Nothing really big happening in this chapter, more retrospective for the characters than anything else.. but doesnt mean it it won't happen sometime soon in future chapters
***************************
Anneka did not get much sleep that night, she tossed and turned, going over her conversation with Bono and the events which had led up to it, and though he had implied he would go on being her friend, and nothing had changed, she knew really deep down everything had changed and could never be the same again.
It made her re-examine her own fear of making a committed relationship with a man after her disastrous marriage with Jake. She had tried to be a good wife but her career had always come first, Jake’s biggest complaint had been that he never felt like she really needed him. The pressure of both their successful careers had clashed. Would she not be getting into the exact same situation with Bono?
She had always been totally independent financially and career wise. Confident and self assured, she had never needed to lean on him, it had always been the other way around, She had been the strong one in the relationship, and as much as Jake had took advantage of it, she had come to realise he had also resented it.
The failure of her marriage had been the only time Anneka had felt really vulnerable and not in control of her life, she had no desire to go through that again, So she had dated men who were not looking for any sort of commitment, then there where no complications
Bono was wanting something more, she knew if she did get into a relationship with him it would become serious for her too, that was what scared her the most.
Yes there was an attraction between them, and falling in love with him would not be hard. But what if she didn’t live up to his expectations of what he wanted, or visa versa?
She was still too independent minded to give herself completely into the care of another man, she felt sure she would end up screwing it up and making him unhappy. She had convinced herself a long time ago the kind of love Bono talked about eluded her, and it was not something she was looking for or expected, that way she would never be disappointed and she stayed safe.
Recalling his last words to her, which had shaken her the most, he assumed somewhere down the line she would have a change of heart, that there would be a time she would believe in love again and perhaps with him. She just could not comprehend how he could make the possibility almost a reality, when she couldn’t. She guessed in the end only time would tell….
***************************************
Facing the others the following morning was a tad awkward, Anneka wasn’t sure if it was her own paranoia, that made it seem they were skirting around her and subdued as they gathered in the hotel foyer getting ready to leave.
She imagined her little drunken speech which had come out sounding like she was berating Bono had taken them all by surprise, and no doubt had raised some eyebrows, probably causing some interesting conversation between them all wondering what was going on, But none of them had the audacity to ask her to her face and she felt no need to explain herself, even if it did put herself in a bad light as the bitchy model.
Whatever they thought about her rift with Bono, it was soon put to rest when the man himself finally appeared looking cheerful and made a beeline for Anneka who was trying her hardest to ignore the slight tension in her gut at the sight of him, not sure how she should act now in front of the others.
“He slung his arm casually around her shoulder beaming “And how’s my bestest friend this morning? All ready for heading home?”
“As ready as I will ever be” Anneka shot him a grateful smile realising he was letting everyone know there was no hard feelings about the night before, and she could relax a little easier.
As if to reiterate that things were good with them, he sat next to her on the plane when they finally took of for home a few hours later.
“You don’t have to do this you know, Going out of your way being nice to me, as if nothing happened last night, they are all probably wondering what is going on with us” she surmised, still feeling a little guilty and not deserving the consideration he was showing her.
“Let them think what they like, we sorted it out last night. I told you I was going to be your friend, and friends stick by each other”
“Yes they do” Anneka let out a heavy sigh, “I wasn’t much of a friend though” she pointed out gloomily
“Hey. C’mon, enough of the guilt trip,” Bono told her covering his hand over hers to squeeze it reassuringly, “Besides you had your reasons. Misinformed reasons yeah,” he conceded with a short nod of his head, “But that wasn’t your fault. When I speak to Laurie again I am going to put her straight, she had no right to have a go at you like that” he finished grimly
“Oh don’t say anything to her” Anneka urged, suddenly feeling uneasy, she did not want to be the cause of another confrontation between Bono and his ex wife. Then hesitated before adding in deliberation studying his reaction as she spoke
“I think she still has feelings for you, despite all that has happened. Perhaps she hopes there is a possibility you will get back together someday”
Though his eyes were hidden behind his shades she had been up close and personal enough times to recognise his reaction even when he wore them, Although he did not speak, she could see how his jaw line tighten and go taunt as he give her words consideration, his head then swivelled round to look at her
“What makes you say that?” he finally asked
Anneka shrugged, feeling his blue eyes penetrating her through his shades, “It was just the feeling I got, like she still felt in some way you belonged to her, and she was warning me of”
Bono shook his head, his lips twisting into a wry crooked smile “Well she has got that all wrong, if that is the case”
“I’m sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything, it is just stirring up bad memories” Anneka found herself apologising. It was a subject neither of them had really wanted to tackle or talk about from their past, and had manage to mostly avoid, until now.
“It’s Ok” Bono replied, pausing as he was lost in his own thoughts before addressing Anneka again
“Actually when she split up with Jake and we were going through our divorce, there was a while I considered trying to make another go of it. If she had asked me to take her back, I think I would have” he admitted
“Really?” Anneka enquired in surprise, “Why didn’t you?”
Bono rubbed his stubbled chin looking thoughtful, “ In the end she never asked. If she was waiting for me to make the first move, it wasn’t happening. My male pride wouldn’t let me I guess, I still felt the injured party in the whole mess”
He shrugged dismissively,
“Anyway time just went on, and I found out she had picked up another new man, so the divorce went through. Looking back now it was the right decision, I don’t think we could have made it work. And I have moved on so much since then, my feelings for her have completely changed, there is no way I could make a go of it again with her, whatever there was between us is gone, for me anyway” he let out a long sigh
“That’s just the way it goes sometimes”
“Yeah I guess so” Anneka replied, “I know things were very embittered between me and Jake through the whole divorce, we ended up hating each other. It’s not something I want to experience again” she recalled with a slight shudder.
“It wasn’t easy for any of us” Bono remarked, “And left some of us more damaged than others, which is sad” he observed quietly his blue eyes were penetrating into her again, Anneka felt her cheeks heat up knowing he was referring to her
He suddenly sat up and removed his shades, looking solemn, “It just occurred to me that another reason for your reluctance to get involved with me was because you thought you might stand in the way of me and Laurie getting back together.. I just want to let you know that is not the case, whether we end up together or not, like I already told you, whatever I had with Laurie is gone. So don’t ever think you came along and spoiled some chance of us getting back together. It is never going to happen” he assured her
“You know it isn’t only that” Anneka protested gently and stared down at her fidgeting fingers, “Its just too many things”
“I know” Bono replied “But I just wanted to get that clear, y’know just in case you have a change of heart” he grinned.
Despite their seriousness of their conversation and her feelings, Anneka couldn’t help laughing, “You are incorrigible, do you know that? You don‘t give up easy do you?”
“I wouldn’t be Bono if I did” he stated, and she realised he had never spoken truer words.
***************************
Anneka did not get much sleep that night, she tossed and turned, going over her conversation with Bono and the events which had led up to it, and though he had implied he would go on being her friend, and nothing had changed, she knew really deep down everything had changed and could never be the same again.
It made her re-examine her own fear of making a committed relationship with a man after her disastrous marriage with Jake. She had tried to be a good wife but her career had always come first, Jake’s biggest complaint had been that he never felt like she really needed him. The pressure of both their successful careers had clashed. Would she not be getting into the exact same situation with Bono?
She had always been totally independent financially and career wise. Confident and self assured, she had never needed to lean on him, it had always been the other way around, She had been the strong one in the relationship, and as much as Jake had took advantage of it, she had come to realise he had also resented it.
The failure of her marriage had been the only time Anneka had felt really vulnerable and not in control of her life, she had no desire to go through that again, So she had dated men who were not looking for any sort of commitment, then there where no complications
Bono was wanting something more, she knew if she did get into a relationship with him it would become serious for her too, that was what scared her the most.
Yes there was an attraction between them, and falling in love with him would not be hard. But what if she didn’t live up to his expectations of what he wanted, or visa versa?
She was still too independent minded to give herself completely into the care of another man, she felt sure she would end up screwing it up and making him unhappy. She had convinced herself a long time ago the kind of love Bono talked about eluded her, and it was not something she was looking for or expected, that way she would never be disappointed and she stayed safe.
Recalling his last words to her, which had shaken her the most, he assumed somewhere down the line she would have a change of heart, that there would be a time she would believe in love again and perhaps with him. She just could not comprehend how he could make the possibility almost a reality, when she couldn’t. She guessed in the end only time would tell….
***************************************
Facing the others the following morning was a tad awkward, Anneka wasn’t sure if it was her own paranoia, that made it seem they were skirting around her and subdued as they gathered in the hotel foyer getting ready to leave.
She imagined her little drunken speech which had come out sounding like she was berating Bono had taken them all by surprise, and no doubt had raised some eyebrows, probably causing some interesting conversation between them all wondering what was going on, But none of them had the audacity to ask her to her face and she felt no need to explain herself, even if it did put herself in a bad light as the bitchy model.
Whatever they thought about her rift with Bono, it was soon put to rest when the man himself finally appeared looking cheerful and made a beeline for Anneka who was trying her hardest to ignore the slight tension in her gut at the sight of him, not sure how she should act now in front of the others.
“He slung his arm casually around her shoulder beaming “And how’s my bestest friend this morning? All ready for heading home?”
“As ready as I will ever be” Anneka shot him a grateful smile realising he was letting everyone know there was no hard feelings about the night before, and she could relax a little easier.
As if to reiterate that things were good with them, he sat next to her on the plane when they finally took of for home a few hours later.
“You don’t have to do this you know, Going out of your way being nice to me, as if nothing happened last night, they are all probably wondering what is going on with us” she surmised, still feeling a little guilty and not deserving the consideration he was showing her.
“Let them think what they like, we sorted it out last night. I told you I was going to be your friend, and friends stick by each other”
“Yes they do” Anneka let out a heavy sigh, “I wasn’t much of a friend though” she pointed out gloomily
“Hey. C’mon, enough of the guilt trip,” Bono told her covering his hand over hers to squeeze it reassuringly, “Besides you had your reasons. Misinformed reasons yeah,” he conceded with a short nod of his head, “But that wasn’t your fault. When I speak to Laurie again I am going to put her straight, she had no right to have a go at you like that” he finished grimly
“Oh don’t say anything to her” Anneka urged, suddenly feeling uneasy, she did not want to be the cause of another confrontation between Bono and his ex wife. Then hesitated before adding in deliberation studying his reaction as she spoke
“I think she still has feelings for you, despite all that has happened. Perhaps she hopes there is a possibility you will get back together someday”
Though his eyes were hidden behind his shades she had been up close and personal enough times to recognise his reaction even when he wore them, Although he did not speak, she could see how his jaw line tighten and go taunt as he give her words consideration, his head then swivelled round to look at her
“What makes you say that?” he finally asked
Anneka shrugged, feeling his blue eyes penetrating her through his shades, “It was just the feeling I got, like she still felt in some way you belonged to her, and she was warning me of”
Bono shook his head, his lips twisting into a wry crooked smile “Well she has got that all wrong, if that is the case”
“I’m sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything, it is just stirring up bad memories” Anneka found herself apologising. It was a subject neither of them had really wanted to tackle or talk about from their past, and had manage to mostly avoid, until now.
“It’s Ok” Bono replied, pausing as he was lost in his own thoughts before addressing Anneka again
“Actually when she split up with Jake and we were going through our divorce, there was a while I considered trying to make another go of it. If she had asked me to take her back, I think I would have” he admitted
“Really?” Anneka enquired in surprise, “Why didn’t you?”
Bono rubbed his stubbled chin looking thoughtful, “ In the end she never asked. If she was waiting for me to make the first move, it wasn’t happening. My male pride wouldn’t let me I guess, I still felt the injured party in the whole mess”
He shrugged dismissively,
“Anyway time just went on, and I found out she had picked up another new man, so the divorce went through. Looking back now it was the right decision, I don’t think we could have made it work. And I have moved on so much since then, my feelings for her have completely changed, there is no way I could make a go of it again with her, whatever there was between us is gone, for me anyway” he let out a long sigh
“That’s just the way it goes sometimes”
“Yeah I guess so” Anneka replied, “I know things were very embittered between me and Jake through the whole divorce, we ended up hating each other. It’s not something I want to experience again” she recalled with a slight shudder.
“It wasn’t easy for any of us” Bono remarked, “And left some of us more damaged than others, which is sad” he observed quietly his blue eyes were penetrating into her again, Anneka felt her cheeks heat up knowing he was referring to her
He suddenly sat up and removed his shades, looking solemn, “It just occurred to me that another reason for your reluctance to get involved with me was because you thought you might stand in the way of me and Laurie getting back together.. I just want to let you know that is not the case, whether we end up together or not, like I already told you, whatever I had with Laurie is gone. So don’t ever think you came along and spoiled some chance of us getting back together. It is never going to happen” he assured her
“You know it isn’t only that” Anneka protested gently and stared down at her fidgeting fingers, “Its just too many things”
“I know” Bono replied “But I just wanted to get that clear, y’know just in case you have a change of heart” he grinned.
Despite their seriousness of their conversation and her feelings, Anneka couldn’t help laughing, “You are incorrigible, do you know that? You don‘t give up easy do you?”
“I wouldn’t be Bono if I did” he stated, and she realised he had never spoken truer words.
thanks for posting this, get well soon!
