BAW
The Flower
You're all gonna think I'm crazy, but I feel guilty about the amount of child support I'm getting from my ex-husband.
Some background facts: We've been divorced since 1989 and I had to file a permanent restraining order because he was violent towards me. I was given full physical and legal custody of our kids and he was given no visitation rights because of his tendency to hit me whenever we were in the same room.
He was, however, ordered to pay $306 per month in child support. He was never a high wage earner so the small amount was justified because of his income. Needless to say, he never paid. His thinking was if he couldn't see his kids, he didn't have to pay. Every now and then, I would get anywhere from $15 to $200 and I always get his tax refunds. Over the years, his debt to me grew to over $45,000.
A few years ago, I contacted him by mail and told him I would consider letting him see our older son because I thought enough time had passed and maybe his anger towards me would have lessened a little but he wrote back and basically trashed me, saying I'm the reason for every bad thing in his life, he can't buy a house or a car, can't become a US citizen and can't feed the 4 other kids he has with his new wife. I knew it was going nowwhere so I just accepted the fact that I would never see any money from him and got on with my life.
Since then, Orange County has gotten really aggresive in child support collections and finally attached his wages and I started getting small checks, usually less than $200. I was happy with that because I'm not really hurting for money. Last month, I got a check for almost $600...and today I got one for almost $900. I'm assuming the county is taking almost his entire paycheck and I feel like an asshole. The check I got today includes more than $500 in interest alone
I got another letter from him last week begging me to close my case because he can't feed his 4 kids. I know I should tell him to shove it because he's never done anything for 2 he had first but I feel bad for his wife. I don't want anyone to go broke when I don't need the money that badly. It helps out but no one will go hungry without it.
I'm I being weird?
Some background facts: We've been divorced since 1989 and I had to file a permanent restraining order because he was violent towards me. I was given full physical and legal custody of our kids and he was given no visitation rights because of his tendency to hit me whenever we were in the same room.
He was, however, ordered to pay $306 per month in child support. He was never a high wage earner so the small amount was justified because of his income. Needless to say, he never paid. His thinking was if he couldn't see his kids, he didn't have to pay. Every now and then, I would get anywhere from $15 to $200 and I always get his tax refunds. Over the years, his debt to me grew to over $45,000.
A few years ago, I contacted him by mail and told him I would consider letting him see our older son because I thought enough time had passed and maybe his anger towards me would have lessened a little but he wrote back and basically trashed me, saying I'm the reason for every bad thing in his life, he can't buy a house or a car, can't become a US citizen and can't feed the 4 other kids he has with his new wife. I knew it was going nowwhere so I just accepted the fact that I would never see any money from him and got on with my life.
Since then, Orange County has gotten really aggresive in child support collections and finally attached his wages and I started getting small checks, usually less than $200. I was happy with that because I'm not really hurting for money. Last month, I got a check for almost $600...and today I got one for almost $900. I'm assuming the county is taking almost his entire paycheck and I feel like an asshole. The check I got today includes more than $500 in interest alone
I got another letter from him last week begging me to close my case because he can't feed his 4 kids. I know I should tell him to shove it because he's never done anything for 2 he had first but I feel bad for his wife. I don't want anyone to go broke when I don't need the money that badly. It helps out but no one will go hungry without it.
I'm I being weird?