Alan Jamison
War Child
Certainly I can be precise, old sport.
In answer to your question, chum, it all has to do with how much tape I have on hand. You see, Sheila Hurtz will smoke three cigarettes at once, but she insists that I first affix them to her lower lip with tape. She further requires that I leave these three cigarettes unlit for four hours, during which time she makes her way down the street to the shops.
When Ms. Hurtz - my girlfriend - returns from the shops, I light the cigarettes and she smokes them. While she's taking drag after drag, I usually carefully pull one of the smokes from her lip, discarding the tape, and I smoke it.
We do this four times daily.
So, to answer your question, my good fellow, Sheila Hurtz and I together smoke approximately 168 - maybe 168.5 if we're being naughty - cigarettes per fortnight. Of course, none of this works if I don't have the tape.
In answer to your question, chum, it all has to do with how much tape I have on hand. You see, Sheila Hurtz will smoke three cigarettes at once, but she insists that I first affix them to her lower lip with tape. She further requires that I leave these three cigarettes unlit for four hours, during which time she makes her way down the street to the shops.
When Ms. Hurtz - my girlfriend - returns from the shops, I light the cigarettes and she smokes them. While she's taking drag after drag, I usually carefully pull one of the smokes from her lip, discarding the tape, and I smoke it.
We do this four times daily.
So, to answer your question, my good fellow, Sheila Hurtz and I together smoke approximately 168 - maybe 168.5 if we're being naughty - cigarettes per fortnight. Of course, none of this works if I don't have the tape.