This is where this gets awkward and uncomfortable stammer. I do want to apologise, and to you personally I can and would like to. I do still have a major problem with this whole religion business where someone of a certain and known faith never seems to need to apologise for what I happen to find extremely personally offensive. I hate that how I feel is viewed as possibly narrow minded or not me accepting the views of others. I hate it for 2 reasons, one being that is not actually the case at all and I do have respect, quiet respect for how anyone views their God and associated other (though I do know that I dont always show it, like in here now), but also because my anger arises from what I cant help but feel is no respect for mine. I get like this because I get so offended and frustrated at what is said to me.
I've not come to my views based on concious decisions really. It is just how I feel. It makes sense to me. I feel there is a God. i use the term God because I dont know what else to call this entity. God is as good as any name as far as I'm concerned. I think God loves us all. I think God doesn't want us to judge each other, it is His place. If there will be any at all. I think he loves us all as we are. As gays, as murderers, as school teachers, as single mothers, as priests, as Hindus, as Buddists, as mechanics, as sky diving instructors, as professional NBA players. Whatever. We're all different and many things. I believe there is only one God and we all might follow what we humanly rationalise as vastly different religions, but there is only one God. We are all seperated by our differences and they are many and as varied as culture, location and so on dictates. I believe He watches us and could even be proud that we all find our own way, thinking in our human way that we're somehow so different, yet really it is possibly just a way to reconcile what does make us all so different, and thus giving us an opportunity so we can all do this how we feel is the right way. This kinda makes no sense, but it does in my head lol. I can't explain it. But alas, I am told I believe in a fantasy religion, one which doesn't exist. I am without salvation and as a result am most likely going to hell. I have created a convenience religion which isn't real as it isn't recognised. I'm told I need to accept 'Jesus Christ'. Followed by the reasons why. But you know what? The reasons why don't concern me. I'm alive, and not dead yet. When I do die, I'm pretty sure this whole mystery will be unravelled and what I cant help but feel will be explained/accepted/whatever. But that is for then. Until that time comes, I feel life is kinda more important. It's important for me to try and be a good person, use my time on this earth to do the best I can. Not make decisions or such for what is to come later.
I'm rambling now. I'll stop boring you if you're even reading hehe. It makes me sad that religion which is supposed to be a source of such good, as a result of it's following, causes these kinds of problems. I get offended, and I seem to offend others. No one gets out of this. And it's a shame.