I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

[onebloodonelife]

So, for the longest time, I've considered myself to be straight (I'm in my teens, for the record). But, something just seemed off. I thought maybe I'm bisexual, or possibly lesbian. Right now, I'm not going to label myself. Anyway, I'm working at a new job, and developed a really strong crush on another woman. Well, last night, we made out, and it was the most freeing, liberating, exciting experience I've had in a very, very long time. So, obviously, she knows, and another good friend at work knows because she was at dinner with us. But, I haven't come out to anyone else. I have a feeling that I'll come out, and everyone will be like, "Yeah, we know...we were just waiting for you to say it." That's completely fine with me. Apparently, these two women had me pegged as at least bi from the beginning. I'm definitely okay with myself and my sexual orientation. Being bi, lesbian, whatever, doesn't bother me in the least bit. What I'm curious about is other people's coming out stories. How did you do it? I'm guessing that I'll just know when the time is right, but now that I'm at the point that I know I'm not straight, that would be the next step sometime.

 

[Zoots]

I hope you're able to figure it out without problems or prejudice from people! Good luck!

 

[onebloodonelife]

Awww, thanks Zoots! I'm not particularly worried about prejudice from people...maybe my dad and his parents will have a slight problem with it, but I think that they'll get over it.

 

[Irvine511]

i don't have a coming out story, it was a long process, and most of my friends were like, "well, duh."

it's different for everyone, but i know exactly how you feel -- my first time with a man was like a long drink of water after walking through the desert. it was like, "finally, at long last, it makes sense."

so congratulations. it's not an easy thing to do. and it gets easier and easier until, one day, you don't even notice it at all.

 

[onebloodonelife]

it's different for everyone, but i know exactly how you feel -- my first time with a man was like a long drink of water after walking through the desert. it was like, "finally, at long last, it makes sense."

so congratulations. it's not an easy thing to do. and it gets easier and easier until, one day, you don't even notice it at all.

Yes! That's exactly how it was, I just knew at that point for sure. And, everything made sense.

Thank you so much for replying. I don't feel like I'm ready to come out to anyone significant right now, but like you said, I'm sure it will be a long, ongoing process.

 

[redhotswami]

you're in your teans? are you effing kidding me?

anyway, i'll cast aside my amazement at your wisdom for such a young lass to address the topic...

i'm very happy for you! at this moment, i wouldn't worry too much about labels or anything. follow your heart. that's the best advice i can give

 

[onebloodonelife]

Honestly, I get the way too wise and mature for my age thing a lot...lots of factors go into it.

Thanks for the advice, Mia! For once, following my heart was correct, and I'll continue to listen to it.

 

[bonocrazy88]

Wow congratulations onebloodonelife for having such a great epiphany. It just makes me so happy to hear about people finding things that make them happy and embracing themselves for who they are and not worrying about what others may think! Good luck with everything!

 

[Lila64]

I'm happy for you in that you are discovering who you are and what makes you happy. You know I wish you all the best

(back to our IM )

 

[onebloodonelife]

Lila, Thanks so much for your encouragement and kind words.

(and yes, back to the IM )

 

[love_u2_adam]

 

[Lancemc]

I'm very happy for you. It's nice to see anyone "find their path" so to speak, in any situation. As long as you're happier, that's all that matters isn't it?

I witnessed a similar experience with one of my best friends from high school some time last year. All throughout the six years I've known him he's been very "odd" about his sexuality. But he was a very odd kid. Remarkably intelligent, brilliant computer-nerd-type, extremely talented at pretty much everything he did, and had an unusually off-colour sense of humor. Anyway, the point is, he gave a lot of ambiguous hints throughout high school, and by the time we were all seniors, my friend Matt, who can be a real asshole sometimes, was just pestering him like "Dude! Just tell us if you're gay! We just want to know!" That went on for several months, but Luke remained silent. It odd because he never confirmed nor denied anything.

Then one day last year, I just asked him straight-out (no pun intended) what the deal was, and that I was just curious. He told me yeah, he was gay, and had been for a long time, it's just that he doesn't openly advertise it. Cool. I told Matt and others afterwards and they were just "Well, shit, that's all he had to say!" Yeah, not too courteous, so I can't blame Luke for not spilling the beans earlier.

But it was interesting, because he is really me only gay friend, and apparently has been for years and years and I didn't even know it. I only say it's interesting because absolutely nothing has changed since he "came out". The stigma surrounding homosexuality is really just dumbfounding.

 

[Screwtape2]

You're an incredibly brave young woman, onebloodonelife. It takes a lot of courage to discover and accept this so quickly. No matter how others take the news, remember that they will realize it makes you happy. It's only a matter of time. You are very brave to admit this and be so open about it. I hope everyone has the kindness and vision to see the beauty in this: your happiness. I truly hope that the future goes smoothly.

Thank you for the confession and bravery. Everyone should be thankful for the fact that you would be open about it with us.

 

[waynetravis]

s for you, Cassie. All the best!!

 

[onebloodonelife]

Kayla-

Lance-Thanks, yeah, I'm happier than I have been in a really long time, and that's all that matters to me. I actually sound a lot like your friend Luke. Not to sound full of myself, but I'm pretty smart, a huge nerd...in the best possible way , and I love to joke around about nearly anything and everything, but I was never very open about my sexuality. I mean, I didn't know for sure anyway, but if I did, I can't see myself just announcing it to everybody. I can only hope that my friends will be as accepting as you were with your friend.

Screwtape-Thank you so much! I think that I'm able to accept it so quickly because I had my own suspicions before, I just needed confirmation. I hope that my friends and family will see that I'm happy, really truly happy.

Wayne-

 

[RedRocksU2]

Congrats!
Enjoy life.

 

[JCOSTER]

Be true to yourself.

 

[struckpx]

So, for the longest time, I've considered myself to be straight (I'm in my teens, for the record). But, something just seemed off. I thought maybe I'm bisexual, or possibly lesbian. Right now, I'm not going to label myself. Anyway, I'm working at a new job, and developed a really strong crush on another woman. Well, last night, we made out, and it was the most freeing, liberating, exciting experience I've had in a very, very long time. So, obviously, she knows, and another good friend at work knows because she was at dinner with us. But, I haven't come out to anyone else. I have a feeling that I'll come out, and everyone will be like, "Yeah, we know...we were just waiting for you to say it." That's completely fine with me. Apparently, these two women had me pegged as at least bi from the beginning. I'm definitely okay with myself and my sexual orientation. Being bi, lesbian, whatever, doesn't bother me in the least bit. What I'm curious about is other people's coming out stories. How did you do it? I'm guessing that I'll just know when the time is right, but now that I'm at the point that I know I'm not straight, that would be the next step sometime.

lol, that's awesome. i like watching chicks make out. it turns me on. make sure that you are before you do. making out w/ a chick doesn't necessarily mean you are lesbian. i mean i know girls that do it all the time, but they have bf's and everything. but most of the time they are drunk. idk. haha.

 

[Irvine511]

Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

lol, that's awesome. i like watching chicks make out. it turns me on. make sure that you are before you do. making out w/ a chick doesn't necessarily mean you are lesbian. i mean i know girls that do it all the time, but they have bf's and everything. but most of the time they are drunk. idk. haha.

are you fucking kidding me?

there are a million little thoughts about the idiocy of straight men and their obliviousness and unthinking callousness running through my mind right now, but i'll let this be since i'm willing to think that this might be a massive misstep at humor on your part.

but then, going back and reading the rest of the posts, and seeing how sensitive they are and how it was a revelatory moment for the OP, it seems not.

ps -- i hate to burst your bubble, but those "drunk chicks" are just looking for attention because they know straight male idiots will watch and then drunkenly jerk off to the image later that evening when they haven't gone home with you

 

[redhotswami]

Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

lol, that's awesome. i like watching chicks make out. it turns me on. make sure that you are before you do. making out w/ a chick doesn't necessarily mean you are lesbian. i mean i know girls that do it all the time, but they have bf's and everything. but most of the time they are drunk. idk. haha.

you may be meaning for this to be a lighthearted joke, but it comes off as very disrespectful. cassie is sharing something very personal with us, and your response just seems very callous to me. i thought i was perhaps overreacting, but i'm glad i'm not the only person who feels this way.

 

[struckpx]

Re: Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

are you fucking kidding me?

there are a million little thoughts about the idiocy of straight men and their obliviousness and unthinking callousness running through my mind right now, but i'll let this be since i'm willing to think that this might be a massive misstep at humor on your part.

but then, going back and reading the rest of the posts, and seeing how sensitive they are and how it was a revelatory moment for the OP, it seems not.

ps -- i hate to burst your bubble, but those "drunk chicks" are just looking for attention because they know straight male idiots will watch and then drunkenly jerk off to the image later that evening when they haven't gone home with you

sheesh, chill.

it was humor.

nah, i don't mess around with those girls. they are too dirty for me. but, they are pretty hot. but that is just the ones that i hang out with.

and, i was just trying to lighten up the mood. either way, i wish ya luck w/ your decision.

 

[struckpx]

Re: Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

you may be meaning for this to be a lighthearted joke, but it comes off as very disrespectful. cassie is sharing something very personal with us, and your response just seems very callous to me. i thought i was perhaps overreacting, but i'm glad i'm not the only person who feels this way.

gosh, i guess i shouldn't comment in this forum anymore for everything is taken the wrong way.

sorry, it was not supposed to be negative.

you are young, we experiment. its usual. best of luck.

 

[love_u2_adam]

Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

lol, that's awesome. i like watching chicks make out. it turns me on. make sure that you are before you do. making out w/ a chick doesn't necessarily mean you are lesbian. i mean i know girls that do it all the time, but they have bf's and everything. but most of the time they are drunk. idk. haha.

ya ok i'm not lesbian or anything and i was so offended by that dude! just being a women and reading that made me offended. wow you went to far man. i honestly don't think cassie is drunk !

 

[struckpx]

Re: Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

ya ok i'm not lesbian or anything and i was so offended by that dude! just being a women and reading that made me offended. wow you went to far man. i honestly don't think cassie is drunk !

i apologize. it wasn't meant to be that way. i guess i didn't describe it correctly, as usual here.

 

[Irvine511]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

and, i was just trying to lighten up the mood. either way, i wish ya luck w/ your decision.

you clearly have no idea how offensive your humor was, and how misogynistic your attitudes are. girls are too "dirty" for you?

and there's no "decision" going on here. someone is coming to terms with their sexuality.

 

[A_Wanderer]

Re: Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

are you fucking kidding me?

there are a million little thoughts about the idiocy of straight men and their obliviousness and unthinking callousness running through my mind right now, but i'll let this be since i'm willing to think that this might be a massive misstep at humor on your part.

but then, going back and reading the rest of the posts, and seeing how sensitive they are and how it was a revelatory moment for the OP, it seems not.

ps -- i hate to burst your bubble, but those "drunk chicks" are just looking for attention because they know straight male idiots will watch and then drunkenly jerk off to the image later that evening when they haven't gone home with you

Thanks for killing that illusion

At least I still have the internet


Onebloodonelife best of luck to you, my sister rolls that way and I think it has many advantages, lower risks for STD's, no risk of pregnancy and no incessently annoying boyfriends

 

[Vincent Vega]

Some great losses on the market recently.
But I wish you all the best. Great that you are so confident about yourself.

 

[indra]

Congrats! Being comfortable in your own skin is a lovely, lovely thing.

 

[struckpx]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I'm coming to terms with my sexuality

you clearly have no idea how offensive your humor was, and how misogynistic your attitudes are. girls are too "dirty" for you?

and there's no "decision" going on here. someone is coming to terms with their sexuality.

No, I am not going to argue this with you.

You clearly are out to butcher me.

Stop taking words and dilating them into a different form from what i say, it is really starting to piss me off.

I am done with you and your problem towards me. Ever since I started coming here you have criticized me, so I should expect no less.

I have already apologized for my comments if they were taken the wrong way. I did not intend them to be that way.

We are young. Best of luck, but I am also making the point that just b/c you make out w/ a girl does not mean you are a lesbian.

Either way, whatever makes you happy is best, and that is what counts.

 

[A_Wanderer]

There aren't too many ways to take such a comment and the assumptions underlying them are quite revealing (irony and tact are useful tools for making points but they take practice). The intitial defence that labelled some girls too dirty for you merely reinforces impressions of that initial post (hence misogyny). And the point of telling somebody that their sexuality doesn't actually have to be what they feel it could be would seem to reinforce a philosophy that you seem able to defend that reeks of anti-sexualism. Such a discussion does not belong in this thread or even this forum.

A hollow apology is cutting and running from the quagmire of condescension that you created, if you have nothing productive to add to another persons thread on such a personal matter then don't repost (and this very statement is a challenge in that regard - do not respond).