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Old 01-08-2005, 01:12 PM   #1
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It's official: Tomorrow begins Phase 2!!!!

Here's a summary of my life so far. I grew up a fat kid, and got into serious shape when I was 21. I mean SERIOUS.

Anyhoo I was able to maintain it until I was about 26, until A) I hurt my back, B) I met my now former fiance', and C), I really don't communicate with my family anymore.

When I hurt my back I was out of the gym for about two years, and it took me another six months to even get back into a gym. At the time I met, moved in with, and got engaged to a beautiful woman who was as insecure as a quarter sitting on a toothpick. She also had a self image problem. Needless to say, once work was done in those days, I went home.

We were together for about three years before I made the decision to leave. I totally understood what she was going through as far as her state of mind. And I tried everything to support and try to help her "turn over a new leaf", but she had absolutely no sense of urgancy to "get better" as it were. Plus it had started to affect my demeanor and my life. So when all my efforts were exhausted, I made a choice.

I moved to Philly, ready to dedicate myself to getting myself to where I was before, mentally and physically. I wasn't there six months when I got the call from my mother that she had been approved for a "senior apartment" in upstate NY, near her sister and some family. See, my mother and I had a love/hate relationship ever since I hit college, which is another long story I'll share at another time, if anyone wants to listen. Now I had told her as incentive for her that if she ever got the place up there, I'd move there to help her out with the day to day things, as she was getting older. The minute I agreed to this I knew I'd be in the middle of a manipulative, insecure, selfish, and neurotic bunch of family members, and had almost nothing to look forward to other than making her comfortable, and a lot of grief and depression.

I made the move. That was three years ago last summer.

My Mother passed away this year, but right up to her last few days she continued to manipulate, and take advantage of the situation. Not all the time, but enough to really piss me off. Plus having to deal with the others on a day to day basis was really not what I needed in my life. It got to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore.

My sister meanwhile, lives (and has lived for the past ten plus years) in California. She's found God again, and continues to pray for me, but even though she was out of work for the first six months of last year, she wasn't about to budge and come back to help out with Mom. It was OK, though, for me though to give up my career to do this. Whatever, I made the choice.

I moved here to Queens about two weeks before she passed (which was this past summer). "THE FAMILY" decided to get a full time aid for her, even though they knew the situation with her health. She needed to be in the hospital, not at my Aunt's house. Just another short sided decision they always capable of making.

Now I'm here, and they're there, enough is and was enough. they can go on with their lives thinking the way they do, not knowing any better. If that makes them happier, good for them. They don't need me to question them. If they ever need me, I'll be there for them, they are still my family afterall. Just don't bother me.

So I rekindled my career, and have been hitting the gym with the consistency I haven't been able to muster for the last ten years. At the beginning of last year, I was in the 290's. Today I'm currently at 241 (about 19% body fat); and tomorrow, I start phase two of my training. I bought the supplements that were recommended to me, given the changes in my exercise program I'll be making beginning tomorrow. I feel great, can see my target in my sight, and am finally flushed of all that bad Karma I had there for a while.

It's raining here today, and I though to myself about how I hate rainy days. I also hated rainy days up untill about six years ago. During those six years, I just didn't care whether it rained or not. Today, it matters to me.

I'm back, almost.

Tomorrow is THE day.

Thanks for being patient with my during my rant.

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Old 01-08-2005, 02:31 PM   #2
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Time to concentrate on you. Good luck!

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Old 01-08-2005, 02:39 PM   #3
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I agree, sounds like you deserve all the time in the gym that you want. Best of luck
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Old 01-09-2005, 01:35 PM   #4
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good luck

tomorrow looks like a new start but it does end up being one it will probably end up being not the start I have in mind anyway

life is funny ja!
“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”
~Frank Zappa
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Old 01-10-2005, 04:26 AM   #5
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This is very true, life is full of funny twists and turns. What start did you have in mind anyway?

Thanks for the well wishes folks, it's much appreciated
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Old 01-11-2005, 10:54 AM   #6
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Good luck & here's to a healthier mind and body! cheers-
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Old 01-11-2005, 05:19 PM   #7
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I was in that frame of mind three years ago. I'd been diagnosed with a form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome in 2001, but my first "Aspie shrink" didn't work out and I hit a major crisis in early 2002, and had to switch docs. My new doc put me through a major medication change. My doc prior to my diagnosis as an autistic thought I just had an anxiety neurosis. So, I needed a big time change. The change was hell until October of that year. In May of that year I registered here at Interference, and PLEBA and LS in particular did wonders in getting my mind off of my problems and teaching me how to enjoy life again. To this day I am still a PLEBA girl and proud of it. It was only later on that I ventured into FYM. I don't want to get too graphic about what I was going through, only that it was very hard, but also a very necessary change in my life. I ended up having great luck with my change and I hope for the same for you.
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Old 01-12-2005, 08:59 AM   #8
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Old 01-12-2005, 03:30 PM   #9
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anyway taste brains here or is it just me?

(good story to read btw)
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Old 01-12-2005, 06:52 PM   #10
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Folks, thanks again for the well wishes.

Verte, very inspiring and reflective. I hope all is going well with you.
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Old 01-13-2005, 09:10 AM   #11
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Originally posted by Ody
anyway taste brains here or is it just me?

(good story to read btw)

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