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Old 08-11-2003, 05:18 PM   #16
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Originally posted by nbcrusader
There is no "easy" solution (such as having one parent at home). It takes active engagement in the lives of our children. Values have changes - we want what our parents have, but we want it today.

We're called the 'NOW' generation...
not because we are here now,
but because we want everything now.

Instant money,
instant fame,
instant pleasure,
instant maturity,
instant food.

... ooo.. gotta go... pizza is here!
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Old 08-11-2003, 06:33 PM   #17
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One of the hardest things I am dealing with as a parent is the fact that my wife and I both work. If we were not both teachers I think I would be working two jobs. WE work hard saving so that when we have time off in the summer, we can be with them. It is not easy putting money away for the 9 or so weeks we are without a pay check. In the long run, we believe we are getting more time with them, than we would with one person working nights, the other working days.

My mother-in law, raised two girls on her own. She worked. THey did not have a lot, but the time she spent with them and the organizations, like church and sports, did well to keep them out of trouble even though it was a single parent home. Somehow, though this seems to me to be the rare find.

It does seem that we as a society are missing the ball. I watched my friends kids the other day at a cookout. All of the teenagers had cell phones. Out of the five there, none of them paid their own bills. Non-paid for their own cars. One paid their own insurance. None of them are paying for college themselves. THey were complaining that their parents were making them pay for books.....that was the big discussion....how unfair it was that the parents were not picking up the tab for books.

I jumped into the debate. I pointed out that when I was their ages I bought my own car, I paid for my own insurance, I paid for my own appartment, I paid for my own utilities, I paid for my own books......I paid for my own tuition for my Bachelor's and my Master's degrees and bought a house by the time I was 26.

I worked 40+ hours a week, joined the Army Reserve, and yes, put my self through school.

They stopped talking at that point.

One of the kids was just arriving from his first day of work at a convenience store. Complaining that he had worked all day. He does not want to work this crummy job. He wants more money. 1st day on the job.

Everyone should take some time to go to work in a FOUNDRY in the summer. See what it is to work a job and struggle. Or get a job in a hotel as a maid for housekeeping, or even in the STEWARDING department. There are people, most of them Immigrants that know what it is to WANT something better for themselves. They know what it is to work....and to work for something other than the latest XBOX game.

Peace
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Old 08-11-2003, 06:51 PM   #18
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Old 08-11-2003, 07:18 PM   #19
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dread rules! the kids you talk about sound like the kids I would've been around at the public high school [skipped it for the all girls catholic school where I learned alot more about people in different income brackets]. the thing about my parents was that even though they could easily buy me stuff they didn't. and that is one of the best lessons they ever taught me. Sure, I had friends who had this or that, but so what? what does that teach you? I learned time and time again in life that the most important things are things you can't put a price tag on. and the first people to teach me that were my parents.
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Old 08-11-2003, 10:31 PM   #20
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I agree, sharky, dread, etc, etc. These kids need values and perspective. I also learned from my parents that some things are important and some things are not. If you don't know what matters and what doesn't you're screwed. I think libraries are important. So what if I'm "only" a library clerk. Regardless of pay issues I'm glad I get to do this, I really am.
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Old 08-15-2003, 01:08 AM   #21
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Alright, this is my rant of sorts ...

Personally, I'm sixteen and I live with my mother only. My father lives back in New Zealand. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I feel like I'm turning out fine - I'm not into drugs or binge drinking or anything like that. And I would thank my mother for most of that. She refuses to take any job that would mean she can't pick me up from school and be home for me in the morning or afternoon, she always makes time to spend with me (half an hour at least a day), whenever there's a problem she's always there to help, I've grown up talking to her about everything (issues at school, with friends, in the world, et cetera), and so on. It's really helped my development as a person.

I see so many people at my high school that have become totally messed up - intelligent guys who've thrown their life away because of drugs, girls that don't sell their body but give it away, et cetera - and the majority of them are from homes where, even though they may have all the material things they desire, they do not have the emotional things they NEED. So many parents seem to be totally out of it. Why love your children when you can put them in front of a TV? Why bother checking to see where they are and miss your favourite talk show? Why take time to talk to them when you could go shopping for stuff you don't need? That seems to be the mentality of these parents and I'm not surprised so many of my peers go astray. The article at the start of this thread alarmed me, but I was not surprised by it, and I think that's sad. Stuff like that should not be happening. If parents actually gave their children what they need emotionally, some of these problems may not have arisen in the first place.

Right, I was going to say more, but I just lost my train of thought (thanks a lot, Instant Messenger conversations). Grr.
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Old 08-15-2003, 01:20 AM   #22
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I hope my previous post hasn't come across in a way I didn't mean. It wasn't a criticism of single parent families or any of that. I have complete respect for those who do it on their own. Its an absolute credit to any working parent who is doing it tough without support of a spouse or partner.
I would think that something has changed though. Maybe it hasn't and now as an adult I am seeing things I was oblivious to when a child. There seems to be more materialism than before though. Kids are inundated with technology and toys, things to stimulate and numb the mind - simultaneously. Parents in general are working longer hours to keep up with the general cost of living and demands from their children to provide what is thought of as a necessity. I dont want to point the finger at parents, or anyone. But I honestly think something has changed. Its not for the better. Those who still stick with the tried and true methods and are there for their kids, deserve a thumbs up. Its not easy. But too many dont and the consequences are worrying.
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Old 08-15-2003, 09:48 PM   #23
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Originally posted by Angela Harlem
I hope my previous post hasn't come across in a way I didn't mean. It wasn't a criticism of single parent families or any of that. I have complete respect for those who do it on their own. Its an absolute credit to any working parent who is doing it tough without support of a spouse or partner.
No, it didn't come across that way to me. What's sad though is that some single parent families don't go anywhere because the parent will continually just blame the other parent for everything (I've seen this too often) and it tears everything down. But those like my mother who just get on with it and do their best, I really admire them. If anything, the person I look up to the most in life (and my friends would be shocked to hear it's not Bono) would be my mother, for the way she's just gotten on and done things and raised me to the best of her abilities.

Quote:
I would think that something has changed though. Maybe it hasn't and now as an adult I am seeing things I was oblivious to when a child. There seems to be more materialism than before though.
Whenever my Mum or, when I see him, my Dad talk about their childhood, I definitely get the impression something has changed. The childhood they describe sounds so much different to what I've experienced, and it seems like there is more materialism than before. Indeed, even in the last few years I've noticed it more. When I was primary school age, I remember going outside and playing with my friends, inventing games, throwing balls around, and whatnot, but now, most of the primary school age children I know are much more interested in playing computer or Playstation or any of those other consoles and just demand more and more of it (and, eventually, their parents give in because they think it's the best move, and the cycle of materialism gets worse).

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Kids are inundated with technology and toys, things to stimulate and numb the mind - simultaneously.
I can't disagree with you there. Why play soccer with your friends when you can play it on a computer? Why go jump on a trampoline or climb a tree when you can blow up stuff on an X-Box? That's the mentality ... I live in an area where there are a good deal of families with young children, and I see less and less kids playing outside and doing what I remember doing, and more and more sitting inside, mindlessly staring at a TV or computer screen, playing some game that claims to stimulate their mind but most surely is not as beneficial as going outside and playing with their friends.

Quote:
Parents in general are working longer hours to keep up with the general cost of living and demands from their children to provide what is thought of as a necessity. I dont want to point the finger at parents, or anyone. But I honestly think something has changed. Its not for the better. Those who still stick with the tried and true methods and are there for their kids, deserve a thumbs up. Its not easy. But too many dont and the consequences are worrying.
I think one of the biggest problems is that parents think their children NEED the latest games console, the latest Gameboy, the latest whatever, and that, by providing that, they're being a good parent. But it's just making materialism even worse. These parents are replacing love with objects, and no wonder these children go astray - they're used to getting every materialistic thing they want, but they never feel like they have enough because the love simply is not there. I see people like this at school every day. The happiest kids are almost always those whose parents actually spend time with their kids, are there for them, and give them what they need: love. These kids may not have the best computer or the latest games, but they have what's most important, love, and that's what matters. From my own first-hand experience, those who go astray are almost certainly those who are brought up in materialistic households. Of course, I've just seen one girl totally mess up her life and she had a wonderful home life, but, on the whole, I feel a generalisation like I just made is justified.
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