Invite them in for tea and crumpets. Dress up like the Queen and talk with a British accent. Fart midway through tea. Excuse yourself. Return dressed as someone else (William Shatner perhaps?) Tell them the Queen is in the back making out with Mussolini. Ask them if they've ever had tea with Mussolini. Ask them if they'd like to see 'Tea with Mussolini.' Watch them run out the door, or just become very fascinated with you...