U2democrat said:
Public bathrooms are nasty anyway, what kind of people would you want to pick up there?
when you're deep in the closet and come from a homophobic background where the costs of coming out might include violence and rejection by family, friends, and culture, you seek it anywhere you can get it, and you'll probably find the same type of people in these places.
all this is quite odd for me, since it all seems so archaic. all very 1970s and 1980s to me. there doesn't seem to be any need for this kind of behavior, but then i'm not a deeply closted 60-something US Senator who's probably been doing this for 40 years. i've never heard of these "codes" that men apparently use to communicate through the stalls with one another. anyone who's seen "something about Mary" knows the joke about truck stops, and i've heard of this stuff, but i've never had such an experience, nor have i ever looked for one. basically, since i came out, i've been a bit of a serial monogamist, and if i ever wanted to be slutty and sleazy, well, there are plenty of websites (and, you know, bars!) for that, just like there are for straight people. and i'd imagine that anonymous sex that happens in a pre-negotiated fashion via email or discussion in a bar and occurs in the relative safety of one's bedroom is far, far more likely to be protected than these anonymous public encounters we occasionally read about. and you rarely hear about this stuff involving guys in their 20s and 30s. it really does seem to be a relic of the past.
it does seem, though, as if the public nature of these encounters becomes somewhat intoxicating, a bit of thrill-seeking, which probably explains George Michael's patheticness in the famously cruisy Hempstead Heath, as well as Sen. Craig's behavior, and, yes, even Clinton's blow-job-in-the-oval-office. there must be a thrill related to but independent of the actual sex that keeps men coming back for more.
and this could lead into a long, long dissertation on the costs of homophobia, and how this kind of sex is less likely to be protected sex, and this is why we see disease and HIV spreading amongs those who only identify as MSM -- Men who have Sex with Men -- and refuse to identify as gay, and how the best thing anyone can do is come out and live and honest life and go on dates and try to have relationships and this is why the social and legal recognition of gay relationships is so, so, so important to the overall health of the gay community.
but we've all heard that before.
homophobia kills.