in the example above, i totally agree.
however, are there different motivations for rape? is all rape motivated solely by power? are there other motivations?
this is not to delve into horrid, Republican discussions about "forcible" rape (and abortion funding) and whatnot -- i think we all agree that rape is unwanted sexual intercourse. what i am curious about are the motivations that lead one to rape. i have to think that it has to be more complex for some than just "power" alone.
Maybe some will disagree with this, but I tend to think most women find the whole concept of sexualized aggression very, very difficult to relate to and therefore to understand. I don't know why that should be really, since in role-playing (S/M) and/or fantasy scenarios many women
do have and enjoy those kinds of feelings, i.e. dominating someone who's "asking for it," but in any even remotely possibly non-consensual scenario...the idea that
that could ever be arousing, I think that's just extremely difficult for almost any woman to relate to. I don't think that's the main reason for whatever gender gap exists on questions like whether it's "good" safety advice not to "dress like a slut" in certain situations, but it does exacerbate the disconnect. It's also part of why any comment that smacks of the thinking that rape, groping, sexual harassment etc. are a straightforward result of intense sexual desire (just like you experience, ladies! only waaayy stronger!) tends to make women's blood boil.
I suppose, following up on what Lies said earlier about "susceptibility to tactless men cat-calling you," that I can somewhat see a non-offensive recommendation to dress modestly for safety reasons built on the premise of, Don't hand excuses to the kind of man who's already looking to make them for why you "asked for" sexual harassment or even assault. But especially when violation on the order of rape, i.e. "sex" against your will is the offense in question, that "safety advice" feels like such a kick in the head. Because the reality, and every woman knows it, is that the threat will always be there no matter how you present yourself. Like kafrun and mama cass, I've had the experience of being jumped "with only one thing in mind," and though I did manage to fight off the man, whom I didn't know (not without getting bones broken, I've told this story in here before), that brought home to me that at the end of the day there's absolutely nothing I can do to avoid being
just a slut just a bitch just a whore WTF-ever the enabling conceit is in some man or another's eyes. It's
that that feels debasing, not whether or not there might be some perception of sexiness mixed in there. And if anyone were to have asked at the time...I was wearing baggy jeans and an oversize sweatshirt, and BTW
fuck you for even asking, you know? Any curiosity about that would've felt voyeuristic and humiliating all by itself.