First off, thanks, Irvine, for getting what I was saying
.
Second...
pwmartin said:
You have taken my comments and run too far with them...into places I don't want to go.
Let me explain: marriage is the public's way of claiming a relationship. It is not just a ceremony. It is taking a relationship "public." That doesn't mean that you do your sex acts in view of others. It means it's public. There is a big difference. If two people tell you they're married, then there are certain things you, as a member of the public know about them: they are a legal entity; they are only having sexual relations with each other; (if it's a man and woman) they might be pregnant one day with one another's child; they have pledged to have strong feelings for each other---strong enough to try maintaining those feelings for the rest of their lives, etc. We may know these things about non-married people too, but never in the same way as married ones. That's a fact.
That's
if they tell you, of course. You'd have to also consider the fact that not every couple announces that they're married (what about those who elope?), and you'd also have to consider the fact that people
invite others to their weddings-they only let in those they feel comfortable sharing this news with. If they didn't invite you, it's therefore none of your concern.
And even then, yes, you can
assume those things about them, but it's still not your place to get into their business regarding that stuff. It's still not your place to know exactly what kind of intimate things they do behind closed doors, it's still not your place to know if they will or won't have children, etc., etc.-if they want to let you know of that stuff, they will. Until then, that's
their concern, not yours.
Originally posted by pwmartin
The activities of the couple on their married night? Come ON! We may not know exactly what positions they're trying and how many times they do the nasty, but everyone, EVERYONE knows that's what the wedding night is for. It's the consummation. They are being sexual with one another...and that's OK!! It may not be done in plain view, but it's still public. By the way, in many cultures the village expects to see bloody bedsheets the next morning. Horrifying, huh?
I would assume this all would be the same if gay marriage were to be legalized. As the couple leaves the wedding party for their honeymoon...or when they go into their bedroom together at night, people are not thinking, "Gee, I wonder if they're going in there to play chess all night long?" If they're not married, we may never really know what they're up to. It's secret. But once they decide to take it public, everyone may legitimately assume that it's not chess going on in there!
Uh...I think you misunderstood me. I know people are going to assume that couples on their wedding night will be getting intimate with each other. I'm just saying that it's nobody's business
how they get intimate, what kinds of things they do with each other during this time, etc., etc. The details of their night together should be their business and nobody else's. If they wish to make this stuff public, that's their choice, but it's not our place to ask them such personal questions, to dictate how they should be spending their intimate time together, etc., etc.
And you still haven't answered my question-you're a celibate, but suppose you ever
did get a significant other. As Irvine said, would you be totally fine with the government trying to tell you that you can or can't be together? Would you be fine with people butting in and asking personal questions about your private time together?
I don't
want to know the details of couples' private time together. As long as, when I see the couple in public, it seems that they're madly in love with each other and there's no physical or emotional abuse going on or something like that, I don't care what they do. And I certainly wouldn't want everyone else to know what I and the guy I date, or marry, do behind closed doors-that's
our business, and nobody else's. And nobody else-not the government, not society, not even my friends and family-has the right to dictate to me who I can and can't be with-that's a choice
I should be allowed to make. They can offer their personal thoughts on the guy I'm with, but they can't tell me flat out whether or not I should keep seeing him.
Angela