Outdated Sexist Tradition, Or Just A Gesture Of Courtesy And Respect? - Page 3 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind > Free Your Mind Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 10-10-2007, 10:33 AM   #31
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,984
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Well personally I want things that money can't buy as far as that's concerned, and I would rather have a Diamonique ring or a claddagh ring or something like that than some expensive ring that a guy felt some sort of social pressure to buy. Something that someone goes into debt to buy because he feels pressure to do so has negative meaning to me. If he wants to buy one at some point when he can afford it that's nice, but not necessary. And I would buy him a gift that had symbolic personal meaning to me and it wouldn't have to cost a fortune. The size of the ring has nothing do do with the size of the heart.
__________________

__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 10:39 AM   #32
Blue Crack Distributor
 
LarryMullen's POPAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: I'll be up with the sun, I'm not coming down...
Posts: 53,698
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
The size of the ring has nothing do do with the size of the heart.


Like I said before, something more practical and less symbolic would be fantastic. If the symbol comes in a smaller package or at a much later date, so be it. Getting hitched shouldn't be about material things.
__________________

__________________
LarryMullen's POPAngel is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 10:41 AM   #33
Blue Crack Addict
 
Varitek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: on borderland we run
Posts: 16,861
Local Time: 05:04 AM
If a guy ever asks my parents for permission, they are going to say that he'll have to ask me.
__________________
Varitek is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 10:49 AM   #34
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,685
Local Time: 04:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by LarryMullen's_POPAngel


If the symbol comes in a smaller package
Or maybe a smaller packaged make to look larger:



just look through the magnifying glass...
__________________
BVS is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 11:01 AM   #35
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,984
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Varitek
If a guy ever asks my parents for permission, they are going to say that he'll have to ask me.
I think that's perfect. If it's just a gesture of courtesy and respect these days rather than permission, well both parents should be asked and in a male/female scenario it should be mother and father-or else, at least for me, it gets into that paternalistic ownership type of thing. And if it's just respect well the woman should talk to his parents too because respect in relationships is supposed to be mutual, right?

If a guy can afford it and wants to buy an expensive ring for what I consider to be the right reasons that's nice. If in some alternate universe I married Manny Ramirez well I would expect a fantastic ring, cause that's just pocket change for him. But at a certain point for some people it might be about size in certain ways that have zero to do with the relationship, if you catch my drift
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 11:17 AM   #36
BVS
Blue Crack Supplier
 
BVS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: between my head and heart
Posts: 40,685
Local Time: 04:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Bono's shades
Ugh. This tradition squicks me out. I would defintely NOT want some guy asking my parents' permission to marry me. It's the 21st century and I'm an adult, not a child or a piece of property. I guess I can't see it as just "symbolic" like wearing white. There's lots of other ways to show respect to your prospective parents-in-law. Why not propose and then ask both sets of parents for their blessing rather than "permission"?
My ex-wife is as independent as they come, I called her father and asked for their blessing beforehand. She's very close to her father and I knew it would mean a lot to her father. So the night I asked her, in the midst of all the excitement, during dessert she all of a sudden got serious and with concern said, "you asked my father, right?" So it was obviously important to her as well...

I don't think anyone truly asks for permission these days.
__________________
BVS is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 11:42 AM   #37
Blue Crack Supplier
 
Irvine511's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 30,494
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Headache in a Suitcase
his girlfriend is hardly a very superficial person that would demand such a thing, but, well, i dunno... somethings just are what they are.



according to my straight male friends, there seems to be an unspoken message whenever a woman might pooh-pooh an expensive ring -- "i'm saying it doesn't matter, but if you really loved me, i know you'd find a way to make it happen."
__________________
Irvine511 is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 11:54 AM   #38
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,984
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511

according to my straight male friends, there seems to be an unspoken message whenever a woman might pooh-pooh an expensive ring -- "i'm saying it doesn't matter, but if you really loved me, i know you'd find a way to make it happen."
Not for me, that's no sort of love test for me. Love includes realism, and paying the bills. Maybe that's just their interpretation for their own reasons, I don't know. How do they know that?

Trust me, it would have to be one huge ass spectacular ring for me to put up with Manny Ramirez. Seriously though,if I was marrying Manny it would be because I was truly in love with him and I would wear a bubble gum ring if that's what he gave me-with pride. As long as he ran to first on every hit rather than walking
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 12:14 PM   #39
Blue Crack Distributor
 
LarryMullen's POPAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: I'll be up with the sun, I'm not coming down...
Posts: 53,698
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511




according to my straight male friends, there seems to be an unspoken message whenever a woman might pooh-pooh an expensive ring -- "i'm saying it doesn't matter, but if you really loved me, i know you'd find a way to make it happen."
Now there's an unspoken message I personally would never give.

Maybe those women are of the mindset of "the engagement/wedding has to be a fairytale, which of course has to mean the marriage will be"
__________________
LarryMullen's POPAngel is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 01:14 PM   #40
Blue Crack Supplier
 
Irvine511's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 30,494
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by LarryMullen's_POPAngel
Maybe those women are of the mindset of "the engagement/wedding has to be a fairytale, which of course has to mean the marriage will be"


i think these women (of course not all) are in the mindset of precisely that.
__________________
Irvine511 is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 01:22 PM   #41
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Strong Badia
Posts: 3,430
Local Time: 10:04 AM
On the subject of talking with her father/parents -- you're joining her family. You'd better make sure they want you.

On the subject of rings -- you know, I've just thought the woman who's going to be my wife deserves something nice, just for her. Yes, it was a financial sacrifice to buy her a beautiful ring, but is a sacrifice for the person you love really a sacrifice?

Some of the comments about rings on this board are surprisingly sexist.
__________________
nathan1977 is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 01:52 PM   #42
Blue Crack Addict
 
unico's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Rage Ave.
Posts: 18,747
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by nathan1977
On the subject of talking with her father/parents -- you're joining her family. You'd better make sure they want you.
why then isn't there the same expectation for the woman to ask the man's family?
__________________
unico is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 02:03 PM   #43
Blue Crack Distributor
 
Headache in a Suitcase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Stateless
Posts: 56,427
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511




i think these women (of course not all) are in the mindset of precisely that.
bingo.

http://www1.macys.com/search/results...UCT_TYPE:Rings


that's from macy's... hardly tiffany's. cheepest ring listed as an engagement ring goes for $800 bucks, on sale.

for my own sake, when the time comes that i'm ready to get married, god willing my girlfriend (where/whom ever she is) will have the same attitude that you two have regarding the price of the ring it's self.

i'm not counting on it.
__________________
Headache in a Suitcase is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 02:13 PM   #44
Blue Crack Distributor
 
Headache in a Suitcase's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Stateless
Posts: 56,427
Local Time: 05:04 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by nathan1977
On the subject of rings -- you know, I've just thought the woman who's going to be my wife deserves something nice, just for her. Yes, it was a financial sacrifice to buy her a beautiful ring, but is a sacrifice for the person you love really a sacrifice?

Some of the comments about rings on this board are surprisingly sexist.
care to identify which, exactly, you feel are the sexist comments?
__________________
Headache in a Suitcase is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 02:13 PM   #45
Rock n' Roll Doggie
ALL ACCESS
 
sulawesigirl4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,416
Local Time: 05:04 AM
heck, my boyfriend and I both deposit all of our earnings into a joint account, so if there ever was any ring-buying to be done, it would be done with both our money. And I don't like wearing rings anyways. If I got one it would be a simple braided band. Rocks that stick up get snagged and you have to clean them and stuff. Too much hassle.
__________________

__________________
"I can't change the world, but I can change the world in me." - Bono

sulawesigirl4 is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com