Ask the FYM Mod

[foray]

Who do you most want to meet from Interference?
What do you think of Joel/Elvis?

foray

 

[pax]

what is your IQ?
it seems quite high

db9

I don't actually know. I've always gotten good grades in school and gotten on well with my teachers without being a total teacher's pet, but I think it's more important to work hard and be a kind, genuine person than it is to just be, like, really smart.

 

[pax]

a little off topic but still a question....where in philly do all of you plan to meet? i live 15 mins outside the city...

Well, we're all going to the show on 5/14 together, for starters...are you going? Feel free to PM or e-mail me if you'd like to get in on the gathering--it's not too late.

 

[pax]

Who do you most want to meet from Interference?
What do you think of Joel/Elvis?

foray

Well, obviously, right now I want to meet Ewen more than anyone. But there's a long, long list of Interferencers I'd love to have a beer with, so to speak. Pretty much all the FYM regulars, conservatives, liberals, and everyone in between! Melon, diamond, Dread, nbc, Indra, BostonAnne, Sherry Darling, MrsSpringsteen, popmartijn, Rono, 80su2isBest, macfistowannabe, Scarletwine, deathbear, Lilly (dear Lilly...miss her), sula...anyone I'm forgetting, I'm sorry!

All the Bar kids, too, many of whom I'll be meeting next month, but ESPECIALLY Laura (U2democrat), who won't be joining us. I hope to chaperone her on her swings through DC one of these days, though.

I'd love to meet the whole mod team, and I do play around with the idea of engineering a mod gathering once Sula comes back from her 2 years in the Peace Corps. Maybe maybe.

I'd be happy to meet just about anyone from here. I really do think Interland is full of generous, kind, intelligent, good-hearted people.

***

Joel has a tough job, and I think that, despite the toughness, he's given us a great gift in Interference. I'll always be thankful for that.

 

[Diemen]

Well, obviously, right now I want to meet Ewen more than anyone. But there's a long, long list of Interferencers I'd love to have a beer with, so to speak. Pretty much all the FYM regulars, conservatives, liberals, and everyone in between! Melon, diamond, Dread, nbc, Indra, BostonAnne, Sherry Darling, MrsSpringsteen, popmartijn, Rono, 80su2isBest, macfistowannabe, Scarletwine, deathbear, Lilly (dear Lilly...miss her), sula...anyone I'm forgetting, I'm sorry!

I'm deeply offended.









Hi Abby (April relayed your hi )

 

[Dreadsox]

I am in line behind Diamond?

 

[pax]

Diamond posted a more recent question!

I should never have tried to name names.

Hi Adam...hope all-a-yall had a wonderful time.

 

[diamond]

do u only date boys from your polictical idealogy pool or are u more openminded and review all applicants?

db9

 

[pax]

do u only date boys from your polictical idealogy pool or are u more openminded and review all applicants?

db9

I review(ed) all applicants, so to speak. I dated a guy once who was totally Irish and HUGE IRA supporter, for example. Conservative boys seem to like the fact that I'll argue with them. I used to get into some good ones with a super-conservative dude I worked with, who loved Dubya so much that he had the OFFICIAL George W. Bush calendar in his cubicle. But I recognized that his views were well-researched and thought-out, even if I didn't agree with them.

But I do tend, even if somewhat accidentally, to more frequently become involved with guys closer me to on the spectrum. Ewen and I agree on most things politically, although we disagree about guns, in particular. I find it's less important for me to agree politically than it is to agree spiritually; a lot of my political beliefs come from my spirituality. I'm anti-war and pro-human rights for those reasons, for example, and I think it's because there's spiritual compatibility there that the political compatibility exists as well.

Does that make sense?

 

[diamond]

perfectly

my sweetheart and i are the same away although she has a fetish for my pistola

db9

 

[pax]

 

[diamond]

 

[nbcrusader]

What can the regular member of this forum do to make your job easier?

 

[pax]

What can the regular member of this forum do to make your job easier?

Honestly, most of our regulars do a good job of making the forum hospitable and civil. They've (you've, LOL) been around long enough to know how things work, and generally people have a good sense of what's acceptable and what's not. That's not to say that newbies don't, but more often than not, problems arise when folks are new to FYM and don't quite know how things go here. But we were all once new, and 99 times out of 100, a newbie who's crossed a line is apologetic and respectful, and some of those "noobs" hang around and become regulars!

That said, there are a few things that I think could REALLY make things stay smooth around here:

1.) Avoid inflammatory words like "bullshit," "stupid," "idiotic," etc. You may think that privately, but fighting words only make people defensive--even the smartest, most civil folks around here.

2.) Get past the labels! I describe myself as liberal but hold some conservative views. Some other post-ers here are the opposite. Approach every thread, every issue with an open mind.

3.) Have a sense of humor.

4.) Remember the words of Philo of Alexandria: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

 

[nathan1977]

What do the dates in your sig file mean?

 

[pax]

What do the dates in your sig file mean?

In 15 days, Ewen (another Interferencer) comes to the States to hang out for 3 weeks.

In 199 days, I'll be going to Scotland for 10 days to hang out with Ewen.

The last one is harder to explain...basically, it's a sort of deadline for myself to be doing something different with my life (different, at least, from what I'm doing now).

 

[AcrobatMan]

why dont you post your pic ?

 

[pax]

why dont you post your pic ?

I have a profile pic and a few of myself in my gallery...

And remember, I'm spoken for!

 

[AcrobatMan]

I'm spoken for!

didnt get this American phrase.

I am not a premier member..cant access ur profile.

Please give me link to your gallery

 

[U2Kitten]

Do you ever find yourself taking up for, or giving the benefit of the doubt more, to those who think and believe the same as you against those (like me) that you disagree with?

 

[pax]

didnt get this American phrase.

I am not a premier member..cant access ur profile.

Please give me link to your gallery

It means you shouldn't go winking at my pictures.

You can link to my gallery, or anyone's, by clicking the "gallery" button at the bottom of their posts. I *think* non-Premiums can view galleries, but you have to be Premium to actually have one.

 

[pax]

Do you ever find yourself taking up for, or giving the benefit of the doubt more, to those who think and believe the same as you against those (like me) that you disagree with?

That's a really good question, and one with which I, and I suspect the other mods who frequently mod FYM, wrestle frequently.

I fear that I do the thing you describe--that is, tend to look a little more favorably on people with whom I usually agree--but I also fear that I tend to be too hard, sometimes, on people with whom I actually do agree, to maintain the air of neutrality and fairness. I've reprimanded posters even with whom I'm friends off the forum, sometimes when it might not have even been totally necessary, but just so that people know I'm making a conscious effort to not choose sides.

It's impossible to be totally unbiased. But at the same time, I don't agree with ANYONE on this forum 100% of the time, either. I usually wind up with the conservatives on gun control and some education issues, for example, and piss off my more liberal colleagues. Whatever. Also, I hope that no one thinks I take a "party line" at all--that whatever my views are, they're my views, not "liberal" views or "Green" views or "Democratic" views or whatever.

Anyway, I freely admit that there's one issue on which I do pretty consistently come down on the side of those with whom I agree, and I've made no secret of that in how I mod FYM; that is, on gay issues. I tried, for a long time, to maintain impartiality on discussions about gay rights, homosexual culture (if there is such a thing, LOL) and the like. But, to be totally honest, when Melon left the forum for a while, I started having second thoughts about that. And basically what I asked myself, with some of the things that people in here have said about gay people and gay relationships, is this: Would I let people say this stuff about black people or Jews? Would I let slide some of the comments if they were about interracial or interfaith relationships? No, I would not. And I decided I really had to stand with the gay posters on those issues, if only so I could sleep at night. Some things are more important to me than totally impartiality.

The caveat here is that all the regulars know this, as does the rest of the mod team. I do try to continue to moderate in such a way that people who respectfully voice disagreements with aspects of homosexuality, out of sincere religious or personal conviction, also have a safe and nonjudgmental place to explain why they feel as they do. I have no problem with that. But some of the comments that I was letting go...I never should have, and I hope some of the gay posters here forgive me for that.

So to answer your question as simply as I can after all that...I'm sure I do it sometimes. In the majority of cases, it's something I consciously attempt to avoid. But for me, impartiality isn't the highest dictum by which I try to mod this forum--compassion is.

 

[U2Kitten]

Thanks for the explaination, and for not getting mad!

 

[Mullen4Prez]

Are you a good singer?

 

[pax]

Are you a good singer?

Well, "good" is definitely subjective.

I sang competitively for a number of years in high school, and at one point sang with a choir that performed at Carnegie Hall in New York City. I love to sing, and I can be caught singing at all manner of times, appropriate or not.

 

[Irvine511]

how do you think your experience as a mod might help you later in life, in regards to your career? as a person?

 

[pax]

how do you think your experience as a mod might help you later in life, in regards to your career? as a person?

Wow, good question.

As a person, it's made me become a little more circumspect, a little more aware that there are 2 sides (or more) to every story. It's definitely made me have more respect for people whose views are radically different from mine--I have to admit that I often dismissed people who were very conservative Christians, for example, before I started modding FYM. But I've come to have more respect for those views, and very much because of the sensitivity and intellectual nuance presented by some of our FYM conservative Christians. We still have our disagreements, of course, but I feel like I have a better sense of why they believe as they do.

In terms of my career...wow, I hadn't thought of that much. My initial answer would be that modding will kill my career because I spend time on Interland at work.

Ultimately my career goals are still a little fuzzy...I'd like to go back to school next year and quit corporate America, and probably get a master's degree and Ph.D. in literature and/or cultural studies. But all that could change if I publish something big before that ever happens. I guess, assuming that's the career path I take, that modding (particularly in FYM) has helped to hone both my arguing skills and my defusing skills. Which can only be helpful in just about any career path.

Does that answer your question? Sorry it was kind of vague.

 

[Irvine511]

how do you like living with a homo? has he destroyed your traditional notions of marraige and family and caused you to view both as worthless since such Godly, Christ-created institutions are now becoming increasingly available for, and intergrated with, homosexuals?



(you really don't need to answer #2 ... just giving a shout out to all the Grace's of the world)

 

[pax]

how do you like living with a homo? has he destroyed your traditional notions of marraige and family and caused you to view both as worthless since such Godly, Christ-created institutions are now becoming increasingly available for, and intergrated with, homosexuals?



(you really don't need to answer #2 ... just giving a shout out to all the Grace's of the world)

My housemate is very sweet and considerate, and we get along well. He's trying to lose weight and has asked me to hide any purchases of cookies, chocolate, etc. far, far away from him.

He doesn't have a boyfriend...he's dating someone, but pretty casually, as I don't think the feelings are particularly intense. Anyway, I have already discovered that I do not give a hoot if they're hanging out while I'm home, drinking wine and watching movies. I have my own business to attend to.

Plus, he's very psyched about Ewen visiting...he's very well-traveled and enjoyed his time in the UK, so his coolness about a three-week hetero houseguest is exceedingly good, too.

 

[AcrobatMan]

You can link to my gallery, or anyone's, by clicking the "gallery" button at the bottom of their posts. I *think* non-Premiums can view galleries, but you have to be Premium to actually have one.

thanks

Lovely pics..

Who is Dee and Who is Jeff?