Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been a few weeks since my last confession.
ARE YOU SURE IT HAS BEEN ONLY WEEKS
Ah. . . well actually it has been about a year. . . okay, I guess since I'm at confession, I might as well start confessing, it has been years, I don't know how many? We might be here awile, what time does the church close?
THE CHURCH REMAINS OPEN FOR ANYONE IN NEED MY SON, WHATS ON YOU MIND?
I don't really know where to start?
START WITH YESTERDAY AND WORK YOUR WAY BACK.
Okay, well I re-posting on an internet site and I think everyone hates me now! I even got an admonishing reply and . . well it wasn't my fault your 'honor'. . you see...
CALL ME FATHER, I AM NOT A JUDGE, THAT IS UP TO GOD, OKAY
Okay. . .where was I? Yeah, well you see I had just signed up at this forum, my first forum and I didn't know how to work it, I'm very computer illiterate and it might as well be hieroglyphics. Well yesterday I also told a lie! You see that wasn't my fault either, there was a U2 TRIBUTE BAND playing at a place called CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE, and since my lisense is suspended I had no way to get there. So I told my friend that it was a secret gig and although it was a cover band, BONO, he's the singer, well I told him that BONO was going to be there. So it was only 1/2 a lie, I guess, . . right? My friend was upset at first and he felt uncomforable 'cause he was the only black guy there. But we had an okay time, we snuck in some beers and . . . oh wait. . do I have to confess about the beers?
NO THAT IS A RULE OF MAN NOT OF GOD!
Good!!, that sure is a relief, 'cause I sneak in booze every where I go, too expensive, you know? well anyway I only got to stay for 1/2 of the show, and they didn't even play 'KITE', SO my friend and I left, (he had the keys and wanted to go), and we went to another bar. well to make a long story short, I hooked up with a girl that I met last time I was there, and I have to confess that my un-holy thoughts led to un-holy acts, even though I would have made her my wife, . . .well for that night atleast. But then the strangest thing happened, we went to my place and my head started spinning and all of a sudden her twin sister was there and then her other twin sister, until everything in the room had twins, who had twins, . . . I think it was god. . . oops, I mean GOD, giving me a sign that this act of copulation was not in my best interests, . . or it was the booze!, probably the booze. I don't know? GOD sure acts in mysterious ways, doesn't he? well after that my soldier wouldn't salute, after all his training he still choose to be insubordinate. and a moment later I passed out, I don't know what happened after that, I hope she didn't take my U2 cds? So now, I think that another person hates me?
EXCUSE ME FATHER I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOUR CONFESSION, BUT THERE IS A VERY PUSHY IRISH MAN ON THE PHONE, FROM SOME MUSIC GROUP CALLED 'ME-2' I THINK. . AND HE WANTS TO KNOW IF WE WILL DONATE MONEY SOME CAUSE IN AFRICA, HE TALKS FUNNY SO I CAN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS SAYING, I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A WORD WITH HIIM?
FATHER: I WILL THANKYOU, WE SHALL CONTINUE THIS TOMORROW ANTIETAM, SAME TIME? IS THAT OKAY? SEE YOU THEN
ARE YOU SURE IT HAS BEEN ONLY WEEKS
Ah. . . well actually it has been about a year. . . okay, I guess since I'm at confession, I might as well start confessing, it has been years, I don't know how many? We might be here awile, what time does the church close?
THE CHURCH REMAINS OPEN FOR ANYONE IN NEED MY SON, WHATS ON YOU MIND?
I don't really know where to start?
START WITH YESTERDAY AND WORK YOUR WAY BACK.
Okay, well I re-posting on an internet site and I think everyone hates me now! I even got an admonishing reply and . . well it wasn't my fault your 'honor'. . you see...
CALL ME FATHER, I AM NOT A JUDGE, THAT IS UP TO GOD, OKAY
Okay. . .where was I? Yeah, well you see I had just signed up at this forum, my first forum and I didn't know how to work it, I'm very computer illiterate and it might as well be hieroglyphics. Well yesterday I also told a lie! You see that wasn't my fault either, there was a U2 TRIBUTE BAND playing at a place called CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE, and since my lisense is suspended I had no way to get there. So I told my friend that it was a secret gig and although it was a cover band, BONO, he's the singer, well I told him that BONO was going to be there. So it was only 1/2 a lie, I guess, . . right? My friend was upset at first and he felt uncomforable 'cause he was the only black guy there. But we had an okay time, we snuck in some beers and . . . oh wait. . do I have to confess about the beers?
NO THAT IS A RULE OF MAN NOT OF GOD!
Good!!, that sure is a relief, 'cause I sneak in booze every where I go, too expensive, you know? well anyway I only got to stay for 1/2 of the show, and they didn't even play 'KITE', SO my friend and I left, (he had the keys and wanted to go), and we went to another bar. well to make a long story short, I hooked up with a girl that I met last time I was there, and I have to confess that my un-holy thoughts led to un-holy acts, even though I would have made her my wife, . . .well for that night atleast. But then the strangest thing happened, we went to my place and my head started spinning and all of a sudden her twin sister was there and then her other twin sister, until everything in the room had twins, who had twins, . . . I think it was god. . . oops, I mean GOD, giving me a sign that this act of copulation was not in my best interests, . . or it was the booze!, probably the booze. I don't know? GOD sure acts in mysterious ways, doesn't he? well after that my soldier wouldn't salute, after all his training he still choose to be insubordinate. and a moment later I passed out, I don't know what happened after that, I hope she didn't take my U2 cds? So now, I think that another person hates me?
EXCUSE ME FATHER I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOUR CONFESSION, BUT THERE IS A VERY PUSHY IRISH MAN ON THE PHONE, FROM SOME MUSIC GROUP CALLED 'ME-2' I THINK. . AND HE WANTS TO KNOW IF WE WILL DONATE MONEY SOME CAUSE IN AFRICA, HE TALKS FUNNY SO I CAN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS SAYING, I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A WORD WITH HIIM?
FATHER: I WILL THANKYOU, WE SHALL CONTINUE THIS TOMORROW ANTIETAM, SAME TIME? IS THAT OKAY? SEE YOU THEN
