A co-worker committed suicide today

[trevster2k]

A guy at work hanged himself a couple of hours before our shift started today. When I arrived at work, I was told we were having a meeting. I then found out that grief counsellors were coming too. That was when we were told what happened.

Apparently, they told us he had been dealing with depression over the past few months and his family was trying to get him to get treatment. I along with a few others had to leave work as it just messed with my head too much. I wasn't close to him but did sit next to him in the lunch room and chat occasionally with him. I initially had those feelings of guilt about seeing signs but as the counsellor explained, he wouldn't even let the professionals know his real issues and he was good at hiding it.

We are raising some money at work to assist his family. This is the 3rd suicide at my work place since I have been there over almost 10 years. The first time that I worked closely with the person. Pretty brutal.

 

[BluRmGrl]

That is quite a shock to absorb, especially in your workplace. Do you work in what could be considered a high pressure job? With three suicides in 10 yrs - especially if they've all been on site!! - seems as though there might be a greater need for counseling than just when a tragedy's already happened.

 

[trevster2k]

Sorry if you misunderstood, none of the suicides have been on-site. The person today hanged himself at home in his shed a couple of hours before our shift started. His wife called a friend to come over to talk to him. The friend was a volunteer rescue person and opened the shed to find him. He immediately called a first response unit and the first person to arrive was the nephew of the guy who killed himself. Totally awful. They had a chance to save him but he was pronounced dead at the hospital.

I work in a plywood mill. A manufacturing place. I am leaving this summer to return to school in my hometown far far away from here.

This is a small northern community of 7000 people, three and a half hours drive from the nearest major centre. The workplace is hardly stressful but management is awful with no regard for the well-being of the employees. Long cold winters don't help either. I think all these factors have some impact on the problem but I am not an expert. I agree that the workplace should be discussing this but they won't.

 

[BonoIsMyMuse]

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I hope you're feeling better. Even if he wasn't someone you knew well, it's still a shock.

 

[martha]

Sorry Trev. That's a blow that's hard to deal with. I'm glad you're leaving soon.

 

[BluRmGrl]

OK... I did misunderstand that part. Still, it's very sad - and eerily similar to my week. I have a 23 yr old 2nd cousin who attempted to hang himself in a hotel last weekend. He managed to get the oxygen cut off to his brain long enough that by the time he was found, rushed to the hospital & hooked up on life support, the doctors told his family there was absolutely no chance of recovery. They made the decision Wednesday morning to pull the plug and he was buried today.

From what I've been told, this wasn't his first attempt at suicide but it's still always a bit disturbing when you get the news. Even more so when it catches you blind sided. My prayers for your co-worker's family - they have a lot of healing and pain to get through. ray:

 

[A_Wanderer]

Suicide sucks for the people that are alive to deal with the fallout, and thats from experience.

 

[Carek1230]

Wow, Trev, I am so sorry to hear about this. I know how you feel tho, we lost one of our guards at work 2 years ago, he did the same thing tho it completely shocked all of us because as nice as the guard was, friendly and talkative, he didn't talk to anyone or let on he was having troubles. We also raised money for his family. It's so sad to be working with someone and suddenly they are gone....GONE from this earth forever.

At least your employer called in grief counselors, and good for you taking the time you need to keep your head and heart together. Pray for your friend's soul, may he rest in peace now, and for the family and loved ones he left behind.

 

[yolland]

I'm so sorry it happened like that trev. That is the worst way to lose someone. I know what that feeling that you should've tried to do something more is like...you worry about people sometimes but no one ever really expects something like that to happen. That's a good thing they made counselors available to you although as others said, kind of scary to think that at one workplace in one small town you'd have three employees kill themselves in ten years. Peace to you and your coworkers and his family.

 

[fah]

I'm really sorry to hear about your co-worker

 

[Lila64]

So sorry to read this trevster

Condolences to you as well BluRmGrl

 

[trevster2k]

Thanks for the kind words and thoughts everyone.

Sorry about your loss BluRmGrl.

 

[Thora]

So sorry to read of this, trev.

 

[bonoishot]

Sorry to hear about your coworker.

Condolences to BluRmGrl aswell.

 

[BonosBaby12]

I am so sorry Trev about your coworker Trev that is so sad

BluRmGrl my condolences to you too with your loss

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

I'm so sorry to hear about that Trev and BluBm Grl. For both of you.

 

[JCOSTER]

Blu and Trev I am so sorry that you both had to go through something like that. It is really horrible to experience or even know anyone who has done that. I'll be thinking of you both.

 

[HeartlandGirl]

Something similar happened to me in college. I was in an ancient Greek class, and it was pretty small (around 10 people). One morning I read it in the paper that one of my classmates had killed himself. I found out later he had killed himself because his family (esp. his mother) couldn't handle his homosexuality. He was such a friendly, witty, smart guy, and our class felt his absence. Very sad. And even though we weren't more than classmates, it still affected me, and I still think of him sometimes all these years later. I hope he is at peace.

My condolences and thoughts are with all of you dealing with something like this.

 

[Got Philk?]

Hey Trev...
I'm so sorry to hear about this. At my last job, I only got pretty close to a few people. One of them I soon found was manic depressive. I knew she was cutting herself, and did ask her about it once. Of course she blew me off. But one day, she didn't show up for work. It was the first of 2 times she attempted suicide while I worked with her.

I guess my point is, though we did get along, I only knew her for a couple months. But it effected me a lot. So hang in there. Take care of yourself too. And I'll be praying for all of you.

 

[sue4u2]

I worked with someone ( a few years back) who gave up trying to deal with his family's abuse after his coming out.
He had hid it for so long and even though he knew, his friends knew, he couldn't get past his family not understanding.
He shot himself and everyone in the company went to his funeral. His parents were completely surprised to know he had so many friends who knew he was gay.
and that "they", the parents, were the only one's that had a problem with it.

 

[BluRmGrl]

Thanks for all the kind words guys, but I feel like I've highjacked Trev's thread. I only mentioned it because the situation was so recent and similar to Trev's co-worker's. Anyway, you're all very compassionate souls to try & comfort us and it's greatly appreciated.

Trev, I hope the weekend's allowed you to time to deal with this in your own way.

 

[Justin24]

sorry to hear about your co-worker trev. Keep strong.

 

[Carmelu2fan]

I feel lucky that no one I know has ever commented suicide. I could not imagine hating my life so much that I would want to end it. I would just imagine all the people that do care and would miss me.

To trev and Blu

 

[BluRmGrl]

I feel lucky that no one I know has ever commented suicide. I could not imagine hating my life so much that I would want to end it. I would just imagine all the people that do care and would miss me.

To trev and Blu

It's not always about anger, though - my dad loved life until some psychcological issues developed when he was in his late 50s. His mind finally became so fractured that by age 61 he was convinced that suicide wasn't only an option for him, but the way to end his fear and frustration.

Regardless, it's always tragic when someone ends their own life and my heart goes out to anyone who's had to deal with that whether directly or indirectly.

 

[cobl04]

A Year Nine at our school committed suicide the other night. A Year nine. Apparently he was bullied, but to for a year nine to take his own life is tragic, and left the entire school, very quiet.

My sympathies to BluRmGrl and Trev.

 

[trevster2k]

Sorry to hear about that young life being lost COBL_04 in your school.

 

[cell]

my cousin committed suicide 3 weeks ago. he was 14 years old. his mother, i can say so many negative things about her treatment of her son beforehand...but its not gonna do any good, and im sure she's now realizing too late.

my condolences to those affected

 

[U2Kitten]

I'm sorry

 

[gherman]

Sorry to hear this. You mentioned there were other suicides at your work place, is your job stressfull or were the suicides work related? My mother-in-law is a social worker and has seen similar things. The workers get so affected by what they are doing they become very depressed and kill themselves. Its not that it happens all the time but she is having health related problems now due to the stress.