funny stories

[Earl-Of-IMDb]

Post here what has been a funny situation that has happen to you.

Some weeks ago, My friends and I decided to make a trip to the local waterpark. Later on that day, we were on line to be on this surf ride that consist on you laying flat on your belly and a wave will hit you and you have to ride like it was a surfboard, long story short, this guy was next on line, he ran, jump on the board and begin ridin' the wave, then for about three minutes later, the wave would hit hard that it would start to push his shorts down and it kept coming down, and down, and down to a point were his shorts were completely off down to his feet and there you have him ridin the wave completely NAKED, he was not wearing any underwear nor had a shirt on so you can imagine....you could imagine the reaction of the crowd, anyways he was on it for the longest time for about 5 minutes naked and he seem like he had no problem with that. the finally got of the ride, pick his trunks up and walked off waveing.

there is this other story, were I watched thi food commercial. a commercial was going on about a dish that looked good at sight, and i was starting to like it and crave it, and it looked good but later on i see this cat walking to this dish I totally wanted to eat, it was cat food to my surprise..so it fooled me.

 

[bonoishot]

^ That guys story it similar to mine.

I've already posted this in the confessions thread but might as well add it here.

I've recently just come back from holiday in Menorca. My first day i was really excited running into the sea. My bikini top came loose and I ended up flashing the whole beach. That was pretty embarassing. Later that day a 3 year old who was travelling in our group fell in the sea and swallowed some water. I picked him up to take him back to his mum and he pulled down my bikini top. Kids. There were also several incidents on our last day when the waves were really big in the ocean and me and my boyfriend were body surfing them. Almost lost my top and bottoms this time. By then i was used to it though, not embarrassed any more.

So yeah, i flashed alot on holiday.

 

[europop2005]

back in Italy i wanted to climb up to the town of Cortona which is positioned on top of a very tall hill. When i got to the train station I realized that the train station was at the very bottom, and there was a 4 or 5 kilometer road heading up to the town. So I gathered all my courage and started hiking it. After a extremely exhausting 3 hour climb in the heat with no water bottle, i finally made it up to the town. When I got there the first thing I saw was the shuttle bus going back down to the train station to pick up the rest of the passengers.

 

[vaz02]

Bonoishot you hussy

 

[Night & Day]

So yeah, i flashed alot on holiday.

I think some photographic evidence is needed in order for me to believe this.

 

[bonoishot]

Bonoishot you hussy

Not intentionally.

I think some photographic evidence is needed in order for me to believe this.

My boyfriend missed the first 2 incidents as he was at the beach bar, not on the beach. When i told him what had happened the first thing he said was "Is there a video?"



There's no evidence.

 

[Night & Day]

 

[forbonou2]

LOL @ Bonoishot!!!!! You go Girl!

 

[mad1]

not very funny story, very short, but true.

years ago, years like mid 90s they used to sell like those body-popper type outifts.

girls here might know what I mean, like a leotard that pops at the bottom.

was wearing one under a shirt ( I think) and so had walked near half a mile to the shop and walked out and could see two wee bucks sort of pointing and laughing, and I just decided to scratch my behind and lo and behold could feel the back end of this leotard type thing sticking out on display. no wonder they laughed. cannot believe I walked near half a mile like this!

 

[Earl-Of-IMDb]

I thought i should bring back this thread to hear some of your funny stories, i'm sure you have some to share!

 

[cobl04]

well i was on a train the other day and i sat down, and there was a feral woman sitting near me. next station a feral man gets on and he says, "where do i know you from?" she says, "ohh yeeeahh the caravan park mayyyte. i stole your TV remember?" "ohhh yeaahhhh how ya goin?" "yeah sorry bout that had to do it." "ohh no worries i understand. how's Jim anyways?" "ohh dunno, i'm fucking some other bloke now..."

i'd have loved to have stayed and listened but i had to get off at the next stop.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

well i was on a train the other day and i sat down, and there was a feral woman sitting near me. next station a feral man gets on and he says, "where do i know you from?" she says, "ohh yeeeahh the caravan park mayyyte. i stole your TV remember?" "ohhh yeaahhhh how ya goin?" "yeah sorry bout that had to do it." "ohh no worries i understand. how's Jim anyways?" "ohh dunno, i'm fucking some other bloke now..."

i'd have loved to have stayed and listened but i had to get off at the next stop.

Hilarious.

 

[The Sad Punk]

I went to my cousin's engagement party last weekend. He's a nurse, now working in Alice Springs, so he has the ability to tell the most horrifying stories with a good laugh. So this is an anecdote I got from him.

One day recently a bloke came in the emergency ward with a terrible injury, claiming he had been bitten. Four cuts ran deep on either side of his hand. Most of his fingers were missing skin. One of them was so bare that the bone was clearly visible. Skin in between his fingers had been completely ripped off, cutting deep in between, blood gushing out from all wounds. Details aside, it was a ferocious bite.

And so, what exactly bit him?

... his wife. Feel good story of the year!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

 

[Diemen]

My dad was attacked by a goose on his way from the office to his car last week. A big, ornery goose that was trying to protect a nearby nest apparently. The thing just would not leave him alone - repeated diving runs at him, I think it even nipped him a few times. Now, of course your first instinct is to laugh when you hear that a goose "attacked" someone. My dad has a bum leg that he can't walk on anymore, so he uses crutches full time. Sure enough, he ended up falling as a result of the, uh, vicious attack. Luckily he didn't break anything (he's broken his leg 7 times...), but did bang up his elbow and just today regained enough motion to be able to blow his nose on his own. I like that that's the measure he used for regaining motion. Day 1: I cannot blow my own nose. Day 3: Still can't blow my nose yet... Day 4: I have regained the ability to blow my nose!

My dad also loves bad and/or corny jokes or puns (us kids lovingly call them "popcorn"), so I got my dad with a good one when I called him after hearing the news:

"So, your animal magnetism got the best of you, eh?"

 

[kramwest1]

This is a little bit of a mean story, but don't get mad at me for sharing.

I think it was my third year at summer camp. I had a couple of friends in the same cabin as me, and obviously several other "new" kids. We were at the awkward pre/early teen age, so you know tensions can run high among a cabin of boys.

Anyway, one new kid surprised us the first night after returning from the showers. He stood in the middle of the cabin in his boxers and rubbed talc on his balls. We were all kind of shocked and too stunned to say anything. Our counselors just tried to ignore it since it would be "lights out" within minutes. The next night, the same thing--a vigorous coating of his crotch with talcum powder. He wasn't taunting us or anything, he just had this ritual.

Camp lasted for 2 weeks, so we were concerned that this would continue the entire time. So, one day we grabbed a salt shaker from the dining hall and while the kid was in the shower, we added some salt to the talc. The kid returned and proceeded to rub himself down. Within seconds he got a terrible look on his face and started yelling. We couldn't contain ourselves and burst out laughing. Our counselors jumped up, one of them grabbed the kid and looked at his crotch and yelled at us, asking what we had done. My friend Dave boldly admitted that we put salt in his talc. The counselors took the kid back to the showers and had him rinse off.

We were scared that we would be in trouble, and when one of our counselors came back, he started to yell at us but couldn't keep a straight face. He just started laughing and said that the talc-ball rubbing was the creepiest thing he had ever seen, but he didn't think he could say anything to the kid about it. (This was at kind of the peak of the camp counselor child molesting time in the U.S.) So, the counselor barely composed himself, told us we were going to apologize and pay the kid for his talc that we ruined and be nice to him from then on.

The kid came back, accepted our group apology, and he was more than glad to get a couple of dollars from each of us, probably $20 total (WAY more than the talc was worth).

The next day, not only did we not get in trouble from the camp leaders, our three in-cabin counselors thanked us. They had been talking about it amongst themselves and didn't know what to do about it. So, we had given them a good laugh and solved their problem at the same time. And the kid learned a cruel lesson in being a teenage boy at camp.

Not the nicest thing to do, but still funny.

 

[Jive Turkey]

A couple weeks ago I was at a big pub in Toronto. We had just got there, but it was already sort of late, so most of the riff raff were already pretty wasted. I was in the washroom when a guy who must've been in his mid 20s came in and started telling me all about how the liquid on the ground was not pee, but water from the leaking pipes. He was fairly drunk and friendly, so I went along with his conversation. When I finished washing my hands, he was standing at the paper towel dispenser and motioned that he would pull the lever to give me paper towel. He must've pulled the lever about 15 times and was like 'oh ya, all thats for you. there ya go'. So I laughed and dried my hands with the massive wad of paper. Then he pumped out the same amount for himself, but instead of drying his hands, he held the massive wad to the sky and started chanting some sort of tribal song. I had no idea what he was doing, so again I laughed and asked him if he just made the song up. He looked at me with a really unimpressed expression and said "No... Its the Lion King... Know your Disney, man.... Get the fuck out of here" and opened the washroom door for me to leave.

 

[nielsgov]

Well once I was playing Singstar with friends. We all went pretty crazy and were jumping a bit and singing very bad and loud. And then one of my friends hit the ceiling very hard with his head. He went down and had a lot of pain but it was really funny. We were also filming ourselves with an Eyetoycamera and we watched for about twenty times and couldn't stop laughing.

 

[The Sad Punk]

A couple weeks ago I was at a big pub in Toronto. We had just got there, but it was already sort of late, so most of the riff raff were already pretty wasted. I was in the washroom when a guy who must've been in his mid 20s came in and started telling me all about how the liquid on the ground was not pee, but water from the leaking pipes. He was fairly drunk and friendly, so I went along with his conversation. When I finished washing my hands, he was standing at the paper towel dispenser and motioned that he would pull the lever to give me paper towel. He must've pulled the lever about 15 times and was like 'oh ya, all thats for you. there ya go'. So I laughed and dried my hands with the massive wad of paper. Then he pumped out the same amount for himself, but instead of drying his hands, he held the massive wad to the sky and started chanting some sort of tribal song. I had no idea what he was doing, so again I laughed and asked him if he just made the song up. He looked at me with a really unimpressed expression and said "No... Its the Lion King... Know your Disney, man.... Get the fuck out of here" and opened the washroom door for me to leave.

I just want to say that I love this.

 

[forbonou2]

LOL! Yes, Know your Disney Man!!!! Now, That was funny!

 

[Vlad n U 2]

A couple weeks ago I was at a big pub in Toronto. We had just got there, but it was already sort of late, so most of the riff raff were already pretty wasted. I was in the washroom when a guy who must've been in his mid 20s came in and started telling me all about how the liquid on the ground was not pee, but water from the leaking pipes. He was fairly drunk and friendly, so I went along with his conversation. When I finished washing my hands, he was standing at the paper towel dispenser and motioned that he would pull the lever to give me paper towel. He must've pulled the lever about 15 times and was like 'oh ya, all thats for you. there ya go'. So I laughed and dried my hands with the massive wad of paper. Then he pumped out the same amount for himself, but instead of drying his hands, he held the massive wad to the sky and started chanting some sort of tribal song. I had no idea what he was doing, so again I laughed and asked him if he just made the song up. He looked at me with a really unimpressed expression and said "No... Its the Lion King... Know your Disney, man.... Get the fuck out of here" and opened the washroom door for me to leave.

Now this is respectable.

 

[The Sad Punk]

respectable.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

 

[The Sad Punk]

It ostensibly doesn't matter, I just don't like the phrase... and want to be a jerk about it.

 

[coolian2]

on a side note, i hate that futurama episode with a passion.







but only because it's so sad

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

I just don't like the phrase

 

[Vlad n U 2]

It ostensibly doesn't matter, I just don't like the phrase... and want to be a jerk about it.

You're forgiven.

on a side note, i hate that futurama episode with a passion.







but only because it's so sad

Who thought that cartoon's could have emotion.

 

[coolian2]

i've always maintained futurama had more potential than the simpsons ever did. the fact that the simpsons is still going strong while futurama is basically kaput is tragic.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

I personally would put it the other way round. Simpson's have dropped off a little bit in recent years while Futurama has always been consistent.

Uh, sorry for hijacking the thread.

 

[waynetravis]

This is a recent one.

On Monday, 29th March, we was closing the store for the day and as I was tidying my department, I walked around to the furniture area and I saw a colleague of mine walking to the front office carrying a plastic box that we sell.
As she passed me on the way she asked me to have a look inside the box, when I looked there was water in it, she told me it was pee.

Someone had walked around the store took a plastic box off the shelf and peed in it, and just left it on the floor.

Today I went into work after having the past 2 days off and my manager asked me about the customer I was with on Saturday afternoon, if I'd recognize him again if I saw him, and I said yes.
(When I was with this customer, he was buying alot of stuff and I opened a business account for him.)

So when my manager took me into the front off he rolled back the camera footage from the front entrance and asked me if the guy who was walking in was my customer, which he was.

We followed him around on the cameras and we found that it was him who got the box and peed in it.
But that wasn't all, after he was done with the box, he went round the aisle and continued to pee in a waste paper bin!!

So not only do we have video of him doing it all, because he opened an account we also have his address and contact details