Enough already!

[snowbunny00774]

Okay I have thought of a pertinent question that needs to be addressed. Where do single people that don't drink in college go to meet other single people in college that do not drink?

band camp

 

[Lil'Bono]

I'm sure many here will be able to relate to this rant:

Since I've been home from school I've had multiple people ask me, usually in front of my parents, if I've "met" anyone---meaning, do I have a crush.

I always shrug and cover up my insecurity and true feeling of lonliness by saying "Oh, you know, 19 year old boys, they're just annoying."

It's time I became honest with myself, I'm damn lonely. Up until recently, my best friend and I had been the only ones out of our friends who had never had a relationship with a guy. Well now she's in a very serious relationship with her boyfriend, in fact ALL of my friends have boyfriend, and here I sit, still haven't been kissed.

I really just want a companion, I'm sick of seeing all my friends being lovey-dovey with their boys and I have no idea what its like.

Sure on the upside I'm missing a lot of drama and hard work that it takes to hold a relationship together, but I'd like to have one for myself, see what it's like, and people can stop wondering why I'm always single and inquiring about my love life (or lack thereof).


I keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...how much longer do I have to wait? How much more patient do I have to be? I'm sick of the lonliness...I wonder at some of the people who are in relationships and I can't get squat.

I'm not looking for sex at all...but something physical...someone to hold me when I want to be held, keep me warm, etc.

It doesn't help that my roommate's boyfriend comes every weekend and I have to watch their lovefest 24/3 (Fri-sat-sun).

I know the feeling, I'm 19 too, been single for 3 years after some guy broke my heart, now i find it hard to trust anyone. All my friends are settling down and i'm sad and single. Probably doesnt help that unless the guy is in his forties I'm not interested.

 

[For Honor]

^ while it is good to gain personal experienc in regards to who you can get along with, I'm growing more and more against young people getting together. There are so few that actually want/know what it takes to make something like that work, and the more 18-25 year olds I'm around.........

the more I don't like to be around them.

 

[A_Wanderer]

I'm sure many here will be able to relate to this rant:

Since I've been home from school I've had multiple people ask me, usually in front of my parents, if I've "met" anyone---meaning, do I have a crush.

I always shrug and cover up my insecurity and true feeling of lonliness by saying "Oh, you know, 19 year old boys, they're just annoying."

It's time I became honest with myself, I'm damn lonely. Up until recently, my best friend and I had been the only ones out of our friends who had never had a relationship with a guy. Well now she's in a very serious relationship with her boyfriend, in fact ALL of my friends have boyfriend, and here I sit, still haven't been kissed.

I really just want a companion, I'm sick of seeing all my friends being lovey-dovey with their boys and I have no idea what its like.

Sure on the upside I'm missing a lot of drama and hard work that it takes to hold a relationship together, but I'd like to have one for myself, see what it's like, and people can stop wondering why I'm always single and inquiring about my love life (or lack thereof).

I keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...how much longer do I have to wait? How much more patient do I have to be? I'm sick of the lonliness...I wonder at some of the people who are in relationships and I can't get squat.

I'm not looking for sex at all...but something physical...someone to hold me when I want to be held, keep me warm, etc.

It doesn't help that my roommate's boyfriend comes every weekend and I have to watch their lovefest 24/3 (Fri-sat-sun).

Anyway this is an unusually long post for me...sorry about that...just getting some inner emotions that I had buried out for people to see.

I too know all about that solitude that comes with going through this whole new part of your life without finding anyone to be with, hell I am still going through it.

If you can find a person who you find truly attractive that you find yourself thinking about every once in a while then you have to do something about it, and the long and desperately lonely times that stretch out until then are the price that we pay for that. For the longest time that feeling of aloneness was palpable, but I would say that it makes you mentally tougher. But then again on the flipside I really am one for making it all much more difficult than is has to be, I have a great tendency to not only be oblivious to the signals but also put up barriers while I consider things from every single angle. And then realizing it and affirming it and missing the chance the first time around waiting in the purgatory of three months holidays is harder than any stretch of aimless solitude, the lesson of this cautionary tale is not to compromise and to take the initiative when something greater than idle fancy takes hold. Just wanting to love and to be loved is the most poweful emotion in my life, and it is something that can sustain us all.

I am sure that there is a smart, witty and good looking guy who has the same great taste in music, loves the same movies, appreciates a smart girl with a political mind, who truly likes you for you and one that isn't living on the other side of the world.

It just breaks my heart to think that your out there bearing that same burden, if you ever want to talk about it you know where to find me and I am always ready to listen, we can always be alone together.

 

[sulawesigirl4]

I don't know if it helps or not, but I made it all the way through college without hooking up with a guy. I was annoyed by the guy-free existence at first, but during the four years, I really got to know and love this thing called independence. Being single really allowed me to grow and to rely upon myself. Sure it was scary at times, not having someone to fall back upon and it was lonely not having a warm body to cuddle with. But it also gave me the opportunity to drop everything and travel to Europe, not once but twice...meet amazing people (many from interference) throughout my journeys, build my self-confidence by realizing that I could go ANYWHERE and do it alone and be OK, not to mention have the life-changing experience of volunteering for two years in Africa.

Sure, at the end of the day, I waited longer for my "1st kiss" (23), but I can testify that it was just perfect and exactly how and when I wanted it, not some fumbling adolescent mistake that I'll ever regret. And yeah, I'm 26 and still unmarried, but during those travels that I wouldn't have gone on without my freedom, I met a really great guy that I would have NEVER met otherwise. Whether or not our relationship is meant to last or not, time will tell, but I can sit here and tell you that I don't regret my early 20s one bit.

So go ahead and be honest with yourself about your feelings. But don't forget to reaffirm your self-worth and the value of you as a single person. Focus on what you want out of life and let the other stuff take care of itself in its own time.

Btw, I'm in VA now, so I hope we get the chance to hang out sometime and talk politics.

 

[U2democrat]

Re: Re: Enough already!

I am sure that there is a smart, witty and good looking guy who has the same great taste in music, loves the same movies, appreciates a smart girl with a political mind, who truly likes you for you and one that isn't living on the other side of the world.

It just breaks my heart to think that your out there bearing that same burden, if you ever want to talk about it you know where to find me and I am always ready to listen, we can always be alone together.

You really are a sweetheart, it's a wonder you haven't found a mate yourself.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I know, that really is so sweet and beautiful what A Wanderer said there you need to make your move U2democrat too bad he's so far away

 

[girlhappy]

I am a bit older than you, and i can tell you:waiting sucks.Sorry, but it is true. The other side of the story is: i know that i didnt really want relationship for a long time But, eventually, i also hope to find a soulmate and i am 31.So,.......

 

[tommyvill]

how long, to sing this (lonely) song?

 

[For Honor]

heh heh heh,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[A_Wanderer]

Re: Re: Re: Enough already!

You really are a sweetheart, it's a wonder you haven't found a mate yourself.

Oh I have mates, but I have the feeling thats not what your talking about. I have been able to ingratiate myself with a good many girls through charm and the lost art of the conversation, I just couldn't find one that I really liked in that way since Maria.

And then six months ago along comes Michelle. Well I sort of liked her when I met her - I mean tallish girl with slightish figure and long dark hair and a who I got on well with and all through semester she would be sitting next to me (moving three seats away from friends to sit next to a guy is generally a hint isnt it? drawing out conversations on eachothers lecture notes? glances and smiles? all the stuff that guys have a way of being completely oblivious too) and I grappled with this a bit, but when I saw her all dressed up for the party and then there was that whole week of field trip I started to come around - but of course by then exams were coming up and I didn't want to start something then and now I just can't stop thinking about her and try hard as I might my mind just drifts there, theres really something to this deep down and I rue not doing something about it when the opportunity was there, but opportunity knocks again at the end of Febuary and if I play my cards right I may be using both those tickets I bought for the Vertigo show at the end of March

 

[U2democrat]

You can do it! She'd be crazy to say no.

 

[A_Wanderer]

Well when a guy catches your eye I am sure that the same basic logic would apply

Believe me you have it

 

[Sherry Darling]

Hi there hon!

I just want to second what Sula said. I can't say I've never been kissed, but then again, I'm 30. But even as my friends get married and have kids, and as my younger sister is about to get engaged, I've become very grateful that I through the dating I've done, I haven't met "the one" yet. I've travel to Africa, and lived in Oxford and am now finishing my PhD in peace and conflict studies. If I'd met someone in college or the first couple of years after, I wouldn't have done those things. I would not trade them for the world.

Also, I'd be very very cautious about comparing yourself to others ("all my friends have hooked up"), as hard as that is. I've learned over the years that things are never as they seem.

Enjoy this time of independence, and when he does come along, well, you'll enjoy that too!

 

[U2democrat]

Thanks SD.

Any chance of you shooting down to Williamsburg Jan. 14 for the Inauguration?

 

[public]

Is anyone else thinking U2democrat and Techie2000 would make a very cute couple?!?

 

[A_Wanderer]

 

[the rockin edge]

matchmaking thread?

 

[U2democrat]

 

[Techie2000]

Is anyone else thinking U2democrat and Techie2000 would make a very cute couple?!?

I know what you did last summer...

 

[A_Wanderer]

 

[public]

Looks like this matchmaker missed.

Although "young love" is still very !!

 

[bono_212]

Well...at least you're not as pathetic as me...I'm only 18 and have never been kissed, but hte problem is that here's only one guy I want a kiss from...now before you start thinking it's some silly schoolkid crush, it's not he's my best friend and I've felt that way about him since the day I met him when I was 12....the problem now is a few months ago he finally found out how I really felt about him...and the good news is we're still friends....well he's home on leave for Christmas from the marines (he's a year older than me) and the whole last two weeks, he's kinda been playing with my emotions. like he likes me that way tooo, but I know he doesn't and it's so hard cause a few relatives saw me with him the other day and they asked if he was my boyfriend, and it's so hard for me to say no....even now i'm a little writting htis, finally getting how i feel out in the open....and then I had to put up with about twenty people asking me on Christmas if I had a boyfriend yet, while my 14 year old sister gets a beautiful necklace from her boyfriend hs'e been dating for like 5 months....and now I'm going out to lunch with my friend (we'll call him Dave) and he keeps inviting me to do stuff with him....

Ok, this isn't random, but have you ever seen When Harry met Sally? you know how they don't want to be alone on New Years? Well last year, I made the mistake of watchingthat movie a week before New Years, so all I did the whole night was wish Dave was going to be there to kiss me at midnight...and the worst thing is that this year he's coming to the New Years Eve party with me, in fact he's helpingme orginize it...it's killing me and I don't want to tlel hm, cause I don't want him to stop hanging out with me.


wow...sorry I wetn on there...I really needed to get that off my chest.

 

[Sherry Darling]

Thanks SD.

Any chance of you shooting down to Williamsburg Jan. 14 for the Inauguration?

You're welcome. I have to say, it's not likely. I have a thing that night I need to be at. I'll watch for you on the news coverage, though.

 

[U2democrat]

You're welcome. I have to say, it's not likely. I have a thing that night I need to be at. I'll watch for you on the news coverage, though.

I'm going to the ball in Richmond too, so hopefully there won't be any scandalous coverage of that

 

[catlhere]

wow...sorry I wetn on there...I really needed to get that off my chest.

That's what this forum is for right?
Oh and maybe you should want more than just Dave to kiss you, and it'll be easier to find someone. I've learned very recently that devoting all your effort into one person can be very damaging in the future when things fall through (and usually with first crushes/loves, they do )

Wow this thread opened my eyes a little. I don't know much about the female species. But I never knew it was so hard for some girls to find boyfriends. I mean I just assumed it was a piece of cake for you womenfolk. It's always the guys after the girls, so I just figured girls got hit on and asked out left and right. I never knew girls had trouble with this sort of thing. But I mean, girls have it a little easier I think, they just need to take an initiative. In my humble opinion, at least judging from the guys i've hung with, girls could go up to practically any single dude and get a date if they just asked. We men are always on the lookout for girls to date, thats our main goal once we hit puberty I guess I'm just speaking from my experiences so don't listen to me. But I really think if a girl just went up to a guy that was single and asked them out, he most likely would say yes. I would... i'd be flattered! Someone ask me!!!

Anyway, time to find new threads. kkthxbai!

 

[u2bonogirl]

well, its hard for a girl to find a boyfriend if she is looking for a good one

Laura, I know this will sound stupid coming from a person your age that is already married, but you still have plenty of time to find someone.
You are taking the population of your university and assuming that there is somebody right for you in it.
Just imagine how much luckier you will be that a lot of people if you do meet the right person for you without all the baggage from a bunch of asshole boyfriends
Giving your heart to somebody who isnt going to take care of it only leaves something damaged in there when its all over. Some people go through that over and over again until they cant trust or love thoroughly anymore.
Just try to be as patient as you can be. I know its tough

 

[karls77]

I just want to second what everyone else has been saying about you having plenty of time. I know exactly where you're coming from as I didn't have a gf until I was 24. I probably could have had one earlier but there was really no one I fancied and I didn't want to get involved with someone just for the sake of it. Just take your time and keep an eye out. It'll happen one of these days!

 

[U2democrat]

Yeah, I know i've got plenty of time, just not a lot of patience

 

[girlhappy]

I felt exactly the same way at your age. But as U2 BOnogirl said...sometimes is better to wait than have horror experiences. On the other hand, every experience is precious (at least according to Oscar Wilde).