dazzledbylight
Blue Crack Supplier
Possible very bad news for me & my sis!
My sis just got a call for the nursing home where my dad still is....
...he didn't eat dinner, and now is not responding -not opening his eyes.....
He's being sent to the little hospital (satalite of the Big university hospital) right near my sis's (where our mom was sent to) . I can stay over night
It could be a product of a bad unirnary infection
or he could be dying..... his Advance Directive was changed (I don't remember it being changed) to DNR, i didn't know that, or i didn't remember.
My dad doesn't really know us any more etc either totally or raely...he did seem to follow some of my last conversartion... which being at the end of Mrach last year ...you can imagine the clouds of guilt are now hovering.
My dad for those of you who don't know turned often very nasty & even cruel esp in some of his remearks to our mom after his 3rd major depression in '87 both verbally and he even held his first up to me several times late '90's. He got nasty aftr his 2nd depression in 81 but it still wasn't way as much most of the time. He was even often nasty to us in the nursing homes he was in (2). He could still manifest his sweet, funny, empathetic side but it often got eclipsed too often from 87 onward.
I've hardly visited him since our mom died in late May 08 b/c just going back there with out her being there was too much.... this past year was dealing with my new home & diffcult (relatively to the whole rest of my life) to get in & out of my new neihborhood.And inbetween lookinm for a new place and dealing with my sis & mine's mutal friend's illness and death.
Hopefully I'll be able to make up for this lack of visiting .
At the hospital we can find out which direction by blood tests etc
I'm most worried about my sister ...she just told she's having some breathing problerms. She had certain symptoms summer in Summer '09 when our friend was so very stricken with cancer (who died 2 months later) which is why she went to have her heart checked when they (by accident found out she had a unexpected small mass by her thyroid)... it turned out to be thyroid cancer 6 - 8 month later.
I'm sure her breathing problems are major anxiety, as they were last time in dealing with her friend.
SHe's lost 3 very major people in her life each in the last 3 years I've lost 2 but was quite unhappy at the time but just sad here, and there at times but not devastated as she is but some what extremely upset /partly spaced out for the first several days.
I've been praying that he remains stable for like another 2 years so that sher could get relief from all the deaths these past 3 years before having to deal with such a direct one so soon again!
I have kind of remembered now about the DNR directive for my dad....
So please send prayers, good wihes, good vibes to him and her .