Carek1230
Blue Crack Overdose Get me off the internetz!
Something's really bothering me. This really happened, it isn't hypothetical. Not long ago some friends and I went on a trip together. 6 of us sharing expenses and a hotel room. My sister and a guy I like were in the party & met for the 1st time when we all arrived. The 2nd night of this trip I awoke during the night to discover my sister and this guy in the other bed making out. I was upset but after witnessing this for about 10 mins. got up and left the room. I called before I came back. My sister said nothing had happened and she didn't know what I was talking about when I questioned her about what I'd seen. The guy apologized and wanted to take all the blame stating he was a dog and it was rude of him to have done what he did. At least he was honest.
Before the trip I'd hear from this guy on an almost daily basis-phone calls, emails and chatting. He was very nice and a really great friend. After this trip I hardly heard from him. When I did he was constantly telling me to not be so hard on my sister, and that he wanted us to get along. He and my sister were burning up the phone lines and internet. I felt really weird about this, especially when I sent an email to them both telling them that I realized I'd had feelings for the guy and seeing the 2 of them making out was weird and it hurt me. My sister responded with guilt and the guy responded telling me I was full of shit and was just using that excuse to hurt my sister and keep the 2 of them from the possibility of a relationship even tho they are in different states. Every contact with my sister all she would do was talk about him and bring something about him into each and every conversation even when I asked her not to. I feel this guy loves pitting people against one another, especially my sister and myself. I think he also loves pissing people off, starting arguments, debating....
The Holidays arrive and I'm hesitant to have the 2 of them here at my house together because of my feelings having been hurt. The 2 tell me they are only "friends" and my sister begs to stay with me. I am laden with gifts. I made it clear I didn't want the 2 of them alone in my house together, and that I wouldn't allow my house to be used as a bordello or my car to be used for them to sneak away in. The holiday is alright but I notice whenever the 3 of us are together the guy is really mean to me and I don't like it. Some friends recognize the pattern. On New Years Eve he really crossed the line and I called him on it in front of everyone. He demanded my sister take him to where he was staying. Good riddance. I've not heard a word from him since. On New Year's Eve Day my sister asked to use my car to go visit my cousins. I learned later she had arranged to pick up this guy and took HIM to visit with our family. They were late arriving to a dinner party we'd planned at my house that night.
Meanwhile my sister is upset because I've told her my friendship with this guy is over, and that I can see a pattern I don't like in how he treats me and others. I see him taking advantage of her financially (and probably otherwise, she is nearly 10 yrs older). My sister is acting differently not to mention my mother and I have caught her in a couple of lies (this guy is a good liar) which is very unlike her.
I agonized over all that had happened since that first trip and realized my relationship with my sister is and should be more important than with that a friend, or someone I *thought* was a friend. Now my sister is upset and we are hardly speaking. She feels I have made a HUGE deal out of some what she and this guy feel are petty issues. I've told my sister I don't want to hear the guy's name mentioned so she says she has nothing to talk about with me. It's rather ridiculous and immature, however I am looking out for myself and I feel so disrespected. First of all friends don't hurt friends, no one in their right mind should mess with someone your friend or sister knows you like, and how disrespectful is it to be making out in a hotel room while everyone else sleeps? That's just sleazy.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do? I have learned to walk away from things that cause me pain and avoid people or things that aren't good for me or don't make me happy. I am looking out for ME which isn't a selfish thing. Why do I feel so crappy?
Before the trip I'd hear from this guy on an almost daily basis-phone calls, emails and chatting. He was very nice and a really great friend. After this trip I hardly heard from him. When I did he was constantly telling me to not be so hard on my sister, and that he wanted us to get along. He and my sister were burning up the phone lines and internet. I felt really weird about this, especially when I sent an email to them both telling them that I realized I'd had feelings for the guy and seeing the 2 of them making out was weird and it hurt me. My sister responded with guilt and the guy responded telling me I was full of shit and was just using that excuse to hurt my sister and keep the 2 of them from the possibility of a relationship even tho they are in different states. Every contact with my sister all she would do was talk about him and bring something about him into each and every conversation even when I asked her not to. I feel this guy loves pitting people against one another, especially my sister and myself. I think he also loves pissing people off, starting arguments, debating....
The Holidays arrive and I'm hesitant to have the 2 of them here at my house together because of my feelings having been hurt. The 2 tell me they are only "friends" and my sister begs to stay with me. I am laden with gifts. I made it clear I didn't want the 2 of them alone in my house together, and that I wouldn't allow my house to be used as a bordello or my car to be used for them to sneak away in. The holiday is alright but I notice whenever the 3 of us are together the guy is really mean to me and I don't like it. Some friends recognize the pattern. On New Years Eve he really crossed the line and I called him on it in front of everyone. He demanded my sister take him to where he was staying. Good riddance. I've not heard a word from him since. On New Year's Eve Day my sister asked to use my car to go visit my cousins. I learned later she had arranged to pick up this guy and took HIM to visit with our family. They were late arriving to a dinner party we'd planned at my house that night.
Meanwhile my sister is upset because I've told her my friendship with this guy is over, and that I can see a pattern I don't like in how he treats me and others. I see him taking advantage of her financially (and probably otherwise, she is nearly 10 yrs older). My sister is acting differently not to mention my mother and I have caught her in a couple of lies (this guy is a good liar) which is very unlike her.
I agonized over all that had happened since that first trip and realized my relationship with my sister is and should be more important than with that a friend, or someone I *thought* was a friend. Now my sister is upset and we are hardly speaking. She feels I have made a HUGE deal out of some what she and this guy feel are petty issues. I've told my sister I don't want to hear the guy's name mentioned so she says she has nothing to talk about with me. It's rather ridiculous and immature, however I am looking out for myself and I feel so disrespected. First of all friends don't hurt friends, no one in their right mind should mess with someone your friend or sister knows you like, and how disrespectful is it to be making out in a hotel room while everyone else sleeps? That's just sleazy.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do? I have learned to walk away from things that cause me pain and avoid people or things that aren't good for me or don't make me happy. I am looking out for ME which isn't a selfish thing. Why do I feel so crappy?