Joke Thread... - Page 4 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 11-24-2008, 01:30 PM   #46
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
When Warren Zevon died, he was surprised to find himself in rock-n-roll heaven. St. Peter was showing him around, introducing him to all the departed rock stars. Visiting a fantastic music studio, he saw Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, John Bonham, Mama Cass, etc., etc.
Suddenly, with a flourish, Bono walked into the studio and joined in the jam.
Zevon gasped to St. Peter: 'I didn't know Bono died!'
'Oh no,' replied Peter 'That's God - he just THINKS he's Bono.'
__________________

__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:36 PM   #47
Blue Crack Distributor
 
bonocomet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: California :)
Posts: 67,031
Local Time: 12:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRocksU2 View Post
Q: Why did Bono fall off the stage?
A: He was too close to The Edge.
Ok you made that one up.

You told some good ones
__________________

__________________
bonocomet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:39 PM   #48
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM


actually, I went to Google and asked; u2 jokes
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:41 PM   #49
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
Q: how many members of U2 does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: one. Bono holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:44 PM   #50
New Yorker
 
youtooellen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,580
Local Time: 03:02 PM
^ Holy shit. Your jokes were freaking awesome.
__________________
youtooellen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:44 PM   #51
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:45 PM   #52
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
What Do You call the Edges Black Stratocaster?
An Strat Dubh.
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:47 PM   #53
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
ok, I found this one too;

It's Christmas time, and U2 have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs. They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
'What's the matter The Edge?' he says.
'Ah look it's nothing Bono' says the guitarist, 'It's just - you know that Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad.'
'Well, The Edge,' replies Bono, 'if you want to pull out of the gigs you just say so.'
Edge shakes his head. 'No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me - I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts.'
'That's the spirit The Edge', says Bono, and so that night they take the stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax, because it's for charity, they're going to perform 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen Jr. and his drumkit.
'Jaysis The Edge!' yells Larry, 'Those are brand new drums! What the hell are you doing?'
Poor Edge is mortified. 'Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry, it's this flu.'
Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. 'The Edge, that was disgusting, I don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not well.'
'No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the show must go on.'
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as 'Do They Know It's Christmas' starts Edge begins to feel sick. He desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over. Copiously.
'Me best leather waistcoat!' howls Adam Clayton, 'The Edge you're more beast than man!'
Edge is white as a sheet. 'Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more sorry.'
Bono is furious after the gig. 'The Edge you've gone too far this time, you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill in tomorrow, you've got to rest up.'
Edge is almost in tears, 'Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise, you have to let me play.'
'OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2.'
The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even 'Discotheque' sounds alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start 'Do They Know It's Christmas' and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - 'Bono I can explain, I'm truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am.'
Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
'Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew.'
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 01:59 PM   #54
Galeonbroad
 
Galeongirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Schoo Fishtank
Posts: 70,773
Local Time: 09:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRocksU2 View Post
What Do You call the Edges Black Stratocaster?
An Strat Dubh.
Guitar + U2 jokes = win.


Myea, most of these u2 jokes are pretty old Carlos.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceRyan View Post
And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
Galeongirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 02:03 PM   #55
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
I know, I act found some of them from a thread back in '02.
And when I found the Strat joke, I knew you would like it.
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 03:31 PM   #56
Blue Crack Addict
 
kafrun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Upside-down
Posts: 19,644
Local Time: 01:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRocksU2 View Post
Why can't mexicans be firemen?

They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b
Ok, Jose

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRocksU2 View Post
ok, I found this one too;

It's Christmas time, and U2 have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs. They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
'What's the matter The Edge?' he says.
'Ah look it's nothing Bono' says the guitarist, 'It's just - you know that Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad.'
'Well, The Edge,' replies Bono, 'if you want to pull out of the gigs you just say so.'
Edge shakes his head. 'No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me - I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts.'
'That's the spirit The Edge', says Bono, and so that night they take the stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax, because it's for charity, they're going to perform 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen Jr. and his drumkit.
'Jaysis The Edge!' yells Larry, 'Those are brand new drums! What the hell are you doing?'
Poor Edge is mortified. 'Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry, it's this flu.'
Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. 'The Edge, that was disgusting, I don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not well.'
'No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the show must go on.'
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as 'Do They Know It's Christmas' starts Edge begins to feel sick. He desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over. Copiously.
'Me best leather waistcoat!' howls Adam Clayton, 'The Edge you're more beast than man!'
Edge is white as a sheet. 'Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more sorry.'
Bono is furious after the gig. 'The Edge you've gone too far this time, you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill in tomorrow, you've got to rest up.'
Edge is almost in tears, 'Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise, you have to let me play.'
'OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2.'
The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even 'Discotheque' sounds alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start 'Do They Know It's Christmas' and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - 'Bono I can explain, I'm truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am.'
Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
'Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew.'
Too long. Didn't read it.
__________________
kafrun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 04:09 PM   #57
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kafrun View Post


Too long. Didn't read it.
It does not sound right when you say it, Missy.
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 04:13 PM   #58
Blue Crack Addict
 
kafrun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Upside-down
Posts: 19,644
Local Time: 01:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRocksU2 View Post
It does not sound right when you say it, Missy.
Oh yeah? Guess what? YOUR FACE.
__________________
kafrun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 04:14 PM   #59
Blue Crack Addict
 
RedRocksU2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Murrieta, CA.
Posts: 26,437
Local Time: 01:02 PM
Ok, that sounded good.
__________________
RedRocksU2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2008, 04:16 PM   #60
Blue Crack Addict
 
kafrun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Upside-down
Posts: 19,644
Local Time: 01:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRocksU2 View Post
Ok, that sounded good.
Yep. That was the joke.
__________________

__________________
kafrun is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com