NFL 2007 Part 2

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Not sure if anyone else saw this commercial...new fathead commercial, set in an office....saying how Fathead posters make statements too big for words.....Brian Urlacher fathead is represented by a bear, and the bear tears up the office, the workers rush out, then the fucking bear is standing up and breathing fire, as the sprinklers go off due to the flames. This description does it little justice, I thought it was funny. I'm also odd. Holla!

Oh, and the Bear itself is wearing an Urlacher jersey.
 
Meh. He'll be sentenced for 2 years, then some team will sign him as a RB. Nothing else to see here.
 
In order to address the complaints and hurt feelings of the rest of the NFL, the commissioner has adopted 11 new “Special Rules” for all New England Patriots games. They take effect immediately, and are as follows:

Special Rules for the Patriots

1) In the course of an NFL game, if the Patriots go up by more than 31 points, they are not allowed to play offense until the opposing team draws to within one score. (Pats will kick-off after an opposing team's touchdown or FG).

a) Once the team is within one score, the Pats offense may play, but Tom Brady may not, unless:

i) the Pats play with 8 players (including Tom), or

ii) the Pats play with 9 players, but 1 player for the Patriots is chosen by the opposing team from the stands.

b) no Patriots linebacker is allowed to play offense, unless that LB is inserted at quarterback. However, Mike Vrabel cannot be quarterback.

2) If an opposing player states "It's like were playing 7-on-5s" (7 offense, 5 defense during practice), such as indicated by Justin Smith, DE, Cincinnati Bengels 10/1/07, the Patriots must take a time out and serve ice cold lemonade or hot tea (weather dependent) to the opposing team. Scones are optional.

3) Once the 31 pt rule is in effect, Patriots may challenge any play, but the opposing team gets veto power over the referee.

4) Once the Pats offense is allowed back onto the field (7 pts), for any forward pass the Pats QB must point to the receiver and call out his number BEFORE passing. If Tom Brady is quarterbacking at the time, he must do that, plus turn the opposing team's water cooler into wine BEFORE passing.

5) Belichick must diagram any Patriots play to the opposing defense and ensure they understand exactly how to disrupt the play. This all must be done within the play clock. If this process is not complete prior to the play clock expiring, the Patriots will be assessed a delay of game and double unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.

6) Randy Moss must play with 10lb ankle weights on each ankle. An additional pound will be added for each TD this season.

7) Wes Welker is not allowed to have "that crazy look" in his eyes. 10 yd, "crazy eyes" penalty assessed.

8) Tom Brady must immediately stop dating supermodels as he will not be allowed to date anyone that is more attractive then the least attractive significant other of an opposing team member (including coaches). He also must start doing commercials for every product imaginable, especially ones where he chants "cut that meat!" or refers to himself "as a 6'5" quarterback with a laser-rocket arm"

9) Bill Belichick is not allowed to be within 100 yds of any infant, for fear that his evil supergenius powers would assimilate such a defenseless creature into the Patriots System. We have already seen this effect on an inordinate amount of chipmunks, squirrels, and 'possum that commit suicide while crossing Rte 1 to reach Gillette Stadium.

10) Patriots must respect all opposing players feelings and apologize for every first down. Touchdowns must be followed by a written apology and a fruit basket presented with a hug.



11) Any Patriots defensive player rushing and within 5 yards of the opposing team's quarterback must dance and sing two verses of the hokey pokey before making contact with said quarterback.
Click to expand...
 
What is the highest point spread in NFL history, and will the Pats be favored by 10 more than that previous record when the Jets come calling in December?
 
The Patriots will likely be able to trade down in the draft if they choose.
 
That's a lot to assume, though. I don't know how succesful they will be in trading down.

The salaries at the top of the draft are out of control. Unless there is a can't miss player there that a team needs, why would others bother?

Also, you probably get the feeling that teams are getting tired of dealing with the Patriots and watching how well it works out for them and makes them that much better. Why keep helping them?
 
If trading for the no. 2 makes their team better or at least they think that way, then I think any team would be willing to deal with the Pats. Plus, they don't have a history of demanding a king's ransom for picks.

I hadn't even thought about it as a negative until now, but drafting a player that high could sure throw a monkey wrench into the works though. Then again, trading for Randy Moss was a move that was somewhat uncharacteristic so who knows how they'll figure it all out - but they will figure it out and make it work in a way that best suits them.

Darren McFadden wouldn't look to bad in a Pats uniform though. :drool:
 
phanan said:


Also, you probably get the feeling that teams are getting tired of dealing with the Patriots and watching how well it works out for them and makes them that much better. Why keep helping them?
Click to expand...
Yeah Belichick and Pioli seem to be chanelling Red Auerbach of late with their trades, eventually the rest of the NBA weren't so eager to deal with the Celts...same could happen to the PAts.
 
phanan said:
That's a lot to assume, though. I don't know how succesful they will be in trading down.

The salaries at the top of the draft are out of control. Unless there is a can't miss player there that a team needs, why would others bother?

Also, you probably get the feeling that teams are getting tired of dealing with the Patriots and watching how well it works out for them and makes them that much better. Why keep helping them?
Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure at least one team would be happy to swap first-round picks with the Patriots straight-up and take, say, Glenn Dorsey.
 
If Giselle sees the way Tommy boy was checking her out, no Victoria's Secret catalogue for Christmas this year.

Boy does she look tiny between them.
 
speedracer said:


I'm pretty sure at least one team would be happy to swap first-round picks with the Patriots straight-up and take, say, Glenn Dorsey.
Click to expand...

It's possible, but teams will know how badly the Patriots will want to move down and not offer as much as the value of that pick. Then again, the Patriots might be inclined to take less just to get out of paying someone more guaranteed money than they just shelled out for Adalius Thomas. Either way, I see it as more of a negative for them.

Think about it - when was the last time a team further down in the first round traded up to a team in the top five? The only trades that have happened recently have been between teams already in the top five. And that's because it's just too much for a team to give up to even trade up to begin with, let alone turning around and paying someone an astronomical amount of money.

The Patriots might very well be stuck with the pick. Now, perhaps they'll luck out and get a superstar, but more often than not, you get a bust instead. Combine that with the possibility of getting their salary cap just a bit out of whack, and other teams might see it as an advantage NOT to make any deals with them.
 
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