europop2005
Refugee
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2006
- Messages
- 2,420
someone sent me this...U2's requests for the U2 tower
Bono
Helipad so that he can quickly get to Dublin Airport and fly to any of the 75 countries to which he's promised the financial aid he has no actual access to. Also, new best friend Chris Tucker could drop by to boast about his Sub-Saharan Africa Q Rating. The parade of world leaders, supermodels, and a newly out-of-prison Winona Ryder would make the sky above the new studio look like LAX on Thanksgiving Wednesday.
Mr. Hewson would also like to have the studio security system to be top-of-the-line. He wants retinal scans and voice identification. This would mean he could absent-mindedly leave new lyrics laying around and work-in-progress DATS wouldn't be stolen and spread on the Internet before they are ready.
Adam
Is insisting on the best ventilation system money can buy. He's tired of the sissy-boys with wives and children, Edge and Bono, complaining about lung cancer and smelling of smoke. Rock 'n' roll is a crude, smelly business and Adam feels as though his band mates have lost sight of this fact.
Adam also wants several separate lounges with dim lighting and comfortable pillows so that he can entertain "special friends" during breaks in the recording sessions.
Larry
Requires not one, but two secret entrances. One for him, so he isn't forced to smile and make nice with the fans that will inevitably be camped outside while the band is recording. And another for Ann and the kids so that no photographer will ever get a glimpse of exactly what they look like, or indeed, what their names are. These entrances will lead to an elevator which will be controlled by a key that only Larry and Ann have access to. (Bono will also have his own elevator, but his will be made of glass and filled with bright light, so that all of Ireland will be able to see him ascend to the top, in a theatrical manner befitting the lead vocalist. Take that, guy from Creed!)
Larry wants a garage built at the ground level with special motorcycle parking.
Larry wants a levitating drum riser, like Tommy Lee had on the last Motley Crue tour.
Larry wants a flat-top barber on call at all times.
Larry wants Internet access so that he can check his portfolio while Bono and Edge are arguing about the meaning of lyrics like "coffee is cold, but it will get you through."
Edge
Merely wants the studio to have sufficient heat so that he can finally take off the beanie that's been attached to his head since 1992.
Bono
Helipad so that he can quickly get to Dublin Airport and fly to any of the 75 countries to which he's promised the financial aid he has no actual access to. Also, new best friend Chris Tucker could drop by to boast about his Sub-Saharan Africa Q Rating. The parade of world leaders, supermodels, and a newly out-of-prison Winona Ryder would make the sky above the new studio look like LAX on Thanksgiving Wednesday.
Mr. Hewson would also like to have the studio security system to be top-of-the-line. He wants retinal scans and voice identification. This would mean he could absent-mindedly leave new lyrics laying around and work-in-progress DATS wouldn't be stolen and spread on the Internet before they are ready.
Adam
Is insisting on the best ventilation system money can buy. He's tired of the sissy-boys with wives and children, Edge and Bono, complaining about lung cancer and smelling of smoke. Rock 'n' roll is a crude, smelly business and Adam feels as though his band mates have lost sight of this fact.
Adam also wants several separate lounges with dim lighting and comfortable pillows so that he can entertain "special friends" during breaks in the recording sessions.
Larry
Requires not one, but two secret entrances. One for him, so he isn't forced to smile and make nice with the fans that will inevitably be camped outside while the band is recording. And another for Ann and the kids so that no photographer will ever get a glimpse of exactly what they look like, or indeed, what their names are. These entrances will lead to an elevator which will be controlled by a key that only Larry and Ann have access to. (Bono will also have his own elevator, but his will be made of glass and filled with bright light, so that all of Ireland will be able to see him ascend to the top, in a theatrical manner befitting the lead vocalist. Take that, guy from Creed!)
Larry wants a garage built at the ground level with special motorcycle parking.
Larry wants a levitating drum riser, like Tommy Lee had on the last Motley Crue tour.
Larry wants a flat-top barber on call at all times.
Larry wants Internet access so that he can check his portfolio while Bono and Edge are arguing about the meaning of lyrics like "coffee is cold, but it will get you through."
Edge
Merely wants the studio to have sufficient heat so that he can finally take off the beanie that's been attached to his head since 1992.
hilarious...
