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Old 02-28-2008, 05:29 PM   #856
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Do your legs creak when you walk?
This one went over my head.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:30 PM   #857
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What's wrong with having a romantic idea of sex? Maybe it would enhance your own experiences.
The sex I have is pretty damn amazing.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:30 PM   #858
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Yeah but the ability to persevere through the forearm cramp to finish is also key.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

See SHE knows!
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:30 PM   #859
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Or the other way. Is there any more beautiful phrase than "I'm almost there!" You better be, my fingers haven't had any blood in them for 15 minutes.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:30 PM   #860
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The sex I have is pretty damn amazing.
That's because your gf has a better rack than Scarlett. Oh, wait, that was Wayne, sorry.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:31 PM   #861
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Original Haiku:

Screwtape you are pure
Don't take this the wrong way, but
please go fuck yourself


Seriously Screwtape, take it from a woman, if you have never even masturbated the first time you have sex it will be over in about 18 seconds and she will be completely unsatisfied with "making love" to you. If you want to make it special for her, learn how to make it last (but not too long unless you have a lot of lube).
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:31 PM   #862
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No, that won't be happening either.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:32 PM   #863
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Seriously Screwtape, take it from a woman, if you have never even masturbated the first time you have sex it will be over in about 18 seconds and she will be completely unsatisfied with "making love" to you. If you want to make it special for her, learn how to make it last (but not too long unless you have a lot of lube).
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:32 PM   #864
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Originally posted by No spoken words


That's because your gf has a better rack than Scarlett. Oh, wait, that was Wayne, sorry.
Good lord!


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Old 02-28-2008, 05:32 PM   #865
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Or the other way. Is there any more beautiful phrase than "I'm almost there!" You better be, my fingers haven't had any blood in them for 15 minutes.
Fuck, do you know how annoying it is to get a jaw cramp because you won't fucking come already despite my fabulous blowjob skills? Also, if you'd just do it right you could totally get her off sooner. It's remarkably hard to get me to come but the guys who have done it have succeeded in like 3-5 minutes.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:33 PM   #866
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That's because your gf has a better rack than Scarlett. Oh, wait, that was Wayne, sorry.
My girlfriend's the one who has Scarlett's body only with boobs that aren't quite as big, but a butt that sticks up just a little bit more.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:33 PM   #867
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Fuck, do you know how annoying it is to get a jaw cramp because you won't fucking come already despite my fabulous blowjob skills? Also, if you'd just do it right you could totally get her off sooner. It's remarkably hard to get me to come but the guys who have done it have succeeded in like 3-5 minutes.

/thread.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:34 PM   #868
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What's wrong with having a romantic idea of sex? Maybe it would enhance your own experiences.
I've had romantic sex with a guy I was in love with. He wasn't particularly great in bed though. So while it was nice and all, especially at first, it got really boring fast. Not good for a relationship. In the moment, I'd take amazing sex with a stranger, for life, I won't marry someone who isn't really good in bed.
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:34 PM   #869
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Fuck, do you know how annoying it is to get a jaw cramp because you won't fucking come already despite my fabulous blowjob skills?
Maybe you're not as amazing as you think?
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:35 PM   #870
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Fuck, do you know how annoying it is to get a jaw cramp because you won't fucking come already despite my fabulous blowjob skills? Also, if you'd just do it right you could totally get her off sooner. It's remarkably hard to get me to come but the guys who have done it have succeeded in like 3-5 minutes.
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