i need some advice

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
See posts with no answers
Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Refugee
Joined
Apr 14, 2002
Messages
2,064
Location
Halifax
i have a we bit of a problem and everyone i ask for advice seems to say something totally different. i am sooooo confused. :crazy:

i was in toronto recently to see friends and coldplay and i absolutely loved it there. everytime i go there i wanna stay but everytime i come home and i miss it. my friend is so bugging me to move up with her and i really want to but there is one slight hitch in my plan.....my bf of 4 1/2 years.....he hates toronto and says he'll never move there....EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

i live in booneyville aka halifax and i want out. it's a nice city of about 200 000 people but it's so isolated from everything. i have lived here for almost 6 years and i want to move somewhere else...somewhere bigger....while i'm still young. but if i go i have to leave him behind.

he says that if i really wanna go than i should and he'll be here when i get back. more problems: 1. what if i go and dont' wanna come back and 2. i know he's only saying that cause he doesn't think i will go through with it.

F#%@ing HELL! why can't life and decisons be easy? i want it all...my bf and toronto....but it seems that i'm going to have to choose one or the other. i can't and i dont' want to. if i choose my bf then i'll be stuck living in a place where i don't wanna be for the rest of my life and/or relationship, and if i choose to move then i don't know what is going to happen to our relationship. i realize that people have long distance relationships all the time but i don't know if i want that either.

:help:
 
pretty much everytime i visit a different city outside of Atlanta i am pretty much ready to move. i have lived in Atlanta all of my life so you can imagine how much i want to live and experience life somewhere else. i tend to freak myself out and stop pursuing my desires to move to another city but i would love to have the chance to do so. at least by moving to Toronto you will already know people so that could make the adjustment easier. now with the boyfriend issue, long distance is not easy, it could make your relationship stronger or it could break it apart if you move. you never know he may want to go to Toronto with you. ;)
 
martha said:
Choose yourself. Go to Toronto.


(Maybe you'll meet a more flexible guy there.)
Click to expand...

:up: I agree. If he were your husband, that would be another thing (as in, marriages require compromises). But he's not. So go and enjoy yourself and live a little. T.O. sounds like a great place to live.
 
i was talking to another one of my friends last night who is in the same position as me. both our bf are homebodies. :lol: she wants to move way up north so she can pay off her student loans faster but her bf doesn't wanna go. (i don't blame him really cause i wouldn't wanna go either). well at least i don't feel like i'm the only one with this issue anymore.

but i'm really starting to consider moving up to TO in the fall. me and my bf are going to florida in september so i would wait til after i get back to move.

i'm just really scared of the consequences of all of this. if i go then i will be leaving not only my bf but friends, family, my job, etc. but deep down inside i think it's the right thing to do for me right now.

i think i need a good kick in the arse to get me going. :lol:
 
I agree with martha. You're not married. Follow your heart. If the relationship is meant to be, it will continue.
 
I did not know Ouizy is Lester B. Pearson

MissVelvetDress_75 said:
pretty much everytime i visit a different city outside of Atlanta i am pretty much ready to move.
Click to expand...

I am the SAME way. But just not Atlanta...and I just moved.

Toronto is a great city...and huge. Like owhat others have said, if it was meant to be - you guys will find a way to be together (seperate cities/he moves/you come back).

Now, I wnat to know more about Halifax. I am thinking about visiting Halifax this summer.
 
it's a nice quiet city. people say that's it very laid back. great night life. the bars and restaurants are so close that you couldn't walk around without stumbling over one. accomadations are pretty cheap compaired to most cities. halifax and the rest of nova scotia are very tourist driven so their woudn't be a lack of stuff to see or do while your here.

in july i think there is some sorta theatre group festival going on with theatre groups coming in from all over the world. we have a huge buskers festival on the waterfront every year in august which is quite entertaining. i'm sure there is a bunch of other stuff that goes on that i haven't heard about.

any other questions you have you can just pm me and i'll try to help ya out.
 
I agree with the majority here. I say go and I'm not sure but if you are young then that's the best time to explore. YOU will meet new people, get a new job, and return to visit. If it was meant to be then I'm sure he'll head that way too.

Chisa
 
I think that your decision needs to be based on what sort of a future you have with this guy. If you think that he could be 'the one' then you two should talk, as a couple, about what you both need. I am sure that you are finding it hard to understand that he won't move with you, but he is proboably finding it just as hard to understand why you want to go. Perhaps if you both talk about your reasons then one of you will be willing to comprimise.

However, if you don't see him as part of your future then come to Toronto. It is a wonderful city, full of wonderful people. I moved here (just from the 'burbs) a year ago and I have never been happier. We have great job opportunities, great restaraunts, great theatre, great museums, and tons of other things to see and do.

Not only that, but we have a really, really active U2 fan club, so you could meet people and make new friends right off the bat.

TORONTO ROCKS!
 
well....here's an update.

i was talking to my bf about it and he said that he would be ok with me moving away for awhile but he wouldn't be able to come with me. he said we could do the long distance thing for a bit and then we could make a decision about where to live later after i've been in toronto for awhile to see if i want to say there for longer.

i stilll don't think he will ever move to toronto but at least it's a start that he might consider it. who knows...i might not like it there (doubt it).

thanks for all your wonderful advice. sometimes you just need an impartial opinion....someone who isn't already to involved in everything to get your head on straight.

i'll keep you guys updated as things progress.

Cheers,

Susan :D
 
Sweet Tart said:
he said we could do the long distance thing for a bit and then we could make a decision about where to live later after i've been in toronto for awhile to see if i want to say there for longer.

Click to expand...

I think that's the right thing to do.
Go there, if he really loves you, it wont take much time to make him understand that Toronto maybe is not so bad.
 
sounds like you're making the right decision. if things are meant to be, I'm sure you two will work it out as things progress. Best of luck! :up:
 
update #2:

well i now have a definate place to live up in toronto. my friend and her roommate said i could definately stay with them. so that's one thing down and a million to go. :lol:

my bf said last night that he thinks i really need to do this cause i'm looking a bit sad lately. he's becoming a bit more supportive of my need to roam so to speak. he doesn't like it but i think he understands that it's something i need to do right now to make me happy.

now all that's left is to tell my parents (my father is going to kill me), leave my jobs (scary as hell as i got big student loans), and buy a plane ticket ( which i think is the easiest thing outta the three if you exclude the fact that i don't know when i wanna go).

damn i am such a mess. i think i'm making a bigger deal outta things than i need to. i'm such a drama queen. :lmao:
 
update #3

my boss approved my 1 year LOA today so this is it i'm definately going on October 10. i can't believe this is finally happening.

i'm kinda scared.
 
Sweettart! That's great to hear....

You should sign up for the U2_GTA and get to know all of us Toronto fan's before you move here.... myself, mrs. edge, whack-a-mole, and alienvy are all members and we would love to help you get acquainted to our lovely city.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/U2_GTA/

I am really happy that everything worked out for you and that you are doing exactly what you want to do. If only we all did that. :D
 
spinninghead77 said:
Sweettart! That's great to hear....

You should sign up for the U2_GTA and get to know all of us Toronto fan's before you move here.... myself, mrs. edge, whack-a-mole, and alienvy are all members and we would love to help you get acquainted to our lovely city.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/U2_GTA/

I am really happy that everything worked out for you and that you are doing exactly what you want to do. If only we all did that. :D
Click to expand...

thanks...i will :D
 
Just catching up on some threads...and that's great news that you're coming to T.O.! You'll have a wonderful time. Look forward to meeting you! :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Digital Spy 2
I am back
Replies
2
Views
332
Digital Spy 2
Digital Spy 2
S
"Red Zone"
Replies
4
Views
3K
Racerke
R
U
Hey there! I finally made an account here!
Replies
2
Views
351
U2_family365
U
Achtung_Bebe
IO: It's been a while...
Replies
2
Views
1K
mikal
mikal
Miroslava
Friday, February 23, 2024 - MSG Sphere - Las Vegas, NV
Replies
2
Views
573
Miroslava
Miroslava

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom