I am 34 and still live at home

[joerags]

I am 34 and still live at home. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes not. But lately, it really bothers me a lot.

I work two jobs. I have a full-time job and a part-time job, but they are both low-paying jobs. I have worked at both jobs for 12 years.

There is no way I can live on my own. I feel like I am stuck and won't be able to find a good-paying job. I am kinda satisfied with my situation and I am not looking to better myself. I still live at home, so I am just saving my money, which is very little to begin with. So am I doing the right thing? The thing is, my mother is 67 and I know she is not going to live forever. I am afraid that I am going to be alone and have to try to survive on my low salary. This scares me a lot, so much so that I am afraid that I will kill myself. I am going to be old, alone and poor.

I am scared of the future. The full-time job isn't in good shape. I think the company is going to be out of business. So I am left with my part-time job. I have tried to get a full-time job there, but I haven't been successful.

I have thought of going back to school and make a career change. But I am afraid that I am going to waste time and won't find a good-paying job, again.

God, I am the perfect example of a loser.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

don't be frustrated by things. i know it's hard, but believe me you're not alone. it used to be those who still lived with their parents past the age of, say, 25 were considered losers, deadbeats, and lazy. things have changed. the job market these days sucks, and it's getting harder to make ends meet. every single person i work with has two jobs, so you're definitely not alone on that front.

you're not a loser, it's terrible that the economy has forced the majority to work two jobs and/or live with their parents, yet so many still have the old mindset from decades past that only unmotivated people still do that.

do either of your companies offer any kind of educational reimbursement?

 

[Mofo]

well a nice solution would be opening a small business, what do you love, what would you like to do for a living given the opportunity?

Are you happy living with your mom? is it an issue when dating?

 

[Liesje]

I would give school a try. I don't know how it works in general, but I know the school where I work would give you a TON of money b/c 1) you would file FAFSA as an independent and your low income would work in your favor and 2) you'd be a "non-traditional" student and since there are fewer of these, those scholarships and grants are far less competitive. You could find a school in a cheaper area. For as poor as Phil and I are, we can afford to live in our own apartment or duplex with three cats and two dogs on only my income. I don't know how NJ compares, but my guess is that any coastal area is way more expensive. School is more than just getting the grades and the degree. They have entire departments devoted just to helping students network, snag internships, and get hooked up with real jobs.

 

[joerags]

do either of your companies offer any kind of educational reimbursement? [/B]

Unfortunately, no. What frustrates me is that other people my age don't live at home, while I still do. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. That's why I feel like a loser. I know that I need to save as much money as possible, and watch what I spend. I want to have the balls to move out and live on my own and see if I can do it. I want to do it, but the one thing that holds me back is the money thing. If I was making a lot of money, I would definitely try to live on my own. But I don't make a lot of money. I went to college and got a B.A. 12 years ago. I am also doing what I have studied. I am a sports journalist for my full-time job for a company that has a group of weeky newspapers, and a part-time clerk for the sports department at my other job, which is a daily newspaper. But I am not a good enough writer to become a full-timer at the daily newspaper.

 

[joerags]

well a nice solution would be opening a small business, what do you love, what would you like to do for a living given the opportunity?

Are you happy living with your mom? is it an issue when dating?

I know that I have to do a career change. The question is, what do I want to do? I have thought about being a teacher. I have thought about going to a trade school (computers). But I am afraid that I am going to put in so much time and energy and still end up with a low-paying job.

I am okay with living with my mom. She is a widow. I don't date because I am not good looking and I am not confident when it comes to women, but that is a whole different topic/thread.

 

[Mofo]

well you really have to dig deep inside to see what you like doing, look into the teacher thing, get out of town for a weekend, somewhere close and cheap where you can give it some real thought, I did that a year and a half ago and found a lot of answers as to what I wanted to do with my life

 

[redhotswami]

i'd recommend visiting this site:
http://www.careerdirections.ie/

keep taking the assessment until you've answered all the questions to get the most accurate matches. it is a very great web site and will match you up with possible career fields based on your interests and talents.

it even provides details on what level of education is needed for those careers (i.e. if you needed to go back to school.) if your matches do require more education, visit www.gradschools.com and do a search for those particular fields. i also recommend education.yahoo.com for a grad school search, but that site has not been running lately.

funding grad school will NOT be an issue. many grad students can get an assistantship which covers tuition AND provides a stipend. my current grad students make more money in their assistantships than i do in my full-time job. and i have a master's degree!!!!

and don't be afraid to step into something new. there are plenty of grad school programs that welcome career changers, and some will even have a pre-admissions program to provide you with some core courses to help you build a foundation in the field. you don't need to go back to undergrad to change fields.

 

[Hinder]

I'm 31 and would /love/ to live with my mom, or some other human, again. Only reason I don't is because people, in general, expect to have a room mate who is interested in a friendship with them. Not exactly something I'd be willing to do.

 

[gman]

Sounds like you could do with boosting your self esteem more than anything first.
I think the rest would fall in place naturally. I Hope you get it all sorted pal.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

i see you live in new jersey... if you live anywhere near new york city, i would suggest moving as far away from NYC as possible.

trust me... i feel your pain. i'm only 26 but i had to move back home because the rent around here is too expensive unless you have a couple of roommates.

 

[Mofo]

I'm 31 and would /love/ to live with my mom, or some other human, again. Only reason I don't is because people, in general, expect to have a room mate who is interested in a friendship with them. Not exactly something I'd be willing to do.

any particular reason?

 

[Illumination70]

I know that I have to do a career change. The question is, what do I want to do? I have thought about being a teacher. I have thought about going to a trade school (computers). But I am afraid that I am going to put in so much time and energy and still end up with a low-paying job.

I am okay with living with my mom. She is a widow. I don't date because I am not good looking and I am not confident when it comes to women, but that is a whole different topic/thread.

I'm in the same boat because I'm an adult woman who is living with her parents and it stinks.
As for me "bettering myself", I'm currently taking computer classes at a nearby YWCA which are free and are oppen to the public

 

[MrPryck2U]

I lived at "home" until I was 31. It's not too much of a big deal as long as you and your mom give each other a certain level of privacy/space. Then of course there's the eventual situation with bringing someone back to your house to hang for the evening. If this is not an awkward experience for you and mom, keep saving your money and keep living at home. I would also suggest you seek some form of counseling because it sounds like your esteem is badly bruised. Hang in there.