bluephisto
War Child
I dare you.
Crappiest of all crap. Super crap. Uber crap. High crap.
I need to laugh. Desperately.
Crappiest of all crap. Super crap. Uber crap. High crap.
I need to laugh. Desperately.
Make me laugh
- Thread starter bluephisto
- Start date
The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
WildeIrish796
War Child
allright, Bluey, I'll try to help, but I warn you: these may not be very funny, but they are gaurenteed to make you question how many good jokes are actually left in the world.
A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee
the waiter brings him the coffee
the man takes a sip, spits it out and says
"this coffee tastes like mud!"
the waiter shrugs and says:
"it was ground this morning"
Two scientists, one russian and one czecheslovakian
were studying a pair of bears in the woods
one day, they went missing and a search party was called out
the search party caught the female bear and cut her open
and found the russian inside
they said "that solves it! the czech is in the mail!"
An engineer, a preist and a doctor were all sentenced to die by guillotine
on the day of the execution, the three of them were led to the guilotine
the preist was put up on the block, they pulled the chain to bring down the blade and nothing happened
they figured it was a sign from god that the preist was to be saved so they set him free
the doctor was next up. they pulled the chain and again nothing happened. they set him free too.
as they were putting the engineer in place he asked to be put facing the blade. being his last request, they did.
before the executioner pulled the chain, the engineer pointed up at the blade and cried
"oh, there's your problem, right there!"
there ya go, Bluey, the three worst jokes I can think of.
not the best in the world, but I hope they made you laugh 
A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee
the waiter brings him the coffee
the man takes a sip, spits it out and says
"this coffee tastes like mud!"
the waiter shrugs and says:
"it was ground this morning"
Two scientists, one russian and one czecheslovakian
were studying a pair of bears in the woods
one day, they went missing and a search party was called out
the search party caught the female bear and cut her open
and found the russian inside
they said "that solves it! the czech is in the mail!"
An engineer, a preist and a doctor were all sentenced to die by guillotine
on the day of the execution, the three of them were led to the guilotine
the preist was put up on the block, they pulled the chain to bring down the blade and nothing happened
they figured it was a sign from god that the preist was to be saved so they set him free
the doctor was next up. they pulled the chain and again nothing happened. they set him free too.
as they were putting the engineer in place he asked to be put facing the blade. being his last request, they did.
before the executioner pulled the chain, the engineer pointed up at the blade and cried
"oh, there's your problem, right there!"
there ya go, Bluey, the three worst jokes I can think of.
not the best in the world, but I hope they made you laugh 
oliveu2cm
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
I wore pink today.
tackleberry
War Child
What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my Tractor."
"Where's my Tractor."
tiny dancer
Blue Crack Distributor
I don't have a joke, but I do have a .
.
FishNeedsABicycle
Refugee
Tell me my dear...do you remember these?
*MPS FLASHBACK*
Dodododododododododod (wayne's world style)
oh they are sooooo good...like slap your momma good - fishy
"The smile! The neck! The bubble pants!" ~Opal
Dispatch War Rocket Ajax to bring back his body! *wink to Opal*
"GOSH he is so freakin...*thud* as macphisto..." - fishy
"I probably used the least snoods ever, but then I died in evil number 1, and didn't even make my high score list....arg. I hate that."
~You know who you are...
And then there was the time I almost killed Opal's bitchy boss...
about fishy "she quickly becomes the high voodoo priestess of MPS" - bluey
"fishy is deadly" -opal
bluephisto: *picks navel*
bluephisto: ooh lint
vacant enigma: lol dont eat it
vacant enigma: lol
bluephisto: lol really?
bluephisto: *stops self*
vacant enigma: LOL
Opal: Yeah, Mirrorballman is a long name to moan during sex.
vacant enigma: stand on the keyboard and type with toes so u can talk out of ur ass
sara: roflmao bono is hilarious
the fish: I know he is just sucha professional dipshit
MacFishto: Bono didn't do MacPhisto for the US did he?
MacFishto: he started that in Europe right?
vacant enigma: um i'm not sure. i thought it was like 3rd leg of zoo
MacFishto: cause we got cheeseball Mirrorball Man
MacFishto: you know...with that decision...
MacFishto: it's amazing they didn't lose their entire american fan base
MacFishto: sheesh
vacant enigma: ROFL
someone who will go unnamed: *jedi master of BJ's*
vacant enigma: ROFL
MacFishto: I JUST MADE THE BEST TYPO
vacant enigma: ROFL NICE
MacFishto: I MEANT to type "he had an angel in his HANDS"
MacFishto: he had an angel in his nads
vacant enigma: ROFLMAO
JCLD23: u guys are mean. i just bite their heads off
Fishy: except Bono and edge who have sex forever and ever amen
vacant enigma: then opal can have the new jesus
"man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it" ~Olivephisto
"not Queen goofy....but for U2 it was goofy" ~Fishy
"I think "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" "Flash Gordon" and "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" all need to come in a boxed set..."The Cheeseball Collectors Edition" ~Fishy
"see it's good that the bennetts have tapeworms" ? fishy
olive: what a biiiiiiiooooooooootch
olive: actually we say it like this
olive: Beeeee
olive: as in "bee"
olive: lol
olive: then
olive: "otch"
olive: like "crotch" w/ot the CR
"booty is a kind of bland snack...but everyonce in a while...hooooo-boy!!!!" - fishy
I wish I didn't have a reason cuz then I wouldn't really have a reason ~Opal
"we can have some virtual snacks later on together - maybe fishy will even share her unusual bum food?" ? olive
"OH MY GOSH I GOT ZOOOOOOOO!!!!" - fishy
MacFishto: I am soooooooo wasted....
MacFishto: I can hardly tyupe
vacant enigma: hahahah
vacant enigma: i can tell
MacFishto: hahahhahahahahahaa
vacant enigma: superbowl party?
MacFishto: Yeah we have been partying since 2pm...I am wasted but tryihng to write a paoer...lol
vacant enigma: lololol
MacFishto: tihs is goin to be a goooood pareo\p
MacFishto: peper
MacFishto: paper
vacant enigma: suuure it is
MacFishto:
MacFishto: I am laughing at the Geneseo hostage situation...LOL
Ummm...how do you spell "Phisto?" ~Flower Shop Lady
"Bono: I always want to keep putting letters on the end of sara"
~in Opal's dream.
Organized People are just too lazy to look for things ~fishy
"wooohooo! I made a blog!!!" - fishy
vacant enigma: someone once said that trent's cds go in stages
vacant enigma: pretty hate machine is the "i hate everything and i want to die" cd
vacant enigma: broken is the "i hate everything and i want to kill" cd
MacFishto: hahahaha
vacant enigma: downward is the "i hate everythign and i wanna fuck" cd
MacFishto: hahahahhaah
MacFishto: the fragile?
vacant enigma: and then i call the fragile "i hate everything but i'm doing better' cd lol
MacFishto: HAHHAHAHAHAHA
He'd probably kill himself if he heard himself called cute...*ahem* Trent you are so SCARY! *runs and hides from big SCARY Trent* ~Fishy
I have to pee...see trent scared the pee out of me...Ohhhhh you scary(not cute) boy...~Fishy
i had another card that year too cuz i figured ppl who didnt know/like NIN wouldn't get it, and wouldn't appreciate "fuck" in their xmas card ~Opal
MacFishto: and the glorious thing about the MPS...
MacFishto: YOU NEVER NEED A CONCLUSION!!!
MacFishto: *has been stalked*
vacant enigma: *me too*
MacFishto: HIGH FIVE!
vacant enigma: ROCK ON!!!
vacant enigma: lol
MacFishto: hahahahahaha
MacFishto: that's going in the sigs lol
vacant enigma: LOL i was just gonna do it!
my mom: got BONO TIME
me: ROFL YOU SAID BONO TIME!
MoonKattt: oh, the galleries are fun
MacFishto: Opal did all the framing...she licks ass
MacFishto: KICKS!
MacFishto: LMAO
vacant enigma: u guys are gonna get shot
vacant enigma: by secret service
vacant enigma: who think ur some kind of weird terrorists
MacFishto: I KNOW!
vacant enigma: LOL
MacFishto: I told Julie we are going to make the news GAURANTEED!
vacant enigma: *theres a strange girl humping the sidewalk in front of the capitol building*
vacant enigma: *do you have a good shot*
MacFishto: LMAO!!!!!!!!!
vacant enigma: *there are 2 girls staring at her*
vacant enigma: *take em out*
vacant enigma: LOL
Opal's take on the pics from said trip...
*this is mona licking the washington monument, oh I mean the elevation monument*
*this is mona humping the capitol building stairs*
*this is mona getting arrested for above humping*
Oh you know what...it may just be my ear hole- fishy
vacant enigma: its got cory haim and cory feldman!!!
vacant enigma: and keifer
vacant enigma: and that guy who is hot wtf was hius name
vacant enigma: peter something maybe...
vacant enigma: but the hot guy!!
vacant enigma: jason patric
vacant enigma: ok so it wasnt peter, but it was stilla P name
MacFishto: HAHAHHAHA
vacant enigma: hahah
MacFishto: it might have been carebears...
vacant enigma: ROFL
*MPS FLASHBACK*
Dodododododododododod (wayne's world style)
oh they are sooooo good...like slap your momma good - fishy
"The smile! The neck! The bubble pants!" ~Opal
Dispatch War Rocket Ajax to bring back his body! *wink to Opal*
"GOSH he is so freakin...*thud* as macphisto..." - fishy
"I probably used the least snoods ever, but then I died in evil number 1, and didn't even make my high score list....arg. I hate that."
~You know who you are...
And then there was the time I almost killed Opal's bitchy boss...
about fishy "she quickly becomes the high voodoo priestess of MPS" - bluey
"fishy is deadly" -opal
bluephisto: *picks navel*
bluephisto: ooh lint
vacant enigma: lol dont eat it
vacant enigma: lol
bluephisto: lol really?
bluephisto: *stops self*
vacant enigma: LOL
Opal: Yeah, Mirrorballman is a long name to moan during sex.
vacant enigma: stand on the keyboard and type with toes so u can talk out of ur ass
sara: roflmao bono is hilarious
the fish: I know he is just sucha professional dipshit
MacFishto: Bono didn't do MacPhisto for the US did he?
MacFishto: he started that in Europe right?
vacant enigma: um i'm not sure. i thought it was like 3rd leg of zoo
MacFishto: cause we got cheeseball Mirrorball Man
MacFishto: you know...with that decision...
MacFishto: it's amazing they didn't lose their entire american fan base
MacFishto: sheesh
vacant enigma: ROFL
someone who will go unnamed: *jedi master of BJ's*
vacant enigma: ROFL
MacFishto: I JUST MADE THE BEST TYPO
vacant enigma: ROFL NICE
MacFishto: I MEANT to type "he had an angel in his HANDS"
MacFishto: he had an angel in his nads
vacant enigma: ROFLMAO
JCLD23: u guys are mean. i just bite their heads off
Fishy: except Bono and edge who have sex forever and ever amen
vacant enigma: then opal can have the new jesus
"man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it" ~Olivephisto
"not Queen goofy....but for U2 it was goofy" ~Fishy
"I think "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" "Flash Gordon" and "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" all need to come in a boxed set..."The Cheeseball Collectors Edition" ~Fishy
"see it's good that the bennetts have tapeworms" ? fishy
olive: what a biiiiiiiooooooooootch
olive: actually we say it like this
olive: Beeeee
olive: as in "bee"
olive: lol
olive: then
olive: "otch"
olive: like "crotch" w/ot the CR
"booty is a kind of bland snack...but everyonce in a while...hooooo-boy!!!!" - fishy
I wish I didn't have a reason cuz then I wouldn't really have a reason ~Opal
"we can have some virtual snacks later on together - maybe fishy will even share her unusual bum food?" ? olive
"OH MY GOSH I GOT ZOOOOOOOO!!!!" - fishy
MacFishto: I am soooooooo wasted....
MacFishto: I can hardly tyupe
vacant enigma: hahahah
vacant enigma: i can tell
MacFishto: hahahhahahahahahaa
vacant enigma: superbowl party?
MacFishto: Yeah we have been partying since 2pm...I am wasted but tryihng to write a paoer...lol
vacant enigma: lololol
MacFishto: tihs is goin to be a goooood pareo\p
MacFishto: peper
MacFishto: paper
vacant enigma: suuure it is
MacFishto:
MacFishto: I am laughing at the Geneseo hostage situation...LOL
Ummm...how do you spell "Phisto?" ~Flower Shop Lady
"Bono: I always want to keep putting letters on the end of sara"
~in Opal's dream.
Organized People are just too lazy to look for things ~fishy
"wooohooo! I made a blog!!!" - fishy
vacant enigma: someone once said that trent's cds go in stages
vacant enigma: pretty hate machine is the "i hate everything and i want to die" cd
vacant enigma: broken is the "i hate everything and i want to kill" cd
MacFishto: hahahaha
vacant enigma: downward is the "i hate everythign and i wanna fuck" cd
MacFishto: hahahahhaah
MacFishto: the fragile?
vacant enigma: and then i call the fragile "i hate everything but i'm doing better' cd lol
MacFishto: HAHHAHAHAHAHA
He'd probably kill himself if he heard himself called cute...*ahem* Trent you are so SCARY! *runs and hides from big SCARY Trent* ~Fishy
I have to pee...see trent scared the pee out of me...Ohhhhh you scary(not cute) boy...~Fishy
i had another card that year too cuz i figured ppl who didnt know/like NIN wouldn't get it, and wouldn't appreciate "fuck" in their xmas card ~Opal
MacFishto: and the glorious thing about the MPS...
MacFishto: YOU NEVER NEED A CONCLUSION!!!
MacFishto: *has been stalked*
vacant enigma: *me too*
MacFishto: HIGH FIVE!
vacant enigma: ROCK ON!!!
vacant enigma: lol
MacFishto: hahahahahaha
MacFishto: that's going in the sigs lol
vacant enigma: LOL i was just gonna do it!
my mom: got BONO TIME
me: ROFL YOU SAID BONO TIME!
MoonKattt: oh, the galleries are fun
MacFishto: Opal did all the framing...she licks ass
MacFishto: KICKS!
MacFishto: LMAO
vacant enigma: u guys are gonna get shot
vacant enigma: by secret service
vacant enigma: who think ur some kind of weird terrorists
MacFishto: I KNOW!
vacant enigma: LOL
MacFishto: I told Julie we are going to make the news GAURANTEED!
vacant enigma: *theres a strange girl humping the sidewalk in front of the capitol building*
vacant enigma: *do you have a good shot*
MacFishto: LMAO!!!!!!!!!
vacant enigma: *there are 2 girls staring at her*
vacant enigma: *take em out*
vacant enigma: LOL
Opal's take on the pics from said trip...
*this is mona licking the washington monument, oh I mean the elevation monument*
*this is mona humping the capitol building stairs*
*this is mona getting arrested for above humping*
Oh you know what...it may just be my ear hole- fishy
vacant enigma: its got cory haim and cory feldman!!!
vacant enigma: and keifer
vacant enigma: and that guy who is hot wtf was hius name
vacant enigma: peter something maybe...
vacant enigma: but the hot guy!!
vacant enigma: jason patric
vacant enigma: ok so it wasnt peter, but it was stilla P name
MacFishto: HAHAHHAHA
vacant enigma: hahah
MacFishto: it might have been carebears...
vacant enigma: ROFL
oliveu2cm
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
I remember these!
ROFL
FishNeedsABicycle said:And then there was the time I almost killed Opal's bitchy boss...
Opal: Yeah, Mirrorballman is a long name to moan during sex.
JCLD23: u guys are mean. i just bite their heads off
Ummm...how do you spell "Phisto?" ~Flower Shop Lady
"Bono: I always want to keep putting letters on the end of sara"
~in Opal's dream.
i had another card that year too cuz i figured ppl who didnt know/like NIN wouldn't get it, and wouldn't appreciate "fuck" in their xmas card ~Opal
MoonKattt: oh, the galleries are fun
MacFishto: Opal did all the framing...she licks ass
MacFishto: KICKS!
MacFishto: LMAO
ROFL
BonoBabe40
War Child
Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson and Arnold Schwarzenagger will be acting as famous musicians.
"I'll be Mozart" said Bruce.
"I'll be Beethoven," said Mel.
That just left Arnold. He thought it over carefully and said "I'll be Bach."
"I'll be Mozart" said Bruce.
"I'll be Beethoven," said Mel.
That just left Arnold. He thought it over carefully and said "I'll be Bach."
*BOOMCHAA!*
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
I am funny.
bluephisto
War Child
LMAO.
Thanks guys!
Sorry, I haven't been in lately. I actually forgot I made this thread.
*dork*
I love the jokes. The tractor one made me groan. ROTFL at the sigs. You bad phistos you.
Yes, Boomchaa. You are funny ... smelling.
THANKSSSS!!!!
*HUGS FOR ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD BONO*
(I just made that up all by myself. OHHHHH yeah.)
Thanks guys!
Sorry, I haven't been in lately. I actually forgot I made this thread.
*dork*
I love the jokes. The tractor one made me groan. ROTFL at the sigs. You bad phistos you.
Yes, Boomchaa. You are funny ... smelling.
THANKSSSS!!!!
*HUGS FOR ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD BONO*
(I just made that up all by myself. OHHHHH yeah.)
Similar threads
