amused by frying ants with a magnifying glass.
445. He likes to put on sunglasses on and stare pervertedly at girls, pretending he has x-ray vision.
446. He can tie a cherry stem with his arse...so he says...yet he's never proven it...either way...it's disgusting and lame.
447. He wanted to be a figure skater so he could wear sequined leotards without people thinking he was a fruitcake (they'd just think he was a fruitcake for other reasons).
448. His Christmas tree is just a plant with some flocking.
449. He uses Shake 'n Bake on pizza.
450. He has one of those doughnut pillows (you know the kind...and he uses it often...).

 

[Bonochick]

451. He would like to meet and personally thank whoever invented adult diapers...they saved his life!
452. When he bakes a cake, it turns out "chewy"...I don't even wanna know...
453. Rubberbands = high fashion jewelry
454. All gifts he's ever given to a woman have come out of a Cracker Jack box.
455. He's considered breast implants ("If I can't touch anybody else's, I might as well have my own at my disposal!").
456. He wishes his teeth looked as good as Austin Powers's.
457. He wears velvet hip huggers and belly chains.
458. He often forgets to remove the hangers from clothes before puttin' 'em on.
459. He spikes alcoholic beverages with water ("Watch out for me at parties...I am one crazy mofo!!!").
460. He's spent several hours practicin' walkin' in high heels.

 

[Bonochick]

461. He is still sad that U2 didn't let him be their new bellydancer.
462. He often is heard to comment that "hands are so handy!" (and he thinks he's the most clever SOB for sayin' such...).
463. He wishes he had a manly voice like Cookie Monster.
464. He has elevator shoes.
465. He enjoys hiding under ginormous rugs and screaming, "BET YOU CAN'T FIND ME UNDER THIS DAMN RUG!!!!!!!!!! I BET YOU CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")
466. He is the neighbourhood hulahoop champion.
467. He likes to knot his shirts at the hip (especially neon coloured shirts).
468. He always keeps a spare pair of underwear in his trunk ("I like to be prepared for the unthinkable!!").
469. He thinks that caramels are made out of cars and guys named Mel.
470. He's convinced he has a clone living in Alabama.

 

[Bonochick]

471. He has a bumper sticker on his car that says "I'd Rather Be Sewing!" (funny story about that...funny BC story, that is...).
472. He coloured his Checkers set purple and pink instead of red and black ("It's just so much more fun this way!!!" *claps hands together and squeals*).
473. When he goes out to clubs, he tries to impress girls with The Macarena. *busts out some wicked fresh Bassy moves* *snort*
474. He tries to lick this smiley everytime it sticks out its tongue ---->
475. He still needs somebody to hold his hand as he crosses the street.
476. Old ladies don't even think he's cute (not even with ones with cataracts).
477. He humps his TV during toothpaste commercials.
478. He celebrates every 3rd Wednesday of each month by decorating his bedroom in balloons and streamers and covering his body in fuschia glitter.
479. He likes to go to museums so he can look at the nude art...he always gets kicked out for some reason or other though...related to the nude art, of course.
480. Fishnets make him feel "saucy".

 

[Bonochick]

481. He counts on his fingers...and still messes up.
482. He was born with 5 nipples.
483. If he were to become a porno star, his name would be Tiny Bubbles.
484. He got kicked out of the openhouse at the firehouse for using the pole in lewd ways.
485. He was disappointed with the trampoline that he ordered ("Where the hell is the 'tramp'?!").
486. He hugs himself...A LOT...
487. He has a large collection of bottle tops cuz he is still hoping that someday he will be able to build a car out of them.
488. He has a weave.
489. He arm wrestles himself, but it always ends in a draw because he eventually just passes out from exhaustion.
490. He pissed in cups and tried to pass it off as cider.

 

[Bonochick]

Halfway Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How Ya Feelin', Kirk?????????

491. He locked his fruitbowl in a cabinet because he thought the bananas were plottin' against him.
492. He enjoys throwin' socks at his ceilin' fan to see how far they will fly.
493. He filled the neighbour's pool with Jell-O...the day before they were lettin' him have a pool party there (way to be all about the timin', asstrap!).
494. He enjoys lickin' freshly waxed floors.
495. He made all of his kitchen furniture out of sausage ("It serves two purposes...every kitchen needs this!").
496. He thinks that his credit card is a "gift certificate".
497. Everytime it rains, he puts on a neon yellow bodysuit and screams, "It's rainin' men!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!"
498. He thinks that there is something really sensual about yogurt with fruit on the bottom.
499. He likes to sleep in cat litter.
500. He tried to mug a streetlamp.

 

[Bonochick]

501. He figures that puke is called puke because it's pukey...and chocolate is called chocolate because it is chocolately...but if puke was chocolate, and chocolate was puke, then puke would be chocolately and chocolate would be pukey, but I guess we would just associate chocolate with being chocolately and puke with being pukey...and Kirk thinks about crap like this until his head hurts, and he cries.
502. He tries to open doors with piano keys.
503. Jerry Springer wouldn't allow him on his show because he was "too big of a freak...that's not the kind of image I want my show to portray".
504. He still gets diaper rash...but not just on his arse...
505. He camped outside Bruce Springsteen's house for a week...until he realized it wasn't THE Bruce Springsteen...and then got his ass kicked by an elderly Mr. Springsteen.
506. A girl told him she wanted to smoke weed, so he lit some dandelions on fire and handed them to her.
507. He likes to order pizza "with crust on top, sauce on bottom".
508. He just thinks the microwave is incredible...he could sit and watch it cook all day...and he does...
509. Test tubes make him titter.
510. He picks his nose with his tongue.

 

[Lemon Meringue]

Wow! Over halfway there.

Truely amazing.

 

[Bonochick]

511. He refers to his bed as "where the magic happens"...but that's just cuz his parents bought him a lame magic set when he was 7 that he still plays with in bed.
512. He rides his bike through the carwash ("Look, ma, no ha-mmphhhhhhsssAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!").
513. He has to shampoo his ear hair.
514. He made brownies with laxatives in them to offer his friends, but nobody ate them, so he figured he best not let 'em go to waste. Speakin' of waste..........
515. He likes to stand downtown and pretend he's a statue...he considers it a success after a bird craps on him.
516. He goes scuba divin' in the mall fountain.
517. He has elf shoes with jingly bells that he likes to wear when he's feelin' frisky.
518. He eats canned cat food.
519. He staples his clothes to himself...just to be extra careful.
520. He hates watching sad movies because he always cries and ruins his eye makeup.

 

[Bonochick]

521. He sodded his living room.
522. He thinks Carly Simon's "Your So Vain" is about him.
523. He wonders why Coldplay doesn't just put on some jackets and gloves.
524. He thinks milk jugs make nifty hats.
525. He still takes Flintstone vitamins.
526. He once nailed his nose to a windowsill.
527. He likes to lick slugs.
528. Whenever he sets his blender to "Frappe", he giggles uncontrollably.
529. He hides Twinkies down his pants.
530. He thinks Video was a real jerk to kill The Radio Star ("It's like, what did The Radio Star ever do to Video? This world is so fucked up...I need to go play with my action figures...not dolls...ACTION FIGURES...").

 

[Bonochick]

531. He still builds forts in the livin' room.
532. He makes campfires out of construction paper and spends hours tryin' to roast marshmallows over 'em.
533. He collects Hummel figurines.
534. He has a bubblegum wrapper chain 'bout 78 feet long.
535. He got a concussion after attempting to dance on a bar, steppin' on a lemon wedge, and fallin' into liquor bottles (what a waste of wondeful alcohol, asstrap...way to be!).
537. His clothes aren't old and dirty...they are "vintage"...(apparently, so is your washing machine. Don't you at least have wringers in Canada???).
538. You don't mind that you will die someday, as long as you can keep living (umm...we need to have a talk...).
539. He's still sad that he never got to be homecoming queen.
540. He always tries to get the Time & Temperate Lady to go on a date with him...and he knows that she's just a recording...

 

[Bonochick]

541. He believes broken hearts can be mended with Scotch tape (I agree...except for the "tape" part...).
542. He thinks glue makes a nice base for soup.
543. He claims to have invented the Christmas tree.
544. He likes to leave nose prints on people's windows.
545. He draws black eyes on peas with Sharpies.
546. He broke into a bowling alley to steal the shoes.
547. He enjoys randomly shouting out obscenities at the picture show.
548. He tried to print out his report on a waffle.
549. He still think whoopee cushions are funny as hell.
550. He loves how ballet slippers make his feet look so dainty!

 

[bonosloveslave]

522. He thinks Carly Simon's "Your So Vain" is about him.

It's not?

Wow BC, I am still in awe of your greatness.....but don't forget, he didn't give you a deadline so don't wear yourself out over this - I didn't expect you to be more than halfway after only 2 days! You rock!





nothing personal bassy

 

[Bonochick]

551. His mittens are on a string so the doesn't loose 'em.
552. He waters artificial flowers.
553. He built a catwalk in his backyard so he can "work it".
554. He reads Good Housekeeping.
555. He has dishpan hands...and feet...
556. He has a boil on his back shaped like Florida.
557. He likes watchin' those damn fudgemakers in those tourist towns, and he'd always sing, "Fudgemaker, fudgemaker, make me some fudge!"
558. He dives into the ocean to try to locate saltwater taffy.
559. Everynight, he goes to bed and hopes to wake up and finally be a man (keep hopin', honey!).
560. He filled his hall closet with sand and calls it his "private island getaway".

 

[Ali Rose]

524. He thinks milk jugs make nifty hats.

no milk jugs in Canada, kat. only milk BAGS

 

[Bonochick]

no milk jugs in Canada, kat. only milk BAGS

Ever hear of import/export?

 

[Bonochick]

561. Many items in his duffel bag are adorned with Hello Kitty.
562. He carried a small, rotten orange in his pocket for 3 months.
563. He pinched his finger in the chain on the swing and screamed, "GODDAMMIT!!!!!" as some nuns were walkin' by. They pantsed him...and stole his roll of quarters.
564. He opened a bakery and then remembered he didn't know how to bake.
565. He built a surfboard out of cardboard.
566. He tried to laminate his face.
567. Amish women turn him on.
568. He tries to pick women up by telling them that he wrote "Whoomp! There It Is!"
569. He has a pair of bongos...but they are really just some empty oatmeal containers.
570. If he has to take a bath without his bath toys, he pouts for the rest of the night.

 

[zonelistener]

Worth five stars!

 

[Bonochick]

571. He tells women that he is the king of an island nation called Koomeenali (do you mean to tell me that nobody has tried to look that up? That can't possibly work...).
572. He paid $2,000 at Ebay for a fur coat. The animal? Turtle.
573. He painted his windows.
574. He wears curlers. *snort*
575. He keeps his safe in a safe...because he really, really likes that safe...doesn't want to lose it now, does he?
576. He loves the smell of cat food first thing in the morning.
577. He enjoys wearing green and white striped socks because "they go with everything!" (even that pink dress, eh?).
578. He has a rubber duckie named "Squeaky Beaky".
579. He swallowed a bee when he was 5, and it stung his pancreas.
580. He owns several mesh shirts.

 

[Bonochick]

581. He still sucks his thumb.
582. Cereal mascots give him nightmares.
583. He believes in underpants gnomes...he says he used to be one until he made a daring escape ("They're like a cult!").
584. He likes to watch football because of the tight pants.
585. He likes to rip his pants so he can have air conditioning.
586. He thinks a jacuzzi is fillin' a tub in the backyard with water and fartin' in it.
587. He makes desserts with beef.
588. To make sure he doesn't forget his way home, his mom pins a map to his shirt everyday before he leaves.
589. He thought lemonade was a concert put together to help raise money for citrus fruit.
590. He tests pots with his hands to see if they are hot. After he burns himself, he tries again...just to make sure...10 more times...

 

[Bonochick]

591. He likes to wear an engineer's hat and run around the house while blowin' a train whistle.
592. He tried to wire his refrigerator up for remote control usage.
593. His car has an 8-track player.
594. He likes to soak his feet in soup.
595. He loves the way he looks in red, lace teddies.
596. He owns a "puffy shirt".
597. He gets hairballs.
598. He thinks he's really strong because one time, he broke one of those "unbreakable" combs.
599. Many of his hobbies involve caulking compound.
600. He can never open jars ("I broke an unbreakable comb, but I can't open jars...I don't understand!").

 

[Bonochick]

601. He prefers video games over girls because video games "don't call me names and slap me".
602. He's allergic to sunlight.
603. He trips over his own feet.
604. He volunteered to work at a fast food joint for the "free grease".
605. He has a Huey Lewis poster tacked to the ceiling over his bed.
606. He seeks holy wisdom from a praying mantis.
607. "Far out!" and "Groovy!" still pepper his conversations.
608. He launched an indepth study to find out how they get the cream in the Twinkies (dear...there are holes on the bottom...turn the damn thing over...).
609. He likes to make a shampoo mohawk in the shower...and not wash it out.
610. He got into a fistfight with a light fixture.

 

[Bonochick]

611. He thinks the Pillsbury Doughboy is "quite fetching".
612. He stuffs pillowcases with marmalade and says that they are for Fanny, the alligator that lives in his toilet.
613. He wears a bandana around his thigh (tasty!).
614. He stands in front of the mirror for hours, trying to figure out how he can see how he looks with his eyes closed.
615. He was carving his initials into a tree...and he spelt them wrong.
616. He makes his own soap.
617. He hosts Tupperware parties.
618. He cried during the series finale of Beverly Hills 90210.
619. He tapes flashlights to the tops of his hats.
620. His left eye twitches when he's excited.

 

[Bonochick]

621. He still uses training wheels.
622. He wears undershirts.
623. He likes to hide things in his navel.
624. He always carries binoculars with him.
625. He tried to invent the "Do-It-Yourself Liposuction Kit".
626. He likes to wear pancake makeup all over his body.
627. He has a large collection of urinal cakes.
628. He surrounded his bed with barbed wire.
629. He has a pimp cane.
630. He wants to live in a gingerbread house and have frosting for hair.

 

[Bonochick]

631. He thinks that everybody is out to get him (okay, he MIGHT be right...).
632. He sometimes dreams of going to jail so that he wouldn't have to worry about things anymore.
633. The dirt on his body is able to be seen from space.
634. His water got shut off, so he went to their headquarters to personally bitch. They said they'd turn his water back on for free...if he promised to start showering regularly.
635. He likes to wear a trenchcoat and call himself "The Flash".
636. A girl tried to run her fingers through her hair, and her hand was stuck for a week.
637. He was told he could be a stand-up comic, but he declined because he's too lazy to stand that long.
638. He has dreams of becoming a professional wrestler.
639. He called his mom "Hoochie Mama", and she knocked his front teeth out (they were ginormous buck teeth anyway...so I guess she did you a favour...).
640. He created a Pez dispenser in his image.

 

[Bonochick]

641. He likes to wrap bacon around his fingers.
642. He likes to sneak into high school's and pretend he's a janitor.
643. He likes to leave "surprises" under the sheets in hotel beds...just to keep the maids on their toes.
644. He created a darkroom in his basement...but it's not for developing pictures....
645. He likes to hide grapes at his friends' houses.
646. He has a fear of being eaten by celery.
647. He tried to host an international sandwich festival...but he was the only one who showed up...and he forgot the sandwiches.
648. He cut off half of his tongue because it was filling up his mouth.
649. He has a skincare routine that he follows religiously.
650. He tries to sell his pants to people on the street.

 

[Bonochick]

651. He sews bonnets for lizards.
652. He likes to wear scarves as pants.
653. He thought a dictionary was porno mag.
654. The fact that doughnuts have holes make him sad ("I feel like I'm just missin' out on the whole deal...").
655. He opened a bar in his treehouse.
656. He wants to be a cowboy, baby!
657. He can catch a frisbee in his mouth.
658. He likes to put on puppet shows.
659. At job interviews, he likes to wow his potential boss by showing him how many Chips Ahoy cookies he can cram in his mouth ("One, two, fee, foh, fi.." *GAG*).
660. Everyday, he tries to walk through walls...just to see if maybe someday he can..........

 

[Bonochick]

661. He likes gettin' jiggy wit it in cornfields (to date, I'm still not sure what "it" exactly is...).
662. He likes to make cards for people with felt-tipped pens and glitter gluesticks.
663. Everywhere he goes, his guitar must ride shotgun.
664. His friend suggested that they go cruisin' for chicks...and he came home chicks...literally.................CHICKS........
665. He tries to convince people he's really only 10 years old (he just did this to me on MSN...really...).
666. This number scared him, so he freaked out and skipped to the next number.
667. He hopes that bouffant hairdos make a comeback.
668. He has an apron that says, "Kiss the Canuck!"
669. His family coat of arms has a donkey, an emu, and an igloo.
670. He can't pronounce his last name.

 

[Bonochick]

671. He claims to have a pet ringworm.
672. He thinks "pesto" is a disease.
673. He once got his hand stuck in an olive jar.
674. He tries to close himself in between the regular door and the screen door ("I think I'm gonna do it this time!!!!").
675. He uses aftershave...but he doesn't shave...
676. He likes to shove snow cones down his pants.
677. He can kick his own ass...and he likes to demonstrate.
678. He collects glass eyes.
679. When asked if he wants cheese on his salad, he giggles.
680. He thinks that "benefit" is a way to prepare eggs (with holidays sauce!).