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Old 01-31-2013, 04:08 PM   #76
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Anyone who is enough of an asshole to get up in arms when receiving a greeting doesn't deserve a happy anything.
Should we accept people's rights to wish their personal preferences upon us?

At memorial services should I feel compelled to say to someone what they want to hear?

I can just tell them, "Be assured your loved one is at the true peace of nothingness that awaits us all."
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Old 01-31-2013, 04:17 PM   #77
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Context is a notion used in the language sciences (linguistics, sociolinguistics, systemic functional linguistics, discourse analysis, pragmatics, semiotics, etc.) in two different ways, namely as

verbal context
social context

Contents

1 Verbal context
2 Social context
3 Multidisciplinary theory
4 Influence
5 References

Verbal context

Verbal context refers to surrounding text or talk of an expression (word, sentence, conversational turn, speech act, etc.). The idea is that verbal context influences the way we understand the expression. Hence the norm not to cite people out of context. Since much contemporary linguistics takes texts, discourses or conversations as its object of analysis, the modern study of verbal context takes place in terms of the analysis of discourse structures and their mutual relationships, for instance the coherence relation between sentences.
Social context

Traditionally, in sociolinguistics, social contexts were defined in terms of objective social variables, such as those of class, gender or race. More recently, social contexts tend to be defined in terms of the social identity being construed and displayed in text and talk by language users. Influenced by space.
Multidisciplinary theory

In his new multidisciplinary theory of context, Teun A. van Dijk rejects objectivist concepts of social context and shows that relevant properties of social situations can only influence language use as subjective definitions of the situation by the participants, as represented and ongoingly updated in specific mental models of language users: context models.
Influence

The influence of context parameters on language use or discourse is usually studied in terms of language variation, style or register (see Stylistics). The basic assumption here is that language users adapt the properties of their language use (such as intonation, lexical choice, syntax, and other aspects of formulation) to the current communicative situation. In this sense, language use or discourse may be called more or less 'appropriate' in a given context. It is the language or derigitave terms surrounding set paragraph, novel or article.
References

De Fina, A., Schiffrin, D., & Bamberg, M. (Eds.). (2006). Discourse and identity. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Duranti, A., & Goodwin, C. (Eds.). (1992). Rethinking context. Language as an interactive phenomenon. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Eckert, P., & Rickford, J. R. (2001). Style and sociolinguistic variation. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Fetzer, A. (2004). Recontextualizing context. Amsterdam: John Benjamins.
Ghadessy, M. (Ed.). (1999). Text and context in functional linguistics. Amsterdam: John Benjamins.
Givón, Talmy. (2005). Context as Other Minds. Amsterdam: John Benjamins.
William Labov (1972). Sociolinguistic patterns. Philadelphia, PA: University of Pennsylvania Press.
Leckie-Tarry, H. (1995). Language & context. A functional linguistic theory of register. London: Pinter Publishers.
Stalnaker, Robert Culp (1999). Context and content. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
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Old 01-31-2013, 04:31 PM   #78
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we can think it's not a big deal because it isn't a big deal to us ... but i have a hunch being a non-Christian (and not just agnostic/atheist) and being told to have a Merry Christmas is a little bit exhausting similar to how i feel when people sometimes ask me point blank if i'm married.

it's like, this is a reasonable question if you are a married or potentially unmarried heterosexual, but when you are a long-term partnered homosexual living in a state that does not yet have marriage equality, you are reminded, just a little bit, that you're different, and oh fun, do i get to do a little coming out or expend the energy to dodge the question? do i care? and then, why do i have to even think about this?

just say "happy holidays" if you want to know if i'm married.
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Old 01-31-2013, 04:42 PM   #79
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I'm not saying the choice of greeting a total stranger uses in passing isn't a big deal to some people.

I'm saying it shouldn't be.

If you choose to expend energy feeling any degree of negativity toward a total stranger for sending out a positive greeting toward you, your priorities are terrible.

And, for you, being asked if you're married stirs up negative associations because of the limitations society places on you in accordance with your sexual orientation. Your reaction makes sense. I don't see how it applies though. Christmas does not limit your freedom.

Playing the numbers game, I've also known far more people who find "happy holidays" patronizing than "merry Christmas" offensive.
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Old 01-31-2013, 04:52 PM   #80
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And, for you, being asked if you're married stirs up negative associations because of the limitations society places on you in accordance with your sexual orientation. Your reaction makes sense. I don't see how it applies though. Christmas does not limit your freedom.

nor does asking if i'm married limit my freedom -- it just reminds me that i'm different.

there are far, far, far worse offenses in the world. but i don't see anything wrong with taking a moment to consider the feelings of others and moderating our assumptions and taking a more inclusive path with our words.




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Playing the numbers game, I've also known far more people who find "happy holidays" patronizing than "merry Christmas" offensive.
why patronizing?
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:02 PM   #81
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we can think it's not a big deal because it isn't a big deal to us ... but i have a hunch being a non-Christian (and not just agnostic/atheist) and being told to have a Merry Christmas is a little bit exhausting similar to how i feel when people sometimes ask me point blank if i'm married.


good lookin' fella like you

you just haven't met the right woman yet
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:08 PM   #82
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there are far, far, far worse offenses in the world. but i don't see anything wrong with taking a moment to consider the feelings of others and moderating our assumptions and taking a more inclusive path with our words.
Wouldn't this lead to require someone, before administering a happy personal greeting, to ask a stranger about their religious beliefs, political leanings, sexual orientation, financial situation, etc? Seems like a lot of effort to go to. You'd just end up with a whole lot of people saying nothing because they are trying to be PC.
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:24 PM   #83
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Playing the numbers game, I've also known far more people who find "happy holidays" patronizing than "merry Christmas" offensive.

as simple as majority imposing on minority
and if you are with the majority, cool

the real question here is, who is being harmed, however small it is
Christians will surely send Christmas cards to each other, and have Chritmas crap all over their homes and churches and other segregated places, that's fine and reasonable
the arogance that they have a right to claim to be offended because in public places they should be asked to show some common courtesy to the 20-25% that do not want any of their hooey, that is offensive?? really

if that is the case then gays, that are only 5%? should just suck it up and participate in our dominate hetero society,

So Irvine, don't worry I am sure you will find a good woman and start a family some day, it's all in God's plan
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:35 PM   #84
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why patronizing?
The argument here is that "happy holidays" is a cookie cutter response, which I don't consider relevant; they're all cookie cutter. Nor am I at all offended by "happy holidays." I just don't understand why anyone would care about a "wrong" greeting when they don't even know the person. If I did and they were trying to anger me, that would be a different matter. In the context we're talking about, the intention is always good.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:39 PM   #85
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The argument here is that "happy holidays" is a cookie cutter response, which I don't consider relevant; they're all cookie cutter. Nor am I at all offended by "happy holidays." I just don't understand why anyone would care about a "wrong" greeting when they don't even know the person. If I did and they were trying to anger me, that would be a different matter. In the context we're talking about, the intention is always good.


maybe i'm reading too fast and, like Donnie, i'm like a child who wanders in to the middle of a movie and wants to know what's going on ... but doesn't it seem that precisely because you don't know the person you should be aware of potentially the wrong greeting?

i understand HH as not cookie cutter but inclusive -- not just of different faiths or non faiths, but to the myriad holidays that happen between Halloween and Orthodox Christmas.
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:40 PM   #86
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Wouldn't this lead to require someone, before administering a happy personal greeting, to ask a stranger about their religious beliefs, political leanings, sexual orientation, financial situation, etc? Seems like a lot of effort to go to. You'd just end up with a whole lot of people saying nothing because they are trying to be PC.

or we're just a little bit more polite?
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:59 PM   #87
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maybe i'm reading too fast and, like Donnie, i'm like a child who wanders in to the middle of a movie and wants to know what's going on ... but doesn't it seem that precisely because you don't know the person you should be aware of potentially the wrong greeting?
No, I fully agree with you on this. It's just the argument I hear from my father and others who subscribe to the War on Christmas.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:31 PM   #88
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maybe i'm reading too fast and, like Donnie, i'm like a child who wanders in to the middle of a movie and wants to know what's going on ... but doesn't it seem that precisely because you don't know the person you should be aware of potentially the wrong greeting?
I live and work in a town with a large Jewish population. I've been wished a Happy Hanukkah before, and I actually enjoy the religious-specific reference. For me, it's humanizing. I've never been offended by someone who wishes me a blessing according to their own tradition.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:42 PM   #89
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I live and work in a town with a large Jewish population. I've been wished a Happy Hanukkah before, and I actually enjoy the religious-specific reference. For me, it's humanizing. I've never been offended by someone who wishes me a blessing according to their own tradition.
If I was told Happy Hannukah I'd probably smile and say "to you too"
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:13 PM   #90
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I live and work in a town with a large Jewish population. I've been wished a Happy Hanukkah before, and I actually enjoy the religious-specific reference. For me, it's humanizing. I've never been offended by someone who wishes me a blessing according to their own tradition.
are you passing for Jewish in this Jewish dominated community, or is the greeter making a wrong assumption, do you think they would say that to a couple of Mormon missionaries on bikes in white short sleeves with name tags on?
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