ouizy
Rock n' Roll Doggie
I usually do not confess much, but someone at my workplace has driven me crazy.
At work I sit next to a man who can only be described by saying he IS Milton from Office Space.
Milton:
Background:
My team is working on a huge project in our friendly neighbor Canada. It is higly technical and there are huge amounts of data that flow daily. The bulk of the work is computer based architectural drawings, and we have a huge number of consultants around the world on the team. That said, most of the people on my team are involved in drawings. Not the man who sits next to me. He is 53 and he will be referred to as Milton.
Milton has worked at my firm for over 20 years and has been laid off, re-hired, laid off, re-hired and now sits next to me. He is not allowed to do drawings, but he is responsible for all the electronic information for the team. Milton's brain is like a sponge and he knows everything about everything. He can tell you the history of the local government in a small African country, or the best recipie for cornbread. He lives an alternative lifestyle and when I was first hired I was convinced he was a drunk. Now, this may still be true as whenever we go out for drinks as a team, he is done with his 4th martini when I am ordering my second beer. Also, he was the one who took me out to lunch the first day I started and he thought is was a good idea to have a bottle of white wine at lunch. I simply thought it was curious.
Problem:
Milton sits directly next to me, and we do not sit in cubicles, but in a U-shaped space with two people per U. In the past two years, my team has been moved 4 times throughout the firms 5 floors. I have never sat next to Milton, but always near him. He is a loud man who can be very annoying. I now sit next to him. We actually sit with our backs to each other and he always has a fan directly on him due to his high metabolism. So the fan is at my back all day. He seems to smell kinda funny, and at lunch he always scarfs down the same thing from the same deli, and then proceeds to read the New York Times cover to cover. He complains how liberal the rag is, yet he reads it every day.
Milton talks to himself. He is a computer programmer who thinks his job runs the show. He is continuously talking be it to someone else, or to himself. He believes every data entry is critical. The project has been going on for 6 years now, is worth $4 Billion, and is substantially constructed. He still believes every computer file he touches is the end all to the project and if something were to be input incorrectly the architect would give out the wrong design, thus the engineering consultant would provide the wrong system, thus the construction manager would inform the contractor to install the wrong device, thus the contractor would install the wrong thing in the wrong place and the building would fall down.
Ain't happening Milton.
The man drives me crazy. He looks just like the character in the movie and the firm even tried to sit him in a closet in move #2. I am not kidding. I am now stuck sitting next to him as our team was down-sized and he speaks in tongues. You would think he was responsible for building the airport himself. I know for a fact some of my compadres in Canada are consiously not returning his phone calls, and I know that people on my team are not reading his doomsday emails. How do I know this? Milton likes to show me his printed out emails with the "read-receipt" function on. That basically tells you who has read your email and who has not. He recently sent one out which he thought was critical in the relationship of the two main firms on the job and he sent it out to twenty people in two countries. He showed me the receipt and one person from my firm had opened it (by mistake.)
I think it is actually a shame that I saw Office Space as now I compare everything my Milton does to the Milton from the movie. It is horrific. As we just moved, I see myself sitting next to the 53 year old (who has the same skill-set as me - over 20 years his younger) for at least a year.
I will try not to kill him, if he tries to not burn the place down.
Troubled,
At work I sit next to a man who can only be described by saying he IS Milton from Office Space.
Milton:
Background:
My team is working on a huge project in our friendly neighbor Canada. It is higly technical and there are huge amounts of data that flow daily. The bulk of the work is computer based architectural drawings, and we have a huge number of consultants around the world on the team. That said, most of the people on my team are involved in drawings. Not the man who sits next to me. He is 53 and he will be referred to as Milton.
Milton has worked at my firm for over 20 years and has been laid off, re-hired, laid off, re-hired and now sits next to me. He is not allowed to do drawings, but he is responsible for all the electronic information for the team. Milton's brain is like a sponge and he knows everything about everything. He can tell you the history of the local government in a small African country, or the best recipie for cornbread. He lives an alternative lifestyle and when I was first hired I was convinced he was a drunk. Now, this may still be true as whenever we go out for drinks as a team, he is done with his 4th martini when I am ordering my second beer. Also, he was the one who took me out to lunch the first day I started and he thought is was a good idea to have a bottle of white wine at lunch. I simply thought it was curious.
Problem:
Milton sits directly next to me, and we do not sit in cubicles, but in a U-shaped space with two people per U. In the past two years, my team has been moved 4 times throughout the firms 5 floors. I have never sat next to Milton, but always near him. He is a loud man who can be very annoying. I now sit next to him. We actually sit with our backs to each other and he always has a fan directly on him due to his high metabolism. So the fan is at my back all day. He seems to smell kinda funny, and at lunch he always scarfs down the same thing from the same deli, and then proceeds to read the New York Times cover to cover. He complains how liberal the rag is, yet he reads it every day.
Milton talks to himself. He is a computer programmer who thinks his job runs the show. He is continuously talking be it to someone else, or to himself. He believes every data entry is critical. The project has been going on for 6 years now, is worth $4 Billion, and is substantially constructed. He still believes every computer file he touches is the end all to the project and if something were to be input incorrectly the architect would give out the wrong design, thus the engineering consultant would provide the wrong system, thus the construction manager would inform the contractor to install the wrong device, thus the contractor would install the wrong thing in the wrong place and the building would fall down.
Ain't happening Milton.
The man drives me crazy. He looks just like the character in the movie and the firm even tried to sit him in a closet in move #2. I am not kidding. I am now stuck sitting next to him as our team was down-sized and he speaks in tongues. You would think he was responsible for building the airport himself. I know for a fact some of my compadres in Canada are consiously not returning his phone calls, and I know that people on my team are not reading his doomsday emails. How do I know this? Milton likes to show me his printed out emails with the "read-receipt" function on. That basically tells you who has read your email and who has not. He recently sent one out which he thought was critical in the relationship of the two main firms on the job and he sent it out to twenty people in two countries. He showed me the receipt and one person from my firm had opened it (by mistake.)
I think it is actually a shame that I saw Office Space as now I compare everything my Milton does to the Milton from the movie. It is horrific. As we just moved, I see myself sitting next to the 53 year old (who has the same skill-set as me - over 20 years his younger) for at least a year.
I will try not to kill him, if he tries to not burn the place down.
Troubled,