hula hoops!

[foray]

Hula Hoops!, a love story


it's a buzzing bee
around your body
now hugging the curve of your waist
now caressing your belly
never touching two places at once
and when you give up
it whirls to a stop
as if confused it goes round & round
til it's just a plain hoop at your feet now.



foray

 

[oliveu2cm]

awesome foray

love using the hoola hoop as a love metaphor, so unique!

what to highlight.. i like the whole thing

now hugging the curve of your waist
now caressing your belly

So sensual and yet so carefree/childlike with the "buzzing bee" proceeding it, plus the imagry of the hoola hoop.

never touching two places at once
and when you give up
it whirls to a stop

the first line there is awesome, makes you think.

interesting how it falls to the ground only when you give up.

Olive

 

[Blue_Angel]

interesting how it falls to the ground only when you give up.

damn foray you are really good at poetry!
this is fun and playful, and yet very honest too

 

[foray]

Thanks, ladies. Honestly, I wrote this in under one minute, it skipped off my head just like that.

Tra la la la.. I'm so happy.


4a

 

[Blue_Angel]

yay foray I am glad you're happy!! I am so happy too lately, but its kinda a mix of happiness and sadness, weird and beautiful

you write really good poetry for something that was written that quickly

 

[The Wanderer]

wow, this made me smile in more ways than one